What is Parental Alienation?

Parental Alienation is a serious issue in separation and divorce cases, recognised by psychologists as emotional abuse and family violence towards the child and the rejected parent and family members. Parental alienation has long-term negative effects on the children. This video will provide a brief introduction of what parental alienation is, the consequences, what does alienation look like in the parent and the child, and common tips for co-parenting to reduce conflict and avoid participating in alienation.

TIMESTAMP
What is Parental Alienation? 00:30
Parental Alienation vs Parental Alienation Syndrome 01:46
Consequences of Parental Alienation 02:17
3 Types of Alienators 03:28
Parental Alienation Behaviours 04:53
8 Components of Parental Alienation 06:30
Treatment in the Justice System 11:27
Good Co-parenting 12:33
Coping and Moving Forward 13:57

SUMMARY
- Parental Alienation is focused on the behaviour of the alienating parent which can lead to Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), the rejecting actions, thoughts and feelings of the child towards the alienated parent.
- Children generally do better connected with both parents. Therefore the consequences of child-parent separation can result in long-term harm. For the child, this includes health issues, problems at school, social adjustment challenges, engaging in risky sexual behaviour, or use of drugs & alcohol, involvement in criminal activities later on in life. For the alienated parent, this involves stress, health issues, higher substance, drug, alcohol abuse, depression, and suicide.
- Targeted parents should be considered an abused adult, and the children should be considered an abused child. The best option is to get treatment for the abusive (alienating) parent and put the children in a safe environment with the non-abusive (alienated) parent.
- Alienating parents can be classified into naive, active, or obsessed alienators. Naive and active alienators can curb their behaviour with co-parenting classes. Obsessed alienators usually require professional intervention and treatment because of underlying personality disorders such as narcissistic or borderline tendencies.
- Parental alienation behaviours include rigid enforcement of visitation schedule, blaming the other parent for problems in front of the child, changing the name of the child, 'rescuing' the child from the other parent. At the extreme end, this can involve false allegations of assault, sexual abuse, drug, alcohol use or illegal activities on the targeted parent.
- There are 8 components to identify parental alienation in children developed by Dr Richard Gardner. These include denigration, frivolous rationalisation, lack of ambivalence, 'independent' thinker phenomenon, automatic reflexive support, absence of guilt, borrowed scenarios, and spread of animosity. Parental alienation is mild if 1-3 components present, moderate if 3-5 components are present, and if 5-8 components are present, it suggests extreme alienation.
- Family Courts have traditionally treated parental alienation as a custody issue instead of a child protection issue.
- Social workers around the world (esp UK, Australia, US, Canada) are gradually being trained to look for signs of parental alienation. With more awareness raised by family advocate groups, NGOs and other professionals, legislative change can be made to end this form of child abuse.
- Solicitors placed in the ethical position of inadvertently promoting parental alienation should ask the Court to assign a guardian ad litem to protect the interest of the children.
- Parents can observe co-parenting rules to avoid participating in or triggering alienation behaviour.
- As an alienated parent, the pain of emotional and physical distance to your children can be heartbreaking. Most alienated parents can find it hard to sleep, eat, or will be overcome with sadness, grief or depression. Suicide rates among alienated parents are at epidemic proportions.
- As an alienated parent, you are not alone. It's important to find support to give you the perseverance of going through the family court system to reunite with your child. In the meantime, you can be a role model for your child.

REFERENCES

[lilaworley]

Really well done.
Please don't forget that ANY caregiver can alienate.
Disordered or dysfunctional grandparents can also alienate a child and manipulate the child to reject their fit and loving parent.

[stacywilliams]

This was really an excellent description and so easy to understand the struggle of parental alienation. It is a MUST SEE for anyone going through the struggle.

[fredreedphoto]

I was told by a Wayne county (Detroit) CPS supervisor with 25 years of experience that my case is the worst parental alienation she has ever seen. I have all 8 components and I’m struggling reconnecting with my daughters 😢. I’m trying to stay strong but it’s difficult. They’re now saying that they wish I would die 😞.

