Parental Alienation: 10 Toxic Tactics You Need to Know About

Unfortunately millions of children all around the world are being alienated from a parent. In this video, we'll be exploring the 10 toxic tactics that narcissistic parents often use to psychologically manipulate and alienate their children from the other parent. Note: This video is Part 1 of 3 videos on this critical and complex issue.

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About Lise Leblanc
Lise Leblanc is a Therapist, Life Coach Practitioner, and Author with over 20 years of experience in therapeutic, educational, and leadership roles.

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DISCLAIMER: THE INFORMATION IN THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED NOR IMPLIED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, DIAGNOSIS OR TREATMENT. Lise Leblanc does not provide personalized psychological, health, or legal advice. Any information or responses provided on YouTube are general and hypothetical, not individualized. This content is for informational purposes only and viewers should verify primary sources and/or seek professional services. Narratives about clients are heavily modified to protect their identities, using blurred details to teach and reassure without revealing private information about individuals.

If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:

Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately.
Call a suicide hotline number. In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) In Canada: 1.833.456.4566
Call your mental health provider, doctor or other health care provider.
Reach out to a loved one, trusted friend.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR MENTAL HEALTH CARE.

Introduction (0:00)
An Example (0:49)
What is Parental Alienation? (2:00)
#1 Bashing and Blaming (4:13)
#2 Punishing for Speaking Positively (4:56)
#3 Using as an Emotional Crutch (5:16)
#4 Interfere with Communication (7:11)
#5 Undermine Your Authority (7:37)
#6 Block Access to Information (7:51)
#7 Lies and Fabricating Stories (8:12)
#8 Loyalty Binds (8:56)
#9 Creates Competition (9:30)
#10 Manipulation and Isolation (10:20)
Conclusion (10:46)

#NPD #covertnarcissist; #narcissism #narcissistic #parentalalienation

[jamalmobley]

Miss Lisa. This is the worst experience I’ve ever been in my entire life. These disorders are a cancer to so many lives 😢

[uweellinghausen]

This is so true, as if you describe my wife. It all started, or became noticed to me, when our boys where about 8 and 10 years old. For example, we set rules to allow the boys to play on their Xbox for an hour a day each. This was quickly undermined by my wife to offer them another hour playtime in return for a feet massage. This conduct was followed by occasions of whispering that suddenly stopped when I came too close to them. It has basically gone so far that almost any decision in our household will be made among my wife and our boys, who are now in their early twenty. This abuse, and many other kind of abuses and disrespect, has gone so far that I finally discarded my wife after a 37 year long relationship. This decision was not easy but I could see no other option in order to regain some self-respect and try my best to heal from decade long mental and emotional abuse.

[chrystalkral]

Unfortunately, you've nailed it. One tactic I would add is constantly validating the child that they are empowered to make decisions regarding choosing one parent over the other. Regardless of court order, telling the child that as they get older, they should have the right to decide, especially after years of manipulation. That the other parent is the one trying to control them by not listening to the child's wants and needs, even when that child says to the alienated parent that they actually dont want to choose. They will speak on behalf of the child often, adding them to group messages with the other parent, to show how they (the alienating parent) arr trying to "protect them" from the alienated parent.

[aca]

I've seen these techniques used by glitter family "I'm your mom now" types too. "You're not safe with your parents who aren't affirming your new identity, which you haven't even told them about, and they'd surely reject you if you did." Plant unwarranted seeds of doubt and fear, and then use that fear as evidence that they need to estrange from their unsuspecting parents.

[etiennedelaunois]

Thank you so much!! Thank you to recognized how we can suffer as much as women being abused.

When we lose our children we are suffering the same, when we are being hit we are suffering the same as women.

When we are manipulated by a narcissist, we are suffering as much!

Your channel is gold! I think people like you will help to reduce the number of men suicide every day around the western world!

Thank you so much for working hard for us!

[runs_with_wolves_]

Wow! It’s like you just told my story. This happened to me on both ends from my own mother against my estranged father with me in the middle and with my daughters Mom with my child against me. I still don’t know my Dad very well and my now adult kid won’t even talk to me. It’s messed up, but it is what it is. Thank you for your insightful and amazing content. 🙏 You’re the best!

