Treatment of Attachment-Based 'Parental Alienation'

Treatment of Attachment-Based "Parental Alienation"

Presented by Dr. Craig A. Childress

Description:
This lecture will outline the diagnosis and treatment of an attachment-based model for the psychological and family processes in high-conflict divorce, traditionally described as “parental alienation.” This is a follow-up presentation to an extremely well-received introduction that described, among other things, the attachment-system foundations that lead to parental alienation. You can watch that lecture here. In this presentation, Dr. Childress will set forth a clear framework for diagnosing the presence of attachment-based parental alienation, as well as the components necessary for its effective treatment and resolution.

Those who view this lecture will learn:
- The diagnostic framework for identifying when attachment-based parental alienation is, and when it is not, responsible for producing the parent-child conflict involved in high-conflict divorce

- The four key treatment phases necessary for the effective treatment and resolution of an attachment-based model for parental alienation

- The essential features of the child’s psychological experience surrounding parental alienation that are key to the child’s therapy and a restoration of the child’s affectional bond with the currently targeted-rejected parent

- The role of the alienating parent in the child’s treatment and recovery, and approaches to managing and working with the alienating parent during and following treatment

Bio:
Dr. Craig Childress is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in child and family therapy, parent-child conflict, marital conflict, and child development. Dr. Childress has an additional background specialty in early childhood mental health involving the attachment system and the neuro-development of the brain during childhood.
Prior to entering private practice, Dr. Childress served as the clinical director for a children’s assessment and treatment center operated under the auspices of California State University, San Bernardino. He also was on medical staff at Children’s Hospital of Orange County as a pediatric psychologist, where he served on a collaborative project with the UCI Child Development Center regarding the early identification of ADHD in preschool-age children.

[bethanylynnegriffith]

This might be the first youtube video to legit change my life....

[russellwalker]

I am crying and my body is shaking and I feel like throwing up. This doctor has answered every question that I was wondering about my 12 old son why is he acting like this. I'm so overwhelmed I don't know what to do.

[lakinney]

This is extremely accurate, with variations for each individual family. My Brothers and I experienced this through our parents high conflict divorce and my Mother Alienated my Father. Long story short, Dr. Childress has the Alienating parent personality disorder down to a science. After years of reflection, self awareness, therapy and educating myself, I am now finally working to break this cycle of abuse. Thank you so much for the information!

[claudettelaureano]

Do you know how or why I believe this is true?
Because I feel exactly what he is saying. I resonate with this 💯
I was not a product of divorce. My parents are still together. My parents are 72/73 years old.

I resonate with the victimized child. Regardless of the kind of treatment or abuse is, you are ultimately neglected in some way. It’s all trauma. So for that, I resonate with the child.

[samanthawalding]

Im Samantha. My only child, my 14 year old daughter, has been progressively alienated from me for 9 years now. Im so overwhelmed by the seemingly unending traumatic events occurring one after another. Each more hurtful to me than the one before. I grieved her almost as if she had passed when she was taken from me. I walked to her room every day and smelled her sheets and her clothes. One day, I could no longer smell her on them and I remember the utter despair I felt as I hit my knees and cried out to the God I was raised to believe in. I asked WHY? No, I SCREAMED it, repeatedly... I have never talked to that God since that day. Its been 9 years and I still have only supervised visitation 2 hours for 3 Saturdays a month. My daughter, once so outgoing and good, tender hearted ; has slowly morphed into a cold, stoic shell. She seems to have no identity of her own. She cannot name her own interests or likes. It seems so bizarre to me. Its happened slowly but progressively and I know internally, she has hardened a little every day. I have so much love to give and so much time; yet she is living in a lovely home where noone cares how her day goes or whats going on with her or even notices that she doesnt have friends and doesn't care about her hygiene most days. I FEEL SO HELPLESS. WHY CANT ANYONE SEE WHAT THIS IS DOING TO HER? WHY WONT SOMEONE HELP MY DAUGHTER? I was a paralegal for many years and served in the ARMY. I was once successful, ambitious and outgoing. I LOVED being a mom and was great at it. I have taken the high road and tried in every interaction to act in a way which would serve Saylor's best interest. I was always so worried about setting a good example for her of what to do when faced with adversity. I also was consumed with worrying about whether something I would do( that her dad or step mom would not like) would hurt her in any way or cause her further upset. She is always walking on eggshells. Trying to do any and everything nice or extra just to be seen by them or get loved. She needed it so bad. This is KILLING ME finally writing this. I was weak. I let the grief and feeling of failure and the guilt consume me until I lost all memory of the mother I really was. I began to believe the things they were saying about me were true. I started to think I didn't deserve her. I WAS WRONG. But it took me many wasted years and much self destruction and the consequences of same before
i It was system has failed her. I know she feels like I will never win in court; so she has just given up that her life will ever be any different than the way it is. The entire 9 years Tried to never let her know how much I was hurting; but I could never fully hide it. I've always tried to teach her to be her own authentic self. Everyone else is already taken. I pushed indivuduality, her dad and step mom push conformity. Fitting in. For the first couple years I thought she would stay the same light hearted funny kid. I was wrong. She doesnt "fit in". At least she doesn't feel like she does. And worse, she now seems to show no empathy toward me or my pain being away from her. She has stopped all signs of compassion for humanity. She seems to think only animals can be trusted and are worth loving. She sees my supervised visitation as normal now and is saying things "we gave you an extra hour once last month and you say we arent being reasonable". As if now SHE is part of the machine that is keeping us apart. I know why she does it. I forgive her but Im so scared of the damage done. I'm trying to get it together to represent myself in court; but, each interaction with her cold indifference toward me makes me so upset, I lose all momentum. I know the law and the research, but I cant keep my head clear because of the pain I still feel. Its indescribable. But I would liken it to crippling, or a pain which causes intermittent total incapacitation. I cant seem to heal or stay clear headed long enough between the times something happened to rip a new black hole in my soul. I can't afford a lawyer, I need an experienced counselor in Louisiana to examine her and her father. Im trying to figure out if I can have it court ordered. She has health insurance. I haven't found the right one. Any insights you could give me for a case in Rapides parish Louisiana, I would be greatly appreciated. My name is Samantha. My daughter is 14. I lose her love more ever day and it is soul crippling. Hard for me to breathe sometimes. any Louisiana specific info from ANYONE would be GREATLY appreciated. I have a pretrial tomorrow. I cant fail her. Im all alone against he, his PhD wife and his 500 per hour attorney with a full staff of paralegals and secretaries. I HAVE TO TO DO THIS. I HAVE TO. I CANT LOSE AGAIN.

