Borderline Personality Disorder in 15 Minutes and 10 Questions

Identity disturbance (unstable identity, fragile sense of self)

Emptiness, false self, fantasy defense.

External regulation

Impaired reality testing (e.g., paranoia, overestimation of intimacy like in HPD), psychotic microepisodes

Self-harm, suicidal ideation, self-destructive cognitions and actions: self-punitive, silence internal turmoil, call for help, feeling alive (dead inside)

Recklessness, impulsivity, secondary psychopathy

Emotional volatility, affective lability, emotional dysregulation (DBT): anger, reactive mood shifts and changes

Intense interpersonal relationships involve idealization-devaluation (relational disorder)

Twin anxieties: abandonment/rejection-engulfment/intimacy, approach-avoidance repetition compulsion

[fattounaish]

This man is offering a lot to humanity

[lisaproustresearch]

1) unstable identity (wishes, values, etc change)
2) emptiness (void sense of self like narcissists & might be a response to narcissists)
3) uses external agents for regulation & validation
4) impaired reality & overestimate depth of relationships (projects like narcissists)
5) prone to self harm by using substances & suicide (main cause of death for diagnosed individuals) due to lack of self love or to distract from internal chaos
6) reckless (but unlike narcissists will have guilt) & emotionally dysregulated (lots of anger & rage)
Like narcs will do idealization & discard with separation & intimacy issues (don't leave but if you are present is suffocating).
Difference vs narcs: can be diagnosed at 12 years & can be treated, while narcs at age 18 & not treatable
Easy to take offense & drama is present
Highly emotional, sexual, empathic

[TheMary]

I have worked on my borderline tendencies for years and I have to say I'm so much better. The anger is a hard one to battle. I feel I have a very quick rush to judgement about people. But after a lot of work, I spot my own behavior and can correct it. I know this is not very popular as a resolution, but prayer and returning to faith helped me immensely. Studying the stoics, also. Self-reflection (honest) is key. I decided 20 years ago not to have any more romantic relationships and that works for me. I am very comfortable being alone.

[charlesbauer]

There is someone in my life that has BPD. Thank you for helping me understand her behavior. It has helped me know how to deal with her in our relationship.

[loraliecataldi]

You’re the absolute BEST Sam!!! I was in special Ed nearly my entire academic career from 2nd to 12th grade. On the autism spectrum with many of the comorbidities that come with it. Even more tragic having been raised by two malignant covert narcissistic parents as I did not receive any interventions and was simply a burden to them both. The shame and self loathing I developed led to an early onset of clinical mental illness by age 9 but again, with no intervention or treatment. You have helped me to understand and make sense of my entire life, my sick and evil parents and how I became the way I did. I haven’t gotten a formal diagnosis of BPD but I highly suspect I am. Thank you for making all this complex information understandable for the lay person like myself. ♥️💕

[XandrChas]

I was recently diagnosed, finally, with BPD. I've since learned that I've likely had it for several years (it manifested in teens, my highschool years were the worst of my life)
I can honestly thank your videos for helping me towards an official diagnosis, as I had studied PDs for a long long little bit now (I like psychology) and at first was in denial of having BPD- such big denial I had an episode for like 3-5 days lol! And yours and other psychiatrist's videos have greatly helped me to come to terms with and understand I'm not a monster - just severely traumatized and hurt from a lifetime of trauma and that many people just like me are just as deserving of love and help! PLEASE keep doing what you do!!

[Henort_]

My childhood seemed blissful, it was amazing and I always had everything… but there was something dark to it. I don’t remember that. I remember blurred, unrealistic flashbacks and strong, frightening emotions of those dark moments. As if there was bliss and hell at the same time. I remember screams and crying. I remember the void black emptiness I felt after every quarrel with my mom, even tho I don’t even remember what we were quarreling about. I remember there were two moms, I remember myself saying that. One was highly blissful, loving and caring. The other one was vengeful, hateful and ready to hurt anyone in order to get what she needed. I remember her strong, killing anger she would present to me, but I don’t remember any details of it. Just that it was something bad… I felt lonely, so desperately lonely. I developed mistrust. I felt so empty… as if there was a hole inside me… I began to run, to escape that horrible emptiness, to escape that horrible place called myself. I kept running, running and running. I ran into drugs, I ran into unhealthy relationships, trying so desperately to make them become something different that what I experienced. Being hopeful for that… but it never happened. The emptiness was pursuing me as if it was always there, sometimes I wouldn’t see it. Sometimes I forgot about it, but it was always there… I am now trying to face it… but it’s so desperately agonizing, harming and scary… I keep feeling as if even tho I have lived and learnt so much throughout so many years, I were still this hurt, unaware child…

