Parasitic Narcissists HIJACK Codependents' Emotional Umbilical Cords

In this video, Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, explains the parasitic and symbiotically selfish relationship pathological narcissists have with their codependent victims. Through the use of an "umbilical cord," Ross demonstrates the one-way distribution of love, respect, caring, and trust. In other words, he discusses how narcissists will "suck dry" a codependent for their own selfish use/needs.

ABOUT ROSS ROSENBERG
Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC is a psychotherapist, educator, expert witness, and celebrated author. He is also a global thought leader and clinical expert in codependency, trauma, pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and addictions.

Ross's pioneering codependency contributions are responsible for the sweeping theoretical and practical updates and developing a treatment program that permanently resolves it.

Ross has been featured on national TV and radio and is a regular radio and podcast guest. In addition, he has traveled the world, giving his one-of-a-kind keynote presentations and educational workshops.

His global impact is best illustrated by his 23 million viewed/240,000 subscribed YouTube channel and the sale of 150,000 Human Magnet Syndrome books published in 12 languages.

In 2022, Ross Rosenberg created The Self-Love Recovery Podcast, reaching a new audience to discuss important mental-health topics while providing
resolution and treatment options, recommendations, and resources for
victims of narcissistic abuse, gaslighting, trauma, and codependency or Self-Love Deficit Disorder™. The podcast is available on all major platforms
including Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Spotify, and iHeartRadio.

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[irinamladenoska]

I love this. I am recovered codependent. I had the fight of my life. I went no contact with mother and grey rock, coparenting with the ex narc. I am free like a bird. And I love my self. Freely, unconditiinaly. At last. I am 53.

[SKC]

Well said!!! Married 40 years in July. From day one something was off. His grandfather was a narcissistic angry alcoholic who beat his grandmother. His mom was as a narcissist. I searched all over the internet for decades trying to figure out what I was dealing with. Didn’t discover fully until several years ago. We’ve lived as roommates the last three years because I separated myself from him. I worked mostly part time raising our three children so I don’t have a career to fall back on to support myself. I find peace in my relationship with God. God bless everyone that’s lived through this or currently living with these parasites.

[Garden]

Oh my. Now I know why I went off on my narcissistic sister and cut her off. I always was worried that I was the narcissist because I was so brutal in my attack against her, but I see through your video that I was reacting to the garbage fed to me by my narcissistic, BPD mother and now this psychopathic narcissistic sister. I apologized to this “sister” but of course, she NEVER apologized for anything she ever did to me or anyone in the family. She rages “in secret” at family members until their eyes bleed. I kicked her out of my life after I excoriated her and will never allow her to return. There was never any love or respect in our relationship. I see that I was right to leave and even though I know I should never had said the things I did, I now understand why I did this. (I recounted the horrible, evil things she did throughout her life. In technicolor.) I was OVER the crap and I had had enough- this I knew. I pulled off her leash from off my neck and I’ll never look back. God help me to never react so abusively again, but she deserved everything I said. Now, another puzzle piece has been fit into the healing jigsaw of my past toxic family life.

[noodlesm]

As a sober recovering SLD - this video is outstanding. Ross’s advice 🏅

[SteelyBlue]

Parasite, is the perfect word. Yes, Thank you Ross Rosenberg. 😊👏👏🎉🎈

[cloudwalker]

I was married to this and barely made it out with my life. Thank you for bringing up this topic, Ross.

[AdamNPDSurvivor]

This video is brilliant. How the co-dependent ends up (sucked dry) is exactly what happened to me. I spent 22 years with a blood sucking covert narcissist to the point I had nothing left. I am 2.5yrs into recovery. It is hindsight now but the ex-wife did absolutely NOTHING to help me with our 3 kids or life in general. There were days where I was chronically stressed out and couldn't cope but she never offered to share the burden or lighten the load. I was so wrapped up in the dysfunction that I was unable to take a step back and assess the situation as being very messed up. Becoming consciously aware of what you are involved with is massive. I became aware after I was discarded and turned to Google.

[CanadianMathMagician]

Thank you Ross Rosenberg for several years of your dedication on the NPD subject matter. I cut the umbilical cord three years ago. The tap was running full blast and then I turned off the spigot instantaneously while using the worst case scenario approach. I was ready for war because I was well armed with the knowledge necessary to protect myself and buffed myself with multiple layers of armour. My support system was well fortified upon my immediate exit. To this day, I'm ready for the fight of my life should the narcissist decide to return and continue their stalking behaviour. They were in sheer disbelief upon my unexpected exit. They now fear being exposed and understand that I'm now the galvanized version of myself. I wish you continued success in your studies on NPD.