[arisjelilai]

Shit, this lecture explains why im so fucked up

[daniellecarr]

How do we get help proving this in court??? I need help desperately in a court battle for my kids as we speak...this is exactly what is going on!

[amyroper]

This is so spot on! But I have a question. In my situation, there is no way my ex (the alienating parent) will agree to counseling. She will sue me in court if I try to have a psychologist take her time away from my son. And that process will develop into the greatest crisis the world has ever seen. That woukd be way more harmful to the kids than just continuing on the way we are going. I would think this would be true for many people, no?

[analiza]

How does infidelity of the alienating parent factor into the equation? Isn't infidelity and being alienated from your children reasonable cause for fearing abandonment in the future? Does that fear make one borderline or just when it causes one to sabatage or abandon otherwise healthy relationships? Despite being the betrayed spouse and alienated parent, I seem to be the only one doing the work to bring the family together and reconcile differences. So many questions that I need answers to. Can you recommend a qualified therapist in my area?

[fredkaufmann]

I am extremely impressed. I am so relieved that this level of  expertise is available. I have 1, 000 "s of hours on the tube and in all kinds of books.This Dr is hitting all the nails in sight and NOT in sight!

[MariAlistineMoss]

This came out six years ago. Every Judge, lawyer and social worker needs to watch this and have a training.

[dbo]

This is the first time in over 38 years I’ve heard someone give clinical voice to the nightmare that my 5 children and I, the alienated parent, are suffering through. My ex wife alienated our children from her own mother and any of her family members who sympathized with me or tried to tell her she was wrong. I have never lost hope or faith in God for a resolution but there have been many times of doubt, discouragement and pain. I could never fully explain this issue to anyone and felt totally powerless except for my underlying faith in God to bring truth to light.

[summerssaintz]

Ive never thought that this was something more kids had to go through, as a child when my mom wasn’t allowed to see me by court order my father would tell me she was coming to pick me up so i would sit by the front door waiting for my mom all day just for her to never show up so my dad could give me a long lecture on how horrible of a mother she was.. it’s sickening knowing that there are so many parents out there that do this to their children and imbed such disgusting things into our naive minds. Even as an adult im still unraveling everything i went through and trying not to let it affect me but it still does. I hope every kid who had to go through this knows that they aren’t alone and not to feel guilty for how you felt as a kid you didn’t know any better just what you were being told.

[anniejefferson]

Studies need to be done for all us parents who have been dealing with this for our children. These kids now reaching 30 are so damaged. These narcs are sadistic. So selfish.

[TheEmpowerers]

This man deserves a noble peace prize.

[rickperalta]

These talks illuminate decades of unfortunate experience, spanning generations.

THANK YOU DR. CHILDRESS!

[m-aussyk]

Alienated parent here in Australia! ALL our systems here, therapy and legal systems are so far behind on this! I pray your teachings reach them here! 🙏 Thank you for your work 💝

[factsuncensored]

Dr Childress you are a living legend, a God send. I cant thank you enough, you've hit the nail on the head 100%. Champion!!!! This information will help millions of families now & in years to come ;)

[aaronhagan]

You are an amazing person Dr.Childress.. My daughter is 7 years old and has been showing the indicators you speak of since around 4 years old. I am in the middle of litigation at the moment; your viewpoints and understanding of the subject have helped me keep a level head and combat the alienation with a level of compassion that I would have not had if I had not listened to these lectures. Thank you.

[thebackyardbrewer]

Man I had two borderline narcissistic parents who both had childhood attachment trauma who divorced when I was young. Im 48 and I'm only successfully navigating and understanding this fully now! It's YouTube counselling for me 👍