[msmb]

Brilliant video Sam! Waiting for the similar one about narcissism. Thank you ❤

[dianewi]

Thank you for this video! It was a great reminder that there is redemption for the borderline, and not the narcissist. My older sister is borderline, and my younger sister is a narcissist. And together they are quite the challenge for me to keep my sanity! But you help me by letting me know that my older sister, definitely does the old love and empathy, even though my younger sister controls her. It’s been a crazy ride! But I appreciate your educating me.

[kris_ty]

This is everything I feel. Omg I'm glad you condensed it so I can share it with others! Thank you

[elisal]

I never had a normal close friend that was not either bpd or narcissistic, that's why I am alone. I find most people boring and with no character other than being an energy drain, immature or insufferable to some degree.

[rhondakmccoy]

After years of marriage to my ex husband I became very suicidal until I divorced him and realized a lot of things you have taught me. Also I realized that suicide doesn’t end my pain it only changes my environment to a place I am not able to understand or control. After all, what comes after suicide is unknown.

[CoachShannonOCR]

Although BPD and narcissists are very similar and have a lot of the same traits, I also think they are opposites because narcissists don't really have empathy and don't really care about other people and only care about themselves and their gratification and what they can get out of it while BPD patients extremely care about other people and constantly worry about how they're making other people feel and feel terribly guilty and regretful for the way they treat ppl

[elizabethguzman]

Having bpd is a blessing in disguise! If you know how to control the Paranoia so it doesn’t trigger your psychosis and can control your anger. You are set!!

[Healing]

You are right. I do have multiple personalities. I have outsourced my emotions. I use others to regulate my emotions. Most of the things you said is applicable in my case. I am a diagnosed BPD

[LeonardoDiLorenzo-cm]

Being in a relationship with a ADHD diagnosed person was one of the biggest traumas of my life. 2 years of PTSD followed. I didn't know anything about personality disorders back then. I later realized she was Borderline and possibly a Histrionic type. Thank you Prof. Vaknin.

[pupper]

What an impressive Speedrun by Professor Vaknin!

[billybobson]

Somehow all the cluster B personality disorders are insanely similar. I've been diagnosed twice with Aspd with psychopathic traits, but they told me iam a psychopath, but I can relate to many of the points listed here. It's just more outwardly derived instead of inward. Is it just overlap, or can you have both? I know that I just don't have certain feelings and I can live with that... I have to. I don't suppress them, sometimes there's just nothing there. And yet I still feel insecure about it, even though people always say that psychopaths are so hardened. But that's not how I feel.
The superiority complex is there, but I suppress it most of the time because I know it doesn't go down well. Then many people say that psychopaths have no fear, but I don't feel that way either. I am often highly sensitive to dangerous situations, which feels like fear to me. In your video about the myth of the anxiety-free psychopath, you also explain that an anxiety disorder is always present. But many other not "selfstyled" experts say that there is absolutly no fear. I can relate more to your statement, but its still confusing. Ask one question, get three diffrent answers.

Maybe I was just misdiagnosed and have some other bs, or maybe i am too unaware of my insight. Well, at the end of the day I know I have to be careful how I treat people and try to stick to Kant and ask myself, am I doing it for my own end?

If you bothered to read it, you'll get a new word from me based on your statement that you like German words: lebensmüde

[gantzfanatic]

im bpd and I have worked through many of my faults. I still carry some, but the ones that pervented me from being civil and hurting others over dumb shit has lessened but I do fantasize and day dream a lot...

[GreyCat]

Like your humor. Like a previous commenter, I look forward to a similar video for narcissism. Thank you.