SPONGEBOB CONSPIRACY #4: The Evolution Theory

Today we're going to be answering the three biggest questions in the history of Spongebob Squarepants: Were bikini bottom citizens formed from nuclear mutations? Who is Pearl's mother? What is the Krabby Patty Secret Formula?

Production Assistant Lyndsie Zimmerman

0:00 - Intro
2:14 - The Bikini Atoll Theory
7:35 - The War
11:17 - The part where things get really dark
15:53 - Conclusion

[AlexBaleFilms]

Debunking the Krabby Patties are crabs theory (since I’m literally getting commented about it non-stop)

Why is Mr Krabs the only crab in Bikini Bottom except for his family? You could ask the same question about Spongebob, Mrs. Puff, Plankton, Larry the Lobster, etc. By the same logic any of them could just as easily be the secret ingredient.

At one point Krabs takes a bite of a krabby patty and says “so that’s what I taste like.” While this is a fun idea, he’s saying this because another fish just compared the old and dry taste of the sandwich to Mr. Krabs. Mr. Krabs has definitely eaten Krabby Patties before, so if they were crab meat he wouldn’t be saying “so that’s what I taste like” as if he’s never tried them before.

The Krusty Krab is shaped like a Crab-Trap. It's been confirmed that it's actually based on a lobster trap, not a crab trap.

[yeus]

This confirms it.. That one episode, "One more bite", where Squidward has a Krabby Patty for the first time and becomes addicted is because giant squids fight and eat whales.

[juliagiles]

Daddy found me on the day I was born. According to him, my mom had died suddenly. I had no other family, so he took it upon himself to raise me. I never cared about the fact that I was adopted, or that I never knew my mom. It was always me and him, and I knew he loved me. That was all I needed.

On my 5th birthday, Daddy got me a bike. He taught me how to ride it, even if he kept complaining about his back. That was the last time I remember him being taller than me.

On my 7th birthday, I tried getting on the bike to ride with friends. It broke in half. I cried so much I thought my eyes would float clean off. But Daddy was there to comfort me. Despite his cheapness, he'd promise me a new one. He said that I was just going to be bigger than the other girls when I grew up, and that it was nothing to be ashamed of.

On my 12th birthday, Daddy threw me a birthday party at the Krusty Krab. It was embarrassing how much he dotted on me, but it was still sweet to see how much he cared. He wouldn't let me eat any of the patties, and even though I didn't even like them, I still wanted to know why. Daddy seemed to panic a little, and he threw out an excuse that I needed to watch my weight since I was almost twice his height now.

On my 16th birthday, Daddy threw me another birthday at the Krusty Krab. It was really embarrassing at first; it seemed like he put in no effort into anything, and it didn't help that my friends kept complaining. It's funny how I cared so much about how they thought of me, but now I don't even remember their names. By the end of the party, though, I found out that my Daddy got me everything I asked for: presents, ponies, a performance from my favorite band, it was all so sweet! It was only later when I caught him trying to return half the stuff did I realize that Spongebob was the one behind all of it. Around that time, it seemed like exciting things only happened when Spongebob was around. Daddy was so withdrawn during that year, always at the Krusty Krab, giving out excuses about "managing the business". Apparently there was a meat shortage that he had to deal with.

On my 20th birthday, I resigned myself to the fact that I was going to be Daddy's sole caretaker. It was getting harder for me to move around the house. I didn't mind, it was Daddy I was more worried about. His nightmares were getting worse, even with the pills I gave him every morning. He said that his spirals were all because of stress from work. The meat shortage was getting worse. I told him that I could help with the business, if he would tell me the formula. He refused over and over, giving out more excuses about how I wasn't old enough yet, how knowing the family recipe was a special event that couldn't be spoiled. I couldn't remember the last time we had a conversation that didn't include an excuse.

It's my 21st birthday. Daddy looks happy today. Almost too happy, given all the crying I heard last night. He tells me that I'm big enough, and that he's gonna teach me the secret formula.

