STOP These 7 Toxic Phrases Now

Sometimes, things slip under the radar because we have no idea that what is being said is toxic. In this video, we uncover common toxic phrases people say and how they can be subtle signs of manipulation and emotional abuse. Understanding these toxic behaviors is essential for personal growth and self-improvement, helping you recognize toxic relationships, toxic friendships, and even toxic family dynamics to help you protect your emotional well-being.

This video aims to help you feel empowered by recognizing and avoiding these toxic phrases, fostering healthier connections, and enhancing your journey of self-development. This can also help you become more self-aware if you recognize yourself saying these things unconsciously.

Writer: Lightoflights
Editor: Caitlin McColl & Kelly Soong
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Animator: Sarimopi (IG: sarimopi)
Youtube Manager: Cindy Cheong

Cortney S.W. (2023). If you use any of these 8 toxic phrases, ‘your relationship is in trouble.’ Retrieved from [invalid URL removed]
Psychology Today (2022). Psychological and Physiological Power of Validation. Retrieved from [invalid URL removed]
Yasuhiro K., Pauline G., & David S. (2021). Mental health of therapeutic students: relationships with attitudes, self-criticism, self-compassion, and caregiver identity. British Journal of Guidance & Counselling, 49:5, 701-712.

[Psychgo]

What are some difficult life situations you're dealing with at the moment if you don't mind sharing. Sometimes the sharing in vulnerabilities can be healing.

[ApolloJustice-rsry]

"It's all in your head" is definitely the one that hurts the most.

[ravenclawfairy]

"Stop asking if I'm okay. Everything is fine". This hit home.

I am autistic. Emotional regulation is hard for me when I am upset. I need time to process the feelings I am feeling before I can share them. I didn't used to explain that to others. Now, I say "I need time to process what I am feeling right now. When I am ready to talk, I will let you know. Thank you for caring about me and I appreciate your patience as I process my feelings."

[KatlegoMaile-ypmv]

These phrase are the reason why i don't talk about my feelings 😭

[carolanderson]

As someone with chronic illnesses and mental health issues, my mom will frequently say “and you think you have it bad?” Or “other people have it worse.” I know she’s trying to help me out my issues into perspective, but that’s not the way to help someone do that. It just makes me feel like she’s constantly undermining my struggles and saying they aren’t as bad as they really are. I know full well that other people have it worse, but that doesn’t make my struggles any less valid or significant.

[ameliaray]

0:44 “you always” “you never” “you people always”
1:29 “i cant believe you’re upset about this”
2:04 “you speak english so well for someone from …”
2:32 “its all in your head”
2:57 “you’re too sensitive or emotional”
3:29 “stop asking if im okay. everything is fine.” (when it isnt)
3:57 “just get over it”

[time_warriors]

It's so good that you pointed out these seemingly harmless but actually destructive phrases. 🤯 I used to unintentionally use some of these phrases myself, and now I realize how damaging they can be. 😔 Thank you for reminding us how to communicate with others with more empathy and understanding.

[siennaprice]

Yes. I use these phrases on myself. “Just get over it. You’re too sensitive. It could be worse. It’s all in your head. Stop asking if I’m ok, I’m fine. You’re always going to do that. When are you ever going to learn to just get over it? When are you ever going to learn? Fake it until you make it.”

[IN_DMm]

Girl VOICE IS why does it keep alternating?
im completely sensitive about my sorroundings... your voice is the most calming in my opinion so... i love being sorrounded by calmness....

[lamtungbenny]

1:37 I swear, the sooner you realize and learn that we have different sensitivities, the better for you. In elementary I've suffered these manipulative tactics, my 'friends' saying that it's just a minor problem and move on. Leave these people, please

[MorgueInTheVoid]

Whenever I say something like "ugh I hate that." Or "I hate that movie. Or that person or whatever the case may be, lately ive been catching myself when I say that and out loud I say "I dont hate anything or anyone, I'm just frustrated."
Im really trying to express less hate towards everything in my life but you'd be surprised how much we say we hate things when we dont really mean it.

[MoonMistZero]

id like to add that constantly asking if someone is okay and treating them like a wounded animal when they do deflect or pressing when they say they’re fine is also toxic.

[Galaxenro]

I’ve been told several times that I’m really sensitive. I’ve got some mental trauma from when I younger and I was bullied because I reacted in an unexpected way. Now I have a fear of sharing my feelings in public because I’m scared of being judged.
Another phrase that I hear a lot is “That’s something that [insert characteristic] people do.” I especially hear this when that characteristic is Autism. I have Autism and I feel hurt when people say this. It makes me feel like I have something wrong with me and that I’m abnormal. I also feel hurt for the people who are more severely Autistic and are more easily labeled as “odd”. I especially hear it from peers my age. This phrase drives me off the rails and I want it to stop.

[Yazmina_]

we need more people like you! you can literally fix unkind things, it shows that you are a nice person!😊

[WOFDragonNerd]

I just say, “I’m fine” I don’t like lying, I just don’t want to drag people down with me.

[tokiimori]

I was told “you’re too sensitive” and “get over it” so much that I started to internalize these phrases to myself

[shreeyashsathe_]

You're voice is so sweet that I can hear the most toxic thing a human could ever say from you.😅

[slashersc]

time stamps!
1 0:45 "you always..." ==> "I've noticed that sometimes..."

2 1:30 "i can't belive you're upset about this" ==> "i see this is bothering you

3 2:02 "your english is so good for someone from ==> "you're english is fantastic, i admire the insights you share"

4 2:30 "it's all in your head" (dear god.) ==> " your feeling are valid and im here for you"

5 2:55 "you're too emotional" ==> "i appreciate your openness"
6 3:30 "stop asking if im okay, everythig is fine" ==> "im upset(/not fine) but im not ready to talk about it"
7 3:55 "just get over it" ==> "i see this is really hard for you, how can i support you with that?" (offering support and empathy)

(it's my first time ever doing time stamps yall so i apologize if there are inconveniences)

[drucillablack]

These kinds of videos tend to make me cry cause I often am of a more emotional and empathetic nature but I seem to live in a world that rejects such people and instead praises those who seem without empathy.

[zeelovesu]

As an autistic college student, the sixth one really hits close to home. I often get similar deflections from my other neurodivergent peers who are going through tough times, but don't have the best coping mechanisms. I know it's not necessarily my place to give them unsolicited advice, but I haven't really figured out why they eould need it before now.