How To Make Your Life Exciting Again | Mel Robbins

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New research shows that your work, your life, and your relationships will get boring.

Today, you’ll learn a simple tool you can use to make your life exciting, joyful, and energizing again.

This profound conversation will allow you to truly understand and connect the dots between why you've become bored with what used to excite you – and how you can create more meaning in your life.

In this episode, Mel is joined by the renowned neuroscientist from University College London and MIT, Dr. Tali Sharot.

She is here to teach you the groundbreaking science and research about how you can start feeling excitement about your life again.

Dr. Sharot is a behavioral neuroscientist and the director of the Affective Brain Lab at University College London. Her research integrates neuroscience, behavioral economics, and psychology to study how emotion and behavior influences people's beliefs and decisions.

After today, you will know how to use Dr. Sharot’s research to make your life sparkle again and reignite happiness in your day-to-day life.

You’ll also learn very specific, tactical things you can do to make your vacations better, avoid a midlife crisis, and improve the experience of your everyday life.

By the time you finish listening, you’ll know EXACTLY what to do to create any change you want.

I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode.

In this episode:
00:00 Intro
01:42: The spontaneous adventure Mel went on last night.
02:35: Do you feel like your life has gotten boring?
04:47: The research-backed reason why life is getting so boring.
06:52: What ‘habituation’ is and how it impacts every aspect of your life.
08:04: Why change is foundational for happiness and joy.
10:53: How long should your vacation be for ultimate happiness?
12:04: Why the anticipation of good things is what actually makes you happy.
13:51: 2 ways to hack happiness and feel better starting today.
15:02: Why do you feel like you are outgrowing your romantic relationship?
16:34: Why 'taking space’ in your relationship is an essential action to take.
18:02: Do this exercise with Mel to better understand habituation.
19:22: The surprising situation you will find your partner the most attractive in.
21:18: What is happening in your brain when you experience something new.
23:30: Next time you feel bored and burned out, take a break.
24:45: A simple mindfulness exercise to find gratitude for what you have.
26:05: Based on neuroscience, this is how habituation is impacting your sex life.
29:34: Why, between ages 40 and 60, you will be the unhappiest.
32:30: If you hate your job, try THIS before you quit.
34:45: The one action you need to take today to find peace.

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[mallorygraf]

The first 30 years of my life were filled with so much family drama and sadness...esp first 20 years due to my parents divorce and their subsequent horrible life choices that affected my sisters and me. The unpredictability of those decisions never made me feel safe or secure and there was no routine other than the fact that someone would be drunk later that day. All this to say that due to my NOT boring childhood, I welcome routine, calmness into my life with open arms at my age of 62!

[wendyd]

Holeeeey crap! Now I understand the meaning of “midlife crisis” from a scientific, relatable position. I get it now! And I’m smack dab in the middle of it. I have been reflecting on the last 5 decades of my life (54 year old divorced/single mama). I go by the decades and think what l was doing at each stage in life. And yes!!! 0-40 were exciting times. I traveled, I had a constant stream of close friends I did things with, learned from, shared ideas with .. and then 50 hit. And I feel sad, lonely, depressed a lot, uninspired, stuck … habituation has got me by mental vice. Thank you Mel for bringing this perspective to life and giving me that awareness that I needed to break out of the mundane “habits” and get back to my old curious, adventurous, free spirited self. Love you girl! If we were neighbors we’d be picking flowers and berries and adventuring together 😊

[jtedder]

I’ve started putting this to work. Instead of going to our lake house and raking all weekend I signed up for a pontoon boat bird watching tour and a kayak bird watching tour at the Audubon Grebe Festival in August. I also signed up for a few 4 hour bus tours through our community college to SF Fleet Week, Half Moon Bay Pumpkin Festival, and Dickens Fair at the SF Cow Palace. Totally out of my introverted comfort zone but my weekends have to become more than housecleaning and grocery shopping.

[MauiJOY]

When I was a flight attendant, my love life with my husband was great..so glad to see him after being 3 days away...when I took early retirement, we divorced after just 8 months as I realized he cleaned the house in anticipation of my coming home that now became MY task along with so many other things including me noticing actually how he was not present when he drank everyday. He was not a violent drunk, just absent...no initiation of new or fun...This is making me understand it even more and validate my feelings that by my being away, having my own adventures then returning...things did "re-sparkled" LOL Perhaps we need to all create some real changes from routines.

[danawright]

I saw this post that said, commit to try 8 new things a month. 8 is a lot but I love and enjoying the challenge. And no I