How to heal your marriage after an affair - with Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith.

How do you rebuild trust after an affair? Do you even want to? When Adam Lane Smith worked as a marriage therapist, affairs were a top 5 reason couples came in for help. Many believed there was no way to get better. Now as an attachment specialist, Adam presents his years of experience treating couples who experience infidelity and how to best repair the damage. And not just get back to trusting each other like the affair never happened, but build a strong new marriage that improves on the first and allows no room for an affair to happen ever again.

If you've been cheated on, or if you're the cheating partner, you probably have questions. Why did this happen? What caused our marriage to get this bad? Is this ever going to get better? Should we get a divorce? Infidelity, both physical and emotional, can be devastating to both parties. Without blaming one side or the other for the whole issue, Adam Lane Smith presents a framework for couples to come back from an affair and build a stronger marriage than they had before. Because it's not enough to barely tolerate each other. If you want to stay together and make your marriage work, you need to rebuild it from the ground up to be healthier, happier, and more secure against affairs in the future.

This video is part of an ongoing series about attachment.

Cheating, affairs, infidelity. All words to describe a betrayal of trust. But many times, the partner who goes outside the relationship is just as surprised and hurt as the partner who got cheated on. The cycle of anger and questions burns them both out. If you don't know how to repair the damage, you circle in the rubble until you want to quit. But there's a way through this. By rebuilding trust, improving communication, changing the marriage attachment, and developing a healthier bond, the couple can come back from an affair to be stronger than they were before. Attachment specialist Adam Lane Smith can show you how.

#Attachment #AttachmentSpecialist #AttachmentTheory #AdamLaneSmith

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//Work 1 on 1 with Adam//

//Join Adam's attachment focused discord community//

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//Attachment book by Adam//

►Slaying Your Fear: A guide for people who grapple with insecurity.

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Other ways to find Adam:

[susanstewart]

Affairs happen and a marriage can be mended. But it will not be forgotten and their will always be some doubt in the back of the mind.

[shellyrenae]

Wow this guy knows exactly what he's talking about!!!! This is exactly how I feel right now

[cupcake]

If both partners have attachment issues then surely the relationship was only ever being driven through the core wounds. Any relating is only through the both core wounds. Healing of attachment wounds means you get two people who don’t know how to relate to one another anymore, since the fear is gone. Now they look with fresh healed eyes and often the relationship comes to an end.

[ac]

I just read the title as “How to heal your marriage (after an affair with Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith)” 😂

[marcusmagnificus]

How do you go back in a relationship after an affair? You don't. Cut loss and move on.

[vanessaclausen]

Adam, I understand this was two years ago when you put this video out. Wow, I think my wife and I really missed out on some important bullet points. I thought what you had to say was so on point I wished it was longer. We'd like to figure out if our marriage is worth saving. I've been completely horrible to my wife and she's put up with me, the saint. I'll look for more of your clips.

[MtuckerGoBlue]

So, what do I do when my wife's policy is basically her promising it'll never happen again, love bombing me to make up for it when she senses I'm hurting, but refusing to talk about it? About 6 years since her two-year string of emotional affairs and now she just goes about like life things are completely normal and I'm the crazy one for still hurting...

[DoritoWorldOrder]

If the recovery process doesn't go beyond the restitution phase and whatever is necessary to restore trust, on into the territory of the perpetrating party being able to ultimately get some kind of genuine visibility and understanding for the unmet needs that drove them to take the opportunity to get those needs met elsewhere, then no healing has taken place. Far too many people who succumbed in one moment of weakness to the attention and affection they weren't getting at home end up submitting themselves to a relationship that is then predicated upon them agreeing to sit on those same unmet needs in perpetuity.

[mark.e.p]

My wife had an affair, then cut it off after l found out. Then, after 2 years, he was in contact again. She saw him a few times. This time he throw his cards on the table. Said he loved her, she was gorgeous, best thing ever etc..He was tactile, l'm not. I don't believe in paying endless compliments and smothering my wife. My wife's father left when she was 11 years old. Work it out. She's decided again to be with me. Am l the mug? I'm not broken and a strong man. When is enough enough?

[tloo]

If your principals have been loyalty to your spouse and he cheats on you, how do you recover from that? How do you respect yourself if you take them back?

[edielove]

How do you heal your attachment wound if they leave you for the affair partner?

[maxsteven]

Can I get some good audiobooks on attachment evolutionary psychology and any other subjects that are good for a happy life

[monicazepeda]

Hi I’m a new subscriber, I love your content. Thank you for sharing your knowledge. I watched this video and now How do you start the process to find one’s emotional attachment? Do you have a video for that?

[MsKasiulenka]

Should the partner move out in case of infidelity if both parties are looking to heal.

[Dperfater]

What if the affair was 3-4 years ago. You no longer fight and actually have a very good relationship but it’s just not romantic at all. My husband had an affair that I BEGGED him to end and he didn’t - for a year. I stayed for the whole thing. I really feel I’m past it and no longer want to talk about it BUT we have kids. How do you end it with someone and keep your kids mental health intact??

[jonwander]

Out of curiosity, why do you think it is affairs are more common in the upper classes?

[Melody]

So even with affairs everything comes down to attachement.
And if you can't afford the attachement specialist (and your partner is not englisch-speaking) what than?

[kathyburns]

My husband has cheated at least 3 times that I know of, has a porn addiction, posted nude photos of himself on the internet. He’s gone to counseling and says he’s got his crap together and thinks everything should be fine. But it’s not ok for me to say I’m not fine.😢

[DispIeasedDog]

Mine has spent two years having secret affairs and plotting to get rid of me. Now we are six months out from me finding out and being kicked out and now she wants to reconcile. I want my old life back but she has done everything from moving one of the men in to replace me, told everyone we know I raped her, as well as withholding our children and even threw my pet turtle out. I just want to be able to believe that she isn’t just manipulating me to get out from under her new man because he doesn’t trust her since their relationship started under my nose. I am at a complete loss but want it fixed…

[husbandslockerroom]

@mark.e.p pray things work out. No need to smother but what is her love language and does she know yours? If she wants to stay married she needs to cut off the other “boy”. A real man would respect the marriage.