This is how I FIXED the marriage that...I BROKE.

My best marriage advice is that you can't fix something until you understand how it broke. After reading dozens of marriage books and spending thousands of dollars in marriage counseling, all I want is for people to somehow learn from my mistakes. I want people to realize that marriages require love and intimacy and friendship and trust and mutual respect to survive. Those are add on's, they are essential and they need to be present in both spouses for a marriage to function the way it was created to.

#marriage #relationships #divorce

[christinaheagy]

I started watching you because I thought you were funny, but found your lessons to be sincere. Now we know why. God bless you and your family.

[nicolewade]

That is why it makes you perfect to teach others. You lived and learned

[Ann-pnor]

you cannot get a severe narcissist to give his wife 15 minutes a day...so after 33 years, I didnt care anymore. I hate divorce, but I'm so much happier without being called every filthy name for no good reason. I am now trying to find myself and my self-esteem.

[sharonrice]

You verbalize facts in a way people can understand. No one shares these truths as clearly as you do. You’ve been trusted with much. Thank you for caring enough to share it with us. God knows we need it.

[hippiechick]

I am not Christian by any stretch of the imagination. But I love your conviction and your knowledge. The support you use from the Bible is much clearer and not politically motivated. Thank you.

[oscarcat]

Professional counsellor you may not be but spot on you are.

[cremebrulee]

I love that phrase - "the conversations that never happen". You have used it in several of your videos, and it strikes me every time. We tend to think that it's what is said that destroys the relationship, when the exact opposite is so often the greater destroyer.

[brandoncole]

Brother I’ve nearly come to tears finding your channel and learning from you. I’ve been a follower of Christ through my whole marriage but found my wife disconnecting and using language I didn’t understand to describe problems. Finally I set out a year ago to improve myself to do something different, I started reading books I thought I never would read because it was self improvement material, listening to podcasts that weren’t exactly Christian. I thought I was fading in my relationship to God because of how much I was learning from this material I was consuming not untill recently did I realize it was the opposite I was finding who I am being convicted of the person I am in relationships and was finally able to define my problems and what is love and also deal with trauma. Then I find your channel, your filling in all the gaps of my understanding and speaking things that I needed to hear more than anything. Thank you.

[jimcordell]

I remember when my wife said she wanted a divorce seven years ago, someone else told me that if the divorce happens, it will completely screw up my holidays.
I love Christmas time with my family. I love Thanksgiving time with my family. And I didn't want to lose it. So that's what motivated the changes in me. And now my wife says she's very happy with our marriage.

[Dee-ceqm]

I still struggle at times, 15 years after my husband had an affair. I struggle with letting my heart be vulnerable. My husband grew up in a very dysfunctional home filled with abandonment. He grew up relying on himself and nobody else. And so as long as he was happy, that's all that mattered. And our marriage was built on that premise. We have 4 beautiful children and three grandchildren. They deserve a legacy void of this nonsense, and that's why I continue to not give up.

[marathongirl]

Jimmy you may not be a therapist but your advice is spot on and better than any therapist I've ever been too. I have been married for many years and am in the process of divorce. I told my ex multiple times that putting other things and people before your wife constantly, feels like a betrayal, just like cheating! Instead of listening he gave a contemptuous sneer. He's no longer laughing now that we're in divorce court.

[rebeccabamford]

When I found out my ex husband was having an affair, when I was pregnant with our third child, 12 years of marriage, I remember directly asking him if when the first time he got into bed with her, didn’t alarms as go off in his head? Didn’t it feel odd or wrong to sleep with someone else out of the marriage? He just looked at me and said no. That was heart crushing. And so cold I felt it right through my soul. He had been upset about the third baby. A girl after two boys and wanted me to end the pregnancy. Which I wouldn’t do. Unfortunately she died a few years later in a car accident along with my second husband. I don’t even know if her death affected him. I think some people aren’t really cut out for marriage or being a parent.

[alexacarrillo]

What I have figured out after 23 years of marriage is people don’t necessarily grow apart but that as the wife I took care of all the family stuff and didn’t get to grow(it took all my time) where he cheated on us with his constant new hobbies. I was boring, always available, and nurturing other people. I feel stunted and am now starting to fight that with new hobbies and with the kids in college we found a mutual hobby that is helping us grow together. We followed old cycles we learned in childhood and are only now due to social media and the kids calling us out are working to break those cycles. The worst part is we did marriage therapy off and on for 10 plus years and not one therapist pointed out what seems obvious now.

[AnthonyJohnny]

I wish I would have found your content sooner. I destroyed my relationship and these videos of yours are teaching me things I was so blind to. Love requires you to deal with the others conflicts and feelings. Because the destruction that happened to their hearts in the passed, cannot be avoided for the sake of peace. 😢

[chrismerryman]

I realize your faith is a huge part of your life (not an anti-religion post, I promise) and a huge part of how you worked through your issues but I’m not religious and have troubling relating to that.

However, your advice and knowledge learned through mistakes and self-educating are incredibly on point and I am so glad I found your page and will continue to follow. Hearing and seeing everything I am going through from someone else who can put say it concisely and with humor has been beyond cathartic, reassuring, and validating.

I just wish there was a way to simultaneously relate to something non-religious for those who can’t connect on that level.

Thank you for your page, your openness, and ability to relinquish toxic masculinity in favor health and happiness, and to then share with others your discoveries.

[lorenwegele]

Thank you! I cheated my wife with work, myself, and things I felt I felt I needed to do on our property. I fully intend to change that. God had to put me on my back too

[stacypeasall]

Thank you for including your faith in your video. This is the first time I knew this about your journey.

[emihometreefarms]

Thank you for sharing this! I'm sure it was difficult to share this publicly. I'm praying for you and your wife. Also thankful that God helped restore your marriage (and probably answered the prayers of both you and your wife)!

[ttttenney]

One of the greatest gifts God has given his children, is the opportunity of repentance, which is a positive, not a negative. Now I work to both forgive and ask for forgiveness from my wife of 25 years.

[lauramorris]

I love that you are a believer. My husband and I have been together 34 years in April and married 29 in July. We are going through a lot of what you talk about. I have learned to no cry about stuff because it makes him uncomfortable, now I feel uncomfortable if I cry, I am a huge people pleaser and empath. I try to fix everything! So much, I am now in counseling trying to fix me. My husband is in counseling as well, for different reasons, but is also working on being a better husband. God has done some wonderful things with my husband, and we are getting closer. Thanks for your videos. God bless you and your family.