Thank you for making this video. Somehow I don’t feel as alone in this situation anymore.

[Jacrispy]

This was incredible. I don't even know how to express my gratitude for the work you put into this. I wish there was a way to require all new parents to watch this. I wish there was a way to get everybody to watch it. Imagine the number of children that could be saved from going through this abuse. I'm a father going through this, and I fear I haven't done my part in spreading awareness. You inspire me to do more for the cause, not just my own piece of it. Thank you again.

[rlgaskin]

That happened to me personally. Well done video.

[GoldCountryGetaways]

Thank you for this introduction to Parental Alienation. For to long discussions and interventions regarding this destructive family dynamic have been taboo and a socially exceptable result of divorce. Family Court reform and PAS training for related agencies is badly needed. However, funded is not made available by the same local government that financially benefits from perpetuating custody conflicts (via court costs, appointing minors council, parenting classes, drug screening, CPS...) rather then swiftly resolving them fairly.
Children are growing up with wounds, anger and sadness that they can not understand for fear of learning that their world has been manipulated and spoonfed to tgem by a controling and alienating parent disguised as love.

[dougbubba]

Brilliant, share, share, share! Even if your relationship is OK, so you recognise what's best.

[ellachi]

I am a victim of parental alienation syndrome

[janismarkopoulos]

It can happen to custodial parents too. Trust me.

[Lepermessiahe]

Don't let the other parent tell the kids who you are. Toot your own horn and tell the kids who you are and what your capable of and follow it up with consistent behavior.

[bjorncedervall]

Good job. At 14 min 10 s it is mentioned that suicides among alienated parents are at epidemic proportions. If anyone has solid references on the suicide topic - please post them here.

[johnnychase]

Thanks for the video this was very good information.

[reettaelina]

I think judgmenting these cases might go wrong in very many cases, I have a personal experiment from watching myself, my relatives, police, childcare and my narcissist ex behavior, all have gone wrong

[JoseTorres-jfxl]

My ex gives every excuse why my daughter can't see me it's the most painful thing I want to see my daughter

[williamsummers]

Parental custody of children needs to adopt the laws stated objective to achieve “What is best for the child”. It is not doing that.
We could do this by developing protocols that confers (over time) equal parental rights and responsibilities, …..after parentage is proven?
Children's natural maturation process has 3 stages and is the basis for the primary protocol being:-
A. The unconditional love of the mother from birth until 7 years. The mother to have “thefinalsay”
B. The conditional love of the father, who takes his children out into the world, gives security and teaches social boundaries from 7 years until 13. The father to have “thefinalsay”.
C. The friendship and respect of peers from 13 years until 18. The child to have “thefinalsay”
If these 3 stages are not navigated successfully, maturation will not be satisfactorily achieved and mental resilience reduced. This becomes generational.
Such a regime of equal parental rights (over time) would bind parents into a co-operative relationship, because (over time) each will hold the power of “thefinalsay” when they are best favoured to use it. This binding of parents is an important consequence of the protocol, because the parent’s relationship is as important to the children's development as their presence.
This sequential primary parent protocol would be the default position, but in exceptional cases (with due process proof) can be varied by the court.
The alleviate suffering is worthy. To prevent it is divine, but thankless.
Buckminster Fuller said:-
“You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”

[halodvine]

It should be mandatory for any professional given the task to protect children to be educated on this.

[Missy-mncc]

It's so sad that women usually stoop this low using kids as weapons trying to hurt the ex partner. There's alot of them around and this is getting quite common. Tbh alot of them usually trap a guy first by getting pregnant. Masters of manipulation. They completely disgust me and people like this should not have kids

[georginasantich]

at the end of the day the real victims are the kids.very sad.you must be like children to enter the kingdom of God