Alexithymia and complex PTSD

Are you struggling with naming your emotions and feelings? Can you describe feelings and identify them? People who have been exposed to prolonged trauma, abuse and neglect often loose that ability, which is called alexithymia... here are some tips on how to work through this....

*** join our closed FB group ***

--------------------------------------
follow me on social media :)
--------------------------------------

----------------
subscribe
----------------

[alysfreeman]

I’m 62 and only now do I recognise my emotions. Taken loads of reading, watching people, learning to ask people to explain things to me….62! I still feel numb most of the time but with brain storming in a journal I can uncover what that feeling is I have in my body and give it a name.

[jencgold]

So nice to find someone else who has same thing. Such a relief. You are so brave and inspirational. You help me. Love and rainbows

[Rhonda-peaceandgratitude]

Thank you Tanja. You explained it perfectly. It was very easy to understand how you broke it down with example. Makes it more relatable. I love your videos and your amazing way of keeping it real in a personal lived perspective. Lots of love and rainbows.

[inthenebula]

I've been working on this for over a year now but this is the first time I went looking for others' experiences on alexithymia. Mine came from abuse and neglect throughout my isolated childhood. I want other people to know, too, that you can absolutely recover!

My experience was a bit different because I researched a lot of psychology, and became good at guessing which emotions I or another person was feeling. But a lot of the time, the guess was a bit off or didn't address the complexity of emotions, so I dealt with an immense amount of frustration and confusion. The best way to describe it for me is that the emotion would be out of the corner of my eye--I knew in a very unconscious way that it was something, but it was vague and impossible to focus on.

Now, I can tell something is happening; I can see it has a form, and often now I can understand and relate to others' descriptions of emotions. A lightbulb will go on, and I'll say, "OH, so this is what they were talking about!" I would often have guesses of what different emotions felt like, but they were usually off or oversimplified. I absolutely think this happened because I got all my emotional information from TV and movies during my very lonely teenage years. Something I see now when I watch movies is that they often sort of summarize emotional experiences and what is presented is a "between the lines" sort of thing where the full meaning is implied. I can suppose the subtext now, but it used to be impossible for me. The upside of this is that I actually enjoy movies and such now because I can see their thought process and state of emotions.

At this point I can identify most things as a feeling, and as different from other feelings; right now, the challenge is in descriptions! I never thought it would be this damn difficult to find the words to express what I'm feeling in the moment. But I know it will get better with practice, like the awareness of emotions happening did.

My life has already improved SO much now that I can tell I'm feeling something, and do my best to communicate it. It was horrible before when I couldn't express my distress or figure out what would help. Now I can tell people if I'm not feeling well or need something, and it makes a world of difference.

[aloalo]

I had no idea I was like this because how can u know what u never experienced or that there was even a deficit? Alexthymia explains it all

[dawnzimmermann]

Hi Tanja. I stopped speaking to my mother last year and I was so surprised at how my emotions were overwhelmed and of course, I couldnt experience the emotions. I have severe insomnia and only discovered Alexithymia last night. Im 54 and have known always that there was something wrong with my emotions. I finally worked through my grief in the middle of last year and I was so overjoyed, I thought my cptsd was mostky past.. In the past two weeks I have separated from my daughter who is now 28. Hving gone through so much grief last year and knowing how Im not able to deal well with my emotions, I thought I was handling it well. Then the twitching and wierdness began when I was meditating and after going intona panic about hving a phobia again, I realised it was my nervous system dysregulation and searching for ways to unwind myself, Im now doing research ...again. just when I think Iv finally got it, I get triggered and start again. I suppose there is relief in recognising justbhow tense I am and being able tonfind ways to deal with it to be honest, I am my own therapist. Therapists have ket me down terribly and I suppose only we ourselves can know how we do or dont feel. Thank you for your courage in making this video to help others like us. We should have a fb group for this. ❤️ Love and light on your journey

[mauricekoopman]

Anxiety was the hardest for me to iidentify as well. I never identified it as a matter of fact. I thought I suffered from depression until I read in the report I collected from the institution I was treated, that I mixed up depression with anxiety. At that point I must have been suffering from depersonalization for about 8 years and probably longer.

[TheForestCrone]

Therapist: "What are you feeling right now?" Me, visibly shaking with a trauma response: "Nothing. I don't know. Maybe I'm a little cold?" 🤣 I feel emotions from current events without a problem but can't feel emotions from previous traumas at all. And who would want to? Turns out that turning down trauma response emotions also turns down the feel-good emotions. It's a process but growth is where it's at. Thanks for this as I try to understand this diagnosis.

[thegenerouschild]

yes i find it hard to know whats wrong with me

[tarasapone]

I wonder when Tanja loved herself? She expressed herself very well from experience, Tanja is an excellent teacher & went through the same pain as me & I wonder if she even went through more or?
Everyone has to go through pain & this teacher happens to be excellent in sharing how she gets through it!😰

😂🤣Very well done😂🤣

[mi]

Did your emotional flashbacks reduce after you studied emotional inteligents?

[laralovegood]

Thank's a lot for sharing your experience with us! It really helps me, as I think my boyfriend has this traits. I actually did the Toronto alexithymia test with him and he scored pretty high. I can't diagnose him, I know that. I am struggling with that in our relationship a lot, as we can't have discussions (especially If i show emotions or when asking him how he feels about somthing). He's reacting strongly to that and just leaves. I tried to show him how important it is to recognise oneselves emotions and that he should Work on that. Unfortunately he does'nt See a problem with that. I really Love him, and I don't think I have the right to try and „change“ him, but I think ignoring this won't be good for him in the Long Run. Do you, as someone who knows how he feels, have any advice for me? Especially regarding him not seeing this „problem“ and not letting me help him? You can already imagine that he does'nt want to Talk to a psychiatrist/psychotherapist :(

[kiburisystem]

Yeah I do this! I can identify and explain emotions in literally everyone else (my other alter headmates included) but I can’t do it for myself! 😂 a year into therapy I can - mostly - reliably identify: happiness, sadness, loneliness, tiredness, pride, enthusiasm, worry, confidence and most recently actual anger which was a massive milestone 😁 usually everyone dissociates with anger (Alec is the only headmate who can handle proper anger) but here I am getting pissed off and standing my ground! Bloody marvellous haha - Jay

[tarafritzler]

I love ❤️ your videos ... please check out Dr Joe Dispenza.. he’s awesome 😎