[yaya]

Even before our separation, my ex used every disagreement (and there were many BECAUSE of her behavior) to drive a wedge between me and the kids. She'd brutally criticize me - even though I was doing everything I could for them - then play victim of my 'anger issues' when I tried to defend myself. I wasn't allowed a different opinion without being called 'mean'. Couldn't walk away from arguments (for the kids' sake) without being followed, shouted at, and called 'selfish'. Then came the tears and the accusations that I don't care for her - or for my precious children. It was literally like living in a madhouse. Reality was upside-down. When I finally announced it was over... that's when the real hell began. Especially for the kids, who were told all manner of filth about me: I drank, I did drugs, I stole her money, I didn't care if they starved, I flirted with friend's wives, I couldn't cook, my home was creepy... and on. She switched our custody schedule regularly, made plans for the kids on my time (then said I didn't care about their happiness), refused to let them talk to my family, and never once allowed a Christmas on Christmas Day with me and my family. Because that wasn't the kids' 'tradition'. My eldest son especially (8 when we split) suffered the worst from this abuse. Started doing drugs, then selling as he became more horribly addicted. The effects Lise discusses are a real concern. Be good to your kids! Another commenter here said 'think, think, think' before you react to your ex/partners' abuses, lies etc. They depend on your anger. Don't give it to them.

[alphonsejohansantelices]

This is whats going on with me right now & my daughter. My daughter is with her. Its my wife thats the narcissist. Sometimes my child doesn't obey me. Your explanation is helpful to me. I want to know more. I hope the worst won't come.

[belindakaylani]

Thank you so much. Narc ex daughter in law is damaging my grandson & my son. It’s traumatizing & affected my grandson, son& made heinous accusations about me. Stoping to the lowest levels. My son, who endured 14 years, is suffering & trying to make sense thinking she’ll change. Sad.

[robertovss]

My narcissistic ex wife, did this with my kids. First contact stopped with me, then it was my mother also. Not seen my kids for 14 years now. I am hoping my kids will come look for me.
@4'15 she used to belittle me, humiliate me if I messed coffee due to hand tremors, calling me stupid, mentally ill, failure and an imbecile.
She accused me of everything.
I was never informed when my daughter broke her arm, changed the kids school without informing.
Thank you so so much for this video Lise. I appreciate this. You have described my narcissistic ex wife to the T! I am not pushing for contact, it is down to the kids to decide.

[hookemro]

This is happening to me right now, and it feels like nobody in divorce law cares that it's occurring. I live in Texas...

[ericadiehl]

This describes my boyfriend's ex to a T. She's encouraged them to take pictures and videos of us in our home. My boyfriend said she used to make it hard for him to talk to his mom when they were together. She would hear that he had talked to her and would immediately start harping about how his mom was so terrible. Eventually he stopped calling his mom because it was easier to not take that 10 minute phone call vs. Having to hear her complain for a half hour or more.

[nairadevi]

For me, the abuser tried to alienation me from my dead parents by saying awful things about them in an effort to make me like them more. I never liked them at all and it goes worse with the parental alienation efforts.

[mattbrock]

I’m going to post this on my Facebook page. My son has just recently started looking at my social network pages after thinking for years that I “left because I didn’t love him” and even most recently believing me to be dead. She won’t allow my mom to even see him if she mentions me at all, has any pictures of me anywhere or acknowledges my existence in any way. My only sibling, my brother, just recently passed away. He never got to meet my son a single time. He’s 16 now.

[oceanexploration]

OMG this is EXACTLY what my wife of 20 years is doing at this very moment to the letter!!! I was so close to both my kids, son almost 19 and daughter 16. They won't even talk to me after 1 month of manipulation by my soon to be ex wife. This extended to her mother, my parents, and all my close friends. The literally separated my kids from me and controlled the narrative. Lies. Horrific. I can't even talk to them now to correct the script. This is so scary, verbatim of what I am going through now.

[theTurqoiseseahorsetarot]

It is really hard to go through this and know the right things to say to your child when they ask you questions.

[brandonk]

I'm living this hell x2 exs I attracted and fell into a trap with. Now my children and I just suffer. Its a terrible covert abuse that has gone unnoticed by society.

[coloringcloud]

Thank you so much for your video!! It really helps me understand what my daughter has gone through! You are the help that God sent!! May God’s and my love for her and help her in this situation! 🙏🏼

[Aotearoa.]

Good information learn more every time thank you

[bgp]

After a childhood of disgusting abuse, My mother abandoned me a long time ago. I haven’t seen her in well over 10 years.
It’s only something I think about when I think about the woman I want to start a family with.
I only spoke of my relationship with her once with my gf, because I do not want her to overthink my behaviors. Every day is a struggle, and I do not want mess up.
The hardest part is the self-doubt. It’s crippling sometimes
I don’t hate my parents