Biochemistry of Avoidant Attachment Style | Adam Lane Smith

In this video, we will explore the world of the avoidant attachment style with The Attachment Specialist, Adam Lane Smith.

Adam delves into the deep-rooted challenges faced by individuals who struggle to feel loved and build fulfilling relationships. Discover the science behind avoidant attachment styles and learn how to overcome these issues to experience the joy of genuine connection.

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Chapters:

00:00 Introduction
00:56 The Prevalence of Avoidant Attachment
02:11 Understanding Avoidant Attachment
03:23 Fear and Conflict
04:35 Avoidant Behavior in Relationships
06:14 Biochemistry of Avoidant Attachment
07:04 Oxytocin - The Warmth of Connection
07:36 GABA - Stress Reduction
08:22 Vasopressin - Problem Solving
08:47 Serotonin - Social Connection
09:24 Dopamine - The Constant Craving
11:15 Decline of Connection in Avoidant Individuals
12:48 The Fixable Nature of Avoidant Attachment
15:03 Questions on How to Fix Avoidant Attachment
16:17 The Process of Opening Up
17:28 Switching from Survival Mode to Opportunity Mindset
19:23 The Fulfillment of Secure Relationships
20:16 A Message for Avoidant Individuals

Key Topics:

The Science Behind Avoidant Attachment
Overcoming Childhood Roots of Avoidant Behavior
Understanding the Impact of Secure Relationships
The Role of Brain Chemicals in Avoidant Attachment
The Transformative Journey from Avoidant to Secure Attachment

#avoidantattachment #secureattachment #attachmentissues #buildingconnection #attachmenttheory #adamlanesmith

[AttachmentAdam]

The HOW TO LOVE AN AVOIDANT MAN video course is now available!

[Doors_of_janua]

Guys and gals… I think I did it. I broke through.. I opened myself up.. held nothing back.. showed myself totally. And she stills loves me. To resist now would be continuing a very old cycle.. ready for love ❤

[vmmell]

When watching for the first time I had to pause the video several times, to take a breath. So many overwhelming realizations.

[stolensilver]

I really enjoyed this. I have never had a safety net at any time in my life that I have not built myself. I can remember several seemingly tiny inconsequential events in my life which gave me a great feeling and I always wondered why that was. They all involved virtual strangers doing something kind for me - one is as silly as a person opening a can of drink for me when my hands were full. I suppose when you have lived your life in a desert any sips of water are forever memorable.

[NicholasPR]

I feel very called out right now. I've had to rewatch this video a few times to let this wash over me and accept it

[Sofiarey]

This is the greatest video I've seen on avoidant attachment. Nobody else explains the physiological reasons behind it.

My best friend is avoidant and I've noticed the most effective way I've helped him was becoming secure myself. I was initially anxious with him (with other anxious people I lean avoidant), but I've worked to become secure. I noticed from my behavior change how he is also changing. When I express emotion to him (securely), before he would disappear for a couple of days (sometimes I would use this to my advantage when I needed breaks or to be alone), but I've noticed that away time got less and less. Then it was only a day of no contact, and now it's the same day. I was surprised at first when I said something from emotion and he asked to hang out the same day.

One of the hardest parts to get over from an anxious perspective when "dealing with" an avoidant friend/partner is realizing that if I'm not available to them, they won't disappear or forget about me. Which is really silly to think about when secure, because who is available all the time? Anyway, I'm rambling.

[LSGO]

I really enjoy your delivery and your sense of humor. I’ve been learning a lot about attachment, mostly from Thais Gibson but you are definitely a breath of fresh air, in the way you express things and your actionable steps to be better. Great work.

[ShaneJoshua]

You are the first person on here to get and understand that not all avoidants are evil. I grew up in a household with domestic violence, my stepfather was volitile and my mother whilst she did her best was inconsistent. I learnt to behave, people please and look after myself.

In relationship i completely get that 6/7 month thing of not being happy since i got divorced and i truly wonder whether I have ever been in love.

I'm in therapy and realise how this effects me. I want to love and feel im deserving of love too.

[solutionstenants]

Wow Adam Thank you for doing this video on the Neuro chemistry of Avoidant personality. This explained so much to me as I was dating an Ex Military man who is now a Sheriffs deputy. The man had some thick walls and was emotionless. I am an anxious (INFJ) and it was I was not a good fit for him at all as he kept telling me I was too needy when I wanted to take a walk with him or just snuggle while we watched TV. He was an escape artist.!

[aamu]

Your channel becomes like my medicine. Every time I feel a bit abandoned feeling, I come here and listen and it make be better😂

[jr]

As someone who recently came out of a relationship with a DA, this has really validated not only what I experienced, but also validated my understanding of him. It made me sad that he didnt understand himself. I tried so hard to help him, that I almost completely neglected myself. In the end when we broke up, he told me I was the cause of everything, and everything is my fault. He always spoke of himself as a highly confident person, but now I understand that its quite, in fact, the opposite.

Thank you.

[manro]

I’m a cbt therapist this is absolutely brilliant! So exposing, reminds me of when I do longitudinal formulations with patients just light bulb moments

[argoknot]

Of all the discussion on Avoident Attachments, this is by far the most helpful in terms of what's going on under the hood.

While others are talking about "feelings", this is what is actually driving those feelings and what practical actions can be taken to address them.

Thank you for sharing this.

[AspieGamer]

As someone on the Autism spectrum who definitely has an avoidant attachment style, along with childhood trauma and many years of abuse. I need help, I'm 38 and feel my soul is pushing me to get past all this.

[kuiwanguistephanie]

Adam, I like that you are direct and stern yet thoughtful and understanding

[thecloser]

Started watching videos on Avoidant attachment about 2 months now. I actually found everyone else first. But your videos are not only helpful but inspire hope also.

[ASaTraveler]

Hi Adam! Thanks for these very educational video. Could you please do a video on how to recover from a relationship with avoidant attachment? It can be a shocking and traumatizing experience if you've only been in relationships with secured people all your life.

[robbriggs]

This all sounds wonderful, people only love what you do for them and what they can get from you, not you as a person. I've never met a single person I could trust in that way to build a secure attachment. I tried a couple of years ago with somebody and they have actively tried to destroy me and my life. I have many friends and family who i adore but they all put their own feelings first and over react to everything... I have 3 daughters, I just don't want them affected by me xx

[Pasha.Redfeather]

Praise God!! This alchemy is being shifted in the greater collective as we speak. In the light of divine love, we are finding each other in our pain and healing.❤️‍🩹 ❤

[DarenHarmon]

Always felt like everyone on YouTube talked with a negative frame about Avoidant’s. You sir are spot on and to the point with the avoidant attachment style.