On Feeling Stuck

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Many of us feel ‘stuck’ - wishing we could escape a job or relationship, while being incapable of doing so. Coming unstuck involves examining unhelpful messages we internalised in childhood.


FURTHER READING

“Many of us spend a large a part of our lives, in one way or another, feeling stuck, that is in a state where a strong desire to move forward on an issue meets with an equally strong compulsion to stay fixed where one is. For example, we might at one level powerfully want to leave a job in finance in order to retrain in architecture – but at the same time, remain blocked by a range of doubts, hesitations, counter-arguments and guilty feelings. Or we might be impelled to leave our marriage – while simultaneously unable to imagine any realistic life outside it. To act feels horrific, but doing nothing is killing us as well. Every avenue appears shut off. And so one ruminates, turns over the question late at night, tries the patience of therapists – and watches life go by with mounting anxiety and self-disgust…”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Julia Marchowska

Title animation produced in collaboration with

Vale Productions
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"To act feels horrific, but doing nothing is killing us as well"

kepspark
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School of life happens to know exactly what I’m going through

jhuang
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Parents think that everything they do, they do it for their kids, when in fact they do it for themselves, because they see us as their continuation. They want their kids to have the same attitudes and the same outlook on life. That's why it hurts them to realize that we are very much different and distinct from what they expected us to be....

arevikshipshidi
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Currently reading “Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents” and this video falls in line with it perfectly. It’s all true. Parents are no saints. The majority of our parents are just unhealed children passing on insecurities and generational trauma to innocent children, us, and deeply stunting our emotional, mental and financial growth. Really sad if you fully understand what’s going on.

Can’t take the blame for my wounds but it’s my responsibility to heal them.

mak
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"watches life goes by with mounting anxiety and self disgust"

effinwalrus
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"We are stuck because we are being overly loyal to an idea of something being impossible generated in the distant past..." Such a well thought out video, and the animations do such a wonderful job of expression what it actually feels like to be stuck.

CassieWinter
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Everytime we give ourselves permission to try and confidently leaving the past behind without worrying about perfection, can release the 'stuck' and anxiety. May everyone here finds their freedom in living your dream life.

VerenaSatriani
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“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.”
 --Mark Twain

QuestionEverythingButWHY
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I was taught “you have to be realistic, your dreams won’t come true...” - I’ve been stuck for absolutely years, I’ve gotten so used to it now 🤷🏻‍♀️ 2019 was just awful, I suffered with debilitating depression, from loss after loss, this year was supposed to be better. I had so much hope on New Years Eve, I was going to start my own business, I never feel like that but I did. Then bam! since March everything has been a struggle again, I’m just so tired 😔

BSam
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Childhood will always have an impact to one's present.

jeandeanb
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It's also called learned helplessness. This stuckness arises when we subconsciously reinforce the feeling of incapability, just because in the childhood, we were told that we weren't not allowed to do something.

hamyle
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5:56 *"We may need to be disloyal to a way of being that protected someone we cared about or depended on, in order to start to be loyal to a more important person still: ourselves."* Indeed!

Cynthia-Landers
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“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
― Albert Einstein

QuestionEverythingButWHY
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I needed this. Every word, every phrase, every sentence, every enunciation, tone and timbre. I needed this video. Thank you for solving a huge problem for me. Thank you for giving me my answers. I will now work on me. The pain is already half gone just by listening and watching this video. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

ua
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Totally my childhood. This is a great eye-opener/reality check for me. I have felt tied to my parents hopes and fears my entire life. I'm 55 now. I still feel fearful to be the person who I really am.

tabriel
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Damn man you really explained my whole life, 20 years of pleasing my family for no reason.

trevorfranks
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I’m at this point in my life where I just question everything that’s been happening to me. I don’t know what I did wrong. I just want to feel like I’m actually on my path to success. I’m fed up of what if’s and constantly worrying about where my future will lead. Sometimes I get depressed especially seeing friends succeed. I want to be in that place too. It’s all too suffocating.

peipeixi
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Can't explain how much I related with this. Thanks for making this. It means so much to me

snowynight
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The more and more of these videos I watch, the more it seems like every problem we ever experience results from something in our childhood

fruitcasket
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This should be shown to all Asian families.

Nihilanth