Homeostasis- Understanding Family Trauma

[Nancy-xr]

Thank you!! This is very helpful!! My family is rejecting me right now because im finally setting boundaries!!! 😢

[MikeAnn]

I love your use of "Encanto" scenes for this topic, as they're very relevant. I had a significant amount of therapy years ago, and although I haven't personally noticed much push-back from siblings, I _have, _ as a result, become more aware of their unhealthy habits, which I once shared. They mostly arise when arguments come up, where, for example, defensiveness gets in the way of acknowledgement of the other's feelings. Too complex to describe here, but I'm sure you would understand.
"Encanto" is such a beautiful movie. Despite having seen it at least half a dozen times, it can be counted on to bring me to tears, and not even just at the end (at which point I'm a sobbing mess 😂). Mirabel's brave struggles with often-unkind family members and their criticisms, especially Abuela Alma and her "perfect" sister, and her longing for appreciation while arguably doing more, in her naturally-limited way, than her super-powered siblings, make her so lovable and relatable. Her kindness, humbleness, compassion, openness, and steadfast honesty are such good lessons for viewers, including this 66 year old kid at heart. 🤗

[MsOrganic]

Yep. I went to being compassionate from being impatient and frustrated. I breathe.

[startcamera..review]

Your messages are very helpful, thank you
I just want to be calm, creative, joyful

[sjohan]

Yep - that’s it. Survival responses aren’t healthy but can see where they come from

[ollieq]

Right, reframing the buzzword "trauma response" as "SURVIVAL response" instead is both very validating and adds back meaning to a phrase that has become so watered down it might as well be meaningless now. It sounds much less cutesy & infantilizing, and really gets much more to the point - behaviors that people put in place in order to survive their reality. In order to get through. A survival mechanism. Cheers

[jacqueP]

Enchanting is so good and makes me cry because it literally reminds me of my family. It’s so close to home and you’re absolutely right. I needed to hear this.

[nome]

Yes 💯 But even more important for me to change and grow so I don't pass it on to my children. Hopefully without inflicting too much pain on my family. ❤

[CarieGurl]

You can't change your family. Only yourself, they in turn react to the changes and improvements they notice in you.

Stay on track, they will eventually "back off" depending on your situation.

[justinefafard]

Damn. I needed to see this. I think having this awareness will help me release a whole shed load of anger & resentment I've been carrying around. Not all of it, lol, but it's a lighter load for sure. ❤

[doomsdaycrochet]

Going through this right now. I've realized my needs always came last, and somehow, I was always wrong. 🤔 Even a broken clock is right twice a day, so I couldn't have ALWAYS been wrong. Good luck to everyone else out there trying to break toxic family patterns! 🙏🫂

[spidersafetygurl]

You're speaking the truth in volumes.

[blueraccoon]

Let's look at the facts
Big sister was strong and loosing strength OR needed to rest as she carries burden
Middle sister was supposed perfect but she had high expectations and she sees perfection in imperfections
Youngest has seen her uncle's worry for potential possibilities
Peppa had moodswings for worry and she was pregnant
Mirabelle Older cousin had great hearing but can't hear her heart, middle brother was identidy crisis, little brother was animal lover and will not harm an animal, mirabell's mom she feed to heal that explains alot. I should be a therapist

[Islam-Din]

Hey ! Good day to you I’ve been following since a few months ago and this behavior you mentioned it’s very common in every nation. In fact, I just found it mention in my book please take a look to ponder. Coran sure 2:171 - But when it is said to them, ‘Follow the message that God has sent down, ’ they answer, ‘We follow the ways of our fathers.’ What! Even though their fathers understood nothing and were not guided? 😃 and what did you just mention is part of the explanation of this verse in Quran. Yes yes because of traumas people try their best to stick with their traditions because they are not listening deeply what they are following.

I appreciate much your explanation that helps a lot Thanks so much

[Jal_writez]

My older sister is like this it annoyes me A lot🤷‍♀️

[cindymora]

So half of AITAH reddit it´s like this ... hmmmm

[maart]

I do understand and see what you are saying. Then it makes me feel even more guilty sometimes, because It makes me feel like if they don't have the capacity to address their own issues, then I feel selfish for choosing that healthy path for me if it means distancing myself from my family :(
Are you able to do a video about this?
How to not feel guilty about making the healthy choices for you even though you understand why your family has a hard time changing and you won't be able to change them


Thank you for all you do 🩷

[BobbieBreaux]

We don't talk about bruno 😂 lol quite 🤕

[Phelicitea]

In which literature is this called homeostasis? I'm not a troll, I promise. I thought from your description that you were describing fawning. Homeostasis is a term from biology to describe the internal equilibrium that our parasympathetic nervous system is tasked with to maintain the optimal functioning of the human body.

[msbdx]

You’re talking too fast darling 🫨😵‍💫 Could you reduce the speed to better listen to you please ? Thank you ❤