[munchey]

Absolutely! He called me selfish, entitled and accused me of being a gold digger. He jumps from job to job, he’s had this last one for just over 2 years. Ive worked for the same company for 20 years this coming July. I had good credit. I helped him buy his truck because his credit was crap. He moved into my home that is paid off. When he lost his job (his company, his income ) because of a DUI, which I incidentally was the one who called the police and he was arrested in my driveway. All I wanted was a happy, loving marriage. We’ve been separated for over year. I have divorce papers and I have zero interest at this point in dating anyone. I need to heal myself first and that’s what I’m working on. Thank you Ross! 😊

[wendydaniel]

Thank goodness I am very comfortable being on my own and choosing to walk my spiritual path . I don't miss relationships, especially if it comes to take from my place of Peace and happiness. Been there too many times starting from having a bad relationship with a narc mother, sisters, and ex romantic partners. Love myself, my cat and a few close friends. Feeling relieved since releasing all these dysfunctional people from my life.

[mariesprowl]

Fabulous video Ross. I believe these types form energy cords to our energetic wounds from previous trauma. That would also explain intense sexual magnesium since the sexual chakra is also the seat of life force sexual energy but also shame, blame, emotions and past trauma.
❤

[bpassionfashion]

I lived with a SOCIOPATH for 18 years. For the last 10 years he squatter in my living room and refuse to leave. The law in New York gives rights to anyone living in your apartment for more than 30 days - He prayed on my fear of authority and the legal system. I am glad you are talking about these type of Narcissist bc many people don’t know there is a difference! Mine was the worst parasite ever bc he was equally intelligent. Pretended to run a restaurant when I met him, while I was the one with a job, savings, new car and stability. He sucked me dry ! Financially. Emotionally. Psychologically. Spiritual. Think of a predator that grabbed you by the neck and won’t let go until there is nothing left of you. I got him out of my home but I have been in a state of frozen since 2020. May God help me and help anyone else in this situation.

[akai.christo]

Thank you Ross♥️🙏🔥wish you and all here a beautiful weekend✌️

[susanneosborne]

I've watched a thousand videos on narcissistic relationships and this one is the holy grail of describing the dynamic of my relationship of 9 years that is ending. I only recently labeled him as a parasite and I stumbled on this video when I searched for my boyfriend is a parasite. I feel nauseated. Certainly gives me more strength to stay the course of moving on. I'm exhausted.

[aureliafox]

Right at about four minutes in you start describing the exact experience I have had since moving in to help take care of my parents! It’s been about eight months and I have learned so much about myself, my childhood, and our family dynamics!! It’s been an unbelievable ride and I am thankful for your videos which have really helped to shed light on the reality of the situation! 🙏✝️
💪💓🪽

[judylee]

Allowing being made a fool isn’t self love, no matter who it is doing it.
I just took a (probably permanent) break from my PTSD therapy team for making me out a fool. They have brought me a long way but allowing my therapist to gaslight me does not serve me very well. I was actually surprised the therapist did that. I don’t know why she did it but it put her on the other side of the fence as dishonest, not forthright and is no longer trustworthy. I don’t care why she did it, all the way around it was wrong.
The umbilical chord is a good analogy to describe the anti social narcissist and the co-dependent. I was personally attacked, slandered and defamed by two couples like that to cover up their own bad behavior that should have landed them in prison and would be if not for their higher positions in life and better connections. What they have done they did for 18 years, ruining me. That is why I’ve been in trauma therapy. What my therapist did last week certainly hasn’t given me closure when it appears she practices in alignment with the predators.
I know my situation is not the norm. Or maybe it is? It just so happens I have survived when many others don’t.
Sorry to blow up the comment thread. It’s just when I heard the dynamics and commonalities of those couples I’ve had to say something. Because when they have power and sadism in their fabric (or umbilical cord) they can be killers.

[matilda]

"that's your lot in life" was the motto of many of our forebears, whether accepted or forced to accept

[TwoGendersOnly]

What I don't understand is why it's hard to move on from this past relationship. I've been alone but not lonely. I always had friends loving parents etc. I've had relationships come and go and felt hurt but this withdrawal is brutal. It has been a month and the past two days have been exceptionally bad. I went no contact once before and around the month mark was the same thing and I gave in and contacted her. This time I am staying vigilant despite feeling anxious sick depressed sad and getting migraines from tension and stress. Maybe this time is hard because there's some guilt involved. It's always easier to move on when it's clear who's at fault I suppose. It's not just that I miss her and the good times, I also wish I could fix things. But the logic side of me knows that it's toxic and it was detrimental to my health. Both of ours actually. Being pulled in both directions is so awful.

[briand]

Thank you! Please keep posting. This is needed. I’m going to get therapy soon.

[SupremeAtheist]

To me it’s hard to even try another relationship, the red flags pops up more than ever when you learn what narcissistic abuse is. Especially if you’re a gay man, finding a match is like unlikely. I don’t feel physically or emotionally attracted to women. My mom is a narcissist herself, I can’t change that.