YOU DON'T HAVE TO RELAPSE TONIGHT (even if you want to)

Noah Thomas (bignoknow) is an affiliate of LetsGetChecked

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This video is for educational and documentary purposes only and is not intended to treat or diagnose. The opinions expressed are that of the individual in the video and nobody else. Please consult a health care professional for all mental and physical healthcare needs.

I Noah Thomas, the creator of this channel, have been diagnosed hypogonadism by a medical doctor and legally prescribed the medically indicated treatment of Testosterone Replacement Therapy.

My Story

My name is Noah and on May 18 2011, I had a rare reaction to a medication called VIVITROL and consequently, spiraled into a suicidal depression with depersonalization and anxiety. I lost 25 lbs in 4 weeks and was in full panic or near panic for 8 weeks straight mixed with the darkest most painful depression I cold have ever imagined. I immediately could not work and had to move in with my parents who, along with many siblings and friends, had to watch me 24/7 as I was a danger to myself. Eventually I was hospitalized in the Psych Ward for a week. Getting through each day seemed truly unbearable and I knew I would surely die. I have been put on many many different doctor prescribed SSRI's SNRI's Tricyclics, mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, holistic meds, acupuncture and even a form of shock therapy called RTMS. I barely saw any improvement in my condition for a full year. It was decided I had treatment resistant depression and I spent nearly every moment in tears. Weeks after starting my newest round of medications (Seroquel & Nortryptaline) as a last ditch effort, I had my blood drawn for possible hormone imbalances and my Testosterone levels came back 200 ng/Dl and 150 ng/Dl. The average 25 year old male has 750 ng/Dl. With this discovery I had an explanation as to why I was not getting better and why I might be so so sick. The symptoms of Low T are very similar to those of major depression. I started legally prescribed testosterone replacement therapy soon after and have been checking in with the world and documenting my experience with treatment as well as giving my insight and perspective on various topics of mental health. I am blessed to say that I have slowly, over the last 6 years, been improving and becoming more stable which I never thought to be possible. My low T manifested itself in the form of Major depression, anxiety, and depersonalization/ derealization for over a year. Treating my low testosterone has been 1 HUGE part of the puzzle but I have had to continue to work hard to hold on to my mental stability with many set backs. Gaining some mental stability back is nothing short of a miracle as I was near death for what felt like forever. I do not consider myself to be totally healed yet but I am closer now then ever before and aim to use what I have been through to help or at least offer support to others in need I was able to successfully come off my Seroquel and Pamelor.

I work out all the time as a part of my mental health recovery!!! Weight training and all kinds of cardio rule much of my free time and I also share this on my channel.

Noah Thomas (bignoknow) is an affiliate of LetsGetChecked

[jkrischner]

If you found this video you on the right track

[DownfallDarkness]

Very helpful video man.... I was literally on the verge of relapsing tonight, and your video just snapped me out of it the second you uttered the words "Fuck Day Zero." You are right man. Fuck that, I am better than that and so is anybody else going through this fight against a poisoning, self-killing addiction.

[Neon_ZeonYT]

It’s the middle of the night and I was so close to touching that blade again. I was just on YouTube looking up random things to try to avoid reaching out to it and using it again. This helped me calm down a bit, thank you. Fuck day zero (the ending of the video got me to cry a bit)

[scottcosta]

Thank u so much I'm on day one from heroin and my connect just called me. My by is in rehab and I'm all alone. I really needed this.

[ToasterTrain]

I didn't drink though. I was close. I hate this time of year.

[kross]

Thanks for your words of inspiration. I was very close to relapsing today. I'm a recovering alcoholic, i've been on the wagon for 7 months now. Your video detoured me from making a major mistake. Thanks again, God Bless.

[sawakitakouki]

I know some don’t count self harm as a addiction but for me it is and I was so close to relapsing today

[frozen.volcanoes]

i found this video last year after simply searching "dont relapse" on youtube. it was the first video i clicked on. even though its from 9 years ago and has less than 1, 000 likes, its the first thing that comes to mind when i think about relapsing. nearly 2 months ago i celebrated one year clean, and i dont know if id be where i am without THIS video. to anyone out there reading this, it does get better. the point of living is being alive, its what we're all here for. dont just survive, live. i love you, and there are so many reasons to keep going.

[dylanb]

This video is helping me walk away from the liquor store rn. I wanna have a drink so bad but I know if I do I throw all my hard work away. I’m outside one the side walk just listening to this video and looking at the store. I’m playing this on repeat till I’m home thank you brother

[allsdownasdlkfsd]

I'm 5 months sober from clonazepam and alcohol, and I've been extremely tempted lately. Thanks for this.

[geniame]

Added this video to my Favorites playlist. I know I'll need it the next time I'll have the urge to self harm

[isoscelestT]

Today is my sobriety date. I have 25 years. Yes, I'm one of the "old timers" now. I had a major crisis on the occasion of my 7th anniversary. My father passed away on my sobriety date. The thing that saved me was that I had spent those seven years making amends to him for the horrible way I treated him when I was a teenager.

[terridunbar]

Thanks buddy. Was thinking about going to see the coke dealer at the bar this evening and sniffing some fattys and drinking some beers but I remember how ashamed of myself I felt after last time I went. Fuck day zero 100%👍

[lifechanging]

You are the main reason why I have managed to be sober! I am five days from 30 days sober, and I really believe that this is the time I will manage to quit drinking completely. Thanks for all your videos. Fuck day zero!

[knighted]

almost a year clean, needed to hear this. fuck day zero

[veronicajay]

❤ thank you. I almost walked into the liquor store on the way out of target today. But i didnt.

[AaronPollockOfficial]

Thank you so much for making this. Came close yesterday but I watched this instead. Woke up proud of myself. I’ll be keeping this video handy 🙏

[anthonymonterroza]

Damn. 9 years later and this video helped me from relapsing. I was on the edge of relapsing but thanks to this video it gave me motivation to keep going

[MicahPotts]

Thanks buddy. No doubt this has helped a LOT of people. Keep up the good work.

[KingStivan]

i felt the proudness shine thru my monitor !! keep on the good work.