We drive to the Krusty Krab. Daddy's quiet. He looks over once, the mask-like smile he has slipping a little. I can see it in his eyes. He looks away when he notices me starring back.

We get to the Krusty Krab. Daddy tells me to follow him. It's empty; Squidward and Spongebob's usual banter is nowhere to be heard. That's strange, Daddy never gives them a day off. Daddy leads me to the kitchen, not his office, where the formula is. He leads me to the freezer.

He tells me he loves me.

He closes the door.

[lielouetta]

Maybe that’s why Mrs. Puff and Mr. Krabs are so perfect for each other, they’re both insane.

[KrabbyPattyArchive]

Adding more to this theory, in the episode "Spongicus" (the one where Plankton turns the Chum Bucket into the Colosseum), Plankton reveals the ingredients for chumsticks as the following: Jellyfish squeezings; Seahorse snout; Sprinkle of anchor rust, and....



Whale blubber. Assuming Krabs and Plankton developed the formula together in "Friend or Foe"

@AlexBaleFilms

[blacksenko]

Alex: “Nope, no no no no no no, Mr. Krabs wouldn’t do that. He loves Pearl.”

Don’t forget that he also sold Spongebob to the Flying Dutchman for 62 cents.

[sterlingdragon]

my theory: spongebob is nearsighted. he wears glasses for jellyfishing and consistently fails driving tests. if he just wore his glasses when driving maybe he'd be ok

[harz]

The Question now is, did he really adopt Pearl because he feels bad about her mothers death? If he uses her mother as meat for the krabby patty he clearly can't feel to bad about it, what if instead he took her in and is spoiling her in hopes that she grows up big so she can supply more meat once her mother is all used up.

[rickmwangi]

That also explains why when Pearl was having her growth spouts, the thing that made her well was the patty

[woahjuice.]

i don't even think this is a "childhood ruined" moment, this is a "childhood explained" moment. so as haunting as these theories are, they are somewhat satisfying to think these are the true answers.

[Carlos-goce]

the fact that there is an entire episode about pearl getting acne because of krabby patty soap, also means pearl washes herself with her mothers corpse

[kirby]

What makes this theory even more darker that the boat looks insanely similar to the one in Mr. Crab's Dreams

[KingChiggy]

The biggest outlier in this whole thing is actually Sandy. She specifically came down to Bikini Bottom and talks about other squirrels back home in Texas, so this is not the only place that has intelligent animals. And there is even a cat that shows up in a more recent episode that is fish sized and is basically a celebrity who pretends to be able to hold their breath indefinitely underwater, so we know that there are intelligent animals on land.

[mochann]

I’ve seen multiple examples of people pointing out how weird it is for fish people to eat fish. I can never find myself to be bothered by it. Fish already eat fish

[owens.]

I will never hear “Mother of Pearl” the same again.
*THAT’S* putting me into a deep depression.

[NotSoNormalSquirtle]

0:40 At first, it was "haha, funny crazy old guy."

Now it's "oh god, crazy old guy and his son have been killed by the muse"

[BlackMamba]

I heard of all these theories, but you are so detailed in explaining and proving them, and even extend and linking them and also proving it with every single evidence you find. A true Sherlock

[mrpockets]

One more observation that goes hand in hand with this theory: I don’t recall pearl ever eating krabby patties. In fact when she starts the kuddly krab she replaces the krabby patty with a salad

[TheSecondVersion]

The theory of Pearl's mother being used to feed fish for years has some basis in reality. When whales die, their corpses sink to the seafloor and are scavenged by a wide variety of species. This is called a "whalefall" and it can sustain a mini-ecosystem for *years.*

[polumathes]

Another potential problem with this theory is that Mr. Krabs is canonically in his 50’s-60’s, and Pearl, for most of the show, is not yet 18. The show seems to imply that Krabs was a soldier is his youth, and that the Krusty Krab has been open for a couple of decades. If Krabs really got Pearl after the war and before the KK, one would think she’d be significantly older than she is in the show.