Are You Stuck in The Sad Gap

I haven't run across a video that was so hard to fit into four minutes in a long time. There is a lot I want to say about this, and also a lot that I'm not 100% clear on. I don't know to what extent this is an artifact of the structure of people communicating and to what extent it is an artifact of the way the social internet is built.

I also think that there are some people who think that The Sad Gap is the honorable, correct place to be. As if you are a bad person if you get out of the place where you only feel hopelessness and outrage. I am, frankly, OVER THAT. I think it's making things much worse. I never thought it was the right thing to do and the moment I realized that other people did, I got very worried.

Anyway, it's taken me a long time to think about this stuff and articulate it and I am very curious about what other people think so please leave comments, I will be reading them voraciously.

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[eliontheinternet]

I feel like there has slowly been more pressure to care about all issues, all the time. I think the rise of knowledge of intersectionality has to do with it, as well as a rise in access to information. But I find personally it’s not realistic for me to be informed about all current events all the time, or even some of the time. So I have started choosing the issues that I care about most to dive deep into and really research, and I’m working on finding a variety of quality sources to help me form surface-level opinions on the rest.

[MarkThePage]

"It makes us depressed, anxious, and *easy to manipulate* ." Saying it louder for the people in the back! Even if you're outraged about all the right stuff, emotional energy is easily redirected into the wrong solutions (whether by a malicious actor, or simply being uninformed). I'm really loving Vlogbrothers's hard turn into secretly being a media literacy channel.

[Andrea-zbtp]

‘Panics are not that unusual’
Me, an anxiety ridden person: they sure aren’t

[barelygettinbyy]

This video reminded of this quote:
"If there is no great glorious end to all this, if nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.
All I want to do is help. I want to help because I don't think people should suffer as they do.
Because, if there is no bigger meaning, then the smallest act of kindness is the greatest thing in the world."

[sarasheffels]

This made me go back and rewatch your "Web of Care" video from a couple months ago. These concepts go hand in hand to model how an individual can go about caring and taking action in the world -- 1) being in the sad gap might feel like caring, but it is not inherently good or useful, 2) you can't cross the sad gap/care productively about everything, but you should aspire to cross the sad gap on a few things, and 3) you need to trust that other people are crossing the sad gaps in areas that you haven't chosen to focus on. I think the key here is not to go around telling people that the specific thing you care about is the most important and merits their attention, but instead to communicate that each person caring/crossing the sad gap on some aspect of their community's problems is essential. I think it would be cool if it were more culturally acceptable to ask "what does your web of care look like?" or "what do you do to make your corner of the universe a little bit better?" rather than "what do you do for a living?"

[aislinking]

Angry now because the doctors I’ve seen have just given up before finding a diagnosis. Y’all actually answered a question of mine on dear Hank and John from when the pain was just starting. Two years later I'm still in pain and getting weaker and no one can tell me why. Super discouraged but still trying to find a good doctor. Gotta have some hope I guess

[Maryam-mzjo]

IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW THAT YOU'VE NAMED IT i have been thinking about this as long as i've been on the internet and engaging with issues thank you for articulating it so beautifully :')

[ObjectsInMotion]

I am so happy this was not another video blaming social media or the internet for this problem. Its the internet that has allowed for knowledge of the world's problems to even be accessible to the global public in a way that was never possible before. We're just not all the way there yet into making sure this tool is used in a mostly healthy way, in the same way mass producing food was always a good idea, just took a while to realize the right ways of doing it.

[alicecarter]

you and your brothers videos consistently give me hope that the world isn't just bound to be terrible and that having hope for is a good and rational thing

[Andrea-zbtp]

Sometimes I find it hard to find places of hope, but then I remember your channel. Thank you both for all you do.

[ravennaprojects]

Hank is so good at articulating phenomenon on the internet, this is something I had been noticing and now I have a concrete way to think about it! Especially, as he notes in the description, an attitude that the righteous thing to do is stay in the sad gap and make memes to drag other people into the sad gap. Sad gap.

[sam-the-moomin]

It’s so frustrating to hear people who’ve given up when it comes to some of the topics you brought up in your list and then feel the need to encourage others to give up as well, and so I’m thankful for you both and this community that’s so positive and not willing to give up on these hard issues 🖤

[katemoulden]

I often find myself in the sad gap both with internal and external anxieties. One of the ways I have found out of this gap however is through talking to people. Being open and vulnerable with others about the sad gap, about what is going on, about my fear and hope and solutions and panic, that is how I have gotten through. I am not going to lie, it is not easy but I have found that through genuine connection I can get through the gap. So thank you to all of the Nerdfighters who have helped me through the gaps and thank you John and Hank for creating a space in which we can talk about our anxieties openly and for all that you both do. DFTBA

[alien]

There's a gap in my sadness thanks to this video:)

[GrayCatbird]

I really like the take that if something is due to “evil” than we cannot see it as an addressable problem as well.

[grimmgoosegoose]

I think this is a really apt way of describing that stuck feeling alot of my friends and I have. Me and my roommate both are dealing with depression and that added layer of hopelessness has lead us to creating some pretty small but direct ways of acting. One of the tried and true ways of getting out of depression (as cliche as it sounds) is to "do something for someone else". It doesnt always make everything instantly better, but the simple act of driving a friend to the doctor's office or helping my roommate make dinner or taking the time to write a letter to my friend helps get me out of that paralyzing state of despair. I feel like lot of times when people realize the scale of the problems we're facing, they jump feet first into "Rah Rah Raising Awareness!" and other big ticket ventures but when the going gets tough and they are burnt out they dont know how to keep going and they dont know what small things to do to help get them through the rut. I feel like a ton of the Sad Gap is people not understanding the little meaningful actions they cam take, even if its just to keep yourself going long enough to contribute. We all need to pitch in on the big stuff, no question there, but the direct action of reaching out and bolstering the people you see everyday has much more of an impact both personally and on the community than i feel like a lot of people really realize. Thats just my 2 cents tho, I am looking forward to hearing everyone elses perspective.

[jilliandjd]

this is strangely one of the most apt descriptions of what its like living with anxiety/depression and ad-hd for me. I get so lost in the anxious sad feelings that I have in anticipation of finishing a task/solving a problem that I simply stop myself from trying at all. I would love to know solutions to overcoming the sad gap!!

[omegafilming]

I'd just like to say that your videos for the past six or so years have been very reassuring. Thank you for doing this, Hank.

[carlarmstrong]

This video moved me from occasional viewer to subscriber because I hope to see this topic explored deeper.

I'm definitely in the sad gap though I did not have a term for it until now. I've been raging against my impotence to change the world for a month and a half now. I know the problem. I've dug deep into its causes and contributors. I just don't know what I can do besides donate a little money and complain.

[dragonflies]

Sometimes the things that help me the most with being in the sad gap are entirely unrelated to whatever the problem(s) is/are. It's experiencing happy moments, with good people, where I can enjoy the wonder of the world. It's experiencing a moment that is imperfect and beautiful and makes me feel at home and filled with wonder and like the future is real. Because this reminds me of hope. It reminds me that hope is both real and rational, that it is not a vague crossing of fingers but the certainty of what I already know - that life goes on. It reminds me that I have a future, and that the world is not crumbling but it is turning.