He Cheated On Me - 3 Things I Wish I Knew After He Cheated

There are about 1000 things I wish I knew after he cheated or wish I did differently, but for today, I'll stick to the top three.

1. It's not my fault he cheated.
We immediately think about all that we lack after we find out they cheated: I'm not pretty enough, sexy enough, I didn't listen enough... But I am here to tell you that you are enough. Did you hear me? You are enough. I can be lonely, depressed, unsatisfied, bored, you name it and still choose to be faithful. So, don't put their choices on you. You did not choose to cheat. This was not your fault.

2. Don't hide from the pain.
I wasted away for three long, terrible years trying to hide and run from the pain. No matter what you choose to cover up the pain, it is still there waiting. The pain will affect your physical body. I had headaches, neck and back pain. The pain will affect your friendships and your children. The pain shows up and takes us out in the form of anxiety and panic attacks. Move through the pain instead of trying to move over the pain. Trust me, this is easier in the long run.

3. You have to actually heal.
Boo! No one told me I would have to focus on myself! I was so focused on trying to get help for my cheating husband and desperately trying to fix our marriage after adultery. I never stopped and tried to find help for myself. Shoot, I didn't know I needed help! Did you know you have to heal from all this crap? (Of course, you did! That's why you are here. Good.) Allow yourself to heal, make time for your healing, find help and guidance. I wasted away for three years and I just can't stomach that all that pain was for nothing! I really can't bear to think that someone else may be doing the same dumb crap I did. This is why I do what I do at After the Affair. This is my purpose. I got the best of the best therapists together and we recorded affair recovery videos going over the most important things you need to know to start healing.

In 8 weekly videos we will cover topics like: trauma recovery, creating a support system, grief, PTSD, boundaries, reactions, reality, flashbacks, depression, anxiety and fear.
For each subscription, we give away a subscription to those in need.
Members can watch recorded videos when their schedule allows and as often as they would like.

[geniedutoit]

It has been nearly 2 years now and I am still triggered by events and dates. Anxiety and depression is part of my life and I wish I know how to make it go away forever.

[michellefreeman]

My husband cheated on me over ten years ago. I already suffered from severe depression, anxiety, and self hate. The pain is still there as strong as ever. I wish I had never met him because the pain he put me through wasn't worth it.

[MariaSanchez]

It’s crazy how I could relate so much to you. I found out my boyfriend of 7yrs was cheating on me. I have a 4yr old and a 1month old baby during the time and finding out he was having a relationship with someone at work was the hardest thing ever. I’m still healing it been 4 months and it hasn’t gotten any easier. Thank you for your advice.

[carljohnson]

I’m “stuck in pain”
Wife had a 6 year affair.
It’s been 2 years, and I can’t move on.
Paralyzed.
I want something different than this.
I’m so tired of living like this.

[michelleschatz]

Thank you, I am in all 3 of these modes. After 28 years of marriage my husband had decided to start seeing someone else. I need to focus on me and my healing.

[raeannaroylance]

During our 6th pregnancy, day after Easter Sunday, found out my Dr. husband was having an affair with a nurse
1 1/2 years later on Father’s Day he asked for a divorce
Totally chopped off at the knees
Betrayal trauma is real
But through the pain is the only healthy way
I learned unbelievable things about myself as I went through it
It was as intense, as painful, and as full of pressure as natural childbirth
🙏prayers🙏 and much ❤️love❤️ to anyone unfortunate to have a chair at this table😞

[cheyennehartin]

My husband has been cheating on me but says he dosent know why...it's been eating me up inside.

[Lczzy]

It is about respect. A cheater chose to disrespect you and your relationship. Thrre is no relationship if there is no respect.

[eleseclarke]

I'm so scared now after reading all these comments i really hope my partner doesn't cheat on me 😢

[PhoenixRhapsody]

I knew my ex girlfriend for over a year but we started dating 6 months ago. I found out she cheated on me yesterday from one of her friends with someone she met 2 weeks ago. It so sad she told me she hated her dad because he cheated on her mom. I struggled with social anxiety so I never dated anyone in my life. I over came my anxiety 2 years ago. What she did to me has made me to never fall in love again. I have decided I will stay single for the rest of my life. My life was always better when I was just alone.

[zoeyc]

My husband was a principal and cheated with a teacher who was also married. I’m having anxiety and depression.

[mrs.chavez]

Wow I was also
Cheated on after having our second newborn and with a 3 yr old - thank you for this video

[fairnessall]

I was cheated on by a Muslim Ghanaian he almost ended my life, I've never dated since... My favorite 7 words I Don't Date, GOD is My Happiness 😊.. It's been over 3 yrs I still don't trust any man. Even if you meet someone they are 9 times out of 10 a Devil in sheep's clothing... Most lie about who or what they want... You will never be good enough, I never want to feel like I'm NOTHING EVER AGAIN 💔

[rp]

I just winder sometimes is it worth getting involved in the first place. Stay single. Its a rarity today for people to practice monogamy. These people that cheat then oh but, then they are so sorry bs.

[AlbertBodie]

My wife cheated with a coworker about 3 years ago and I have not gotten over it. Found out a year ago more happened than she originally admitted. She has refused to do the work and had disrespected my boundaries. She has a just get over it attitude but she put me through hell. I still love her and we’ve been together for 20 years. I don’t know what I should do or if it’s even worth saving at this point?

[AnitaSharma-qvow]

Thank you for telling me that I am enough yes it's not my fault.

[eleanortrinidad]

I'm stuck 6 years soo traumatized.

[HAHA-kkxy]

Honestly it's because some people just suck

[ashleymarie]

Telling yourself you didn’t do anything wrong if you are mean and neglectful to your husband is a lie. The only thing he shouldve done first is separate before starting a new relationship.

[chicajimenez]

Wow, I happen yo run into this video!!! My question is, why do women let this happen if they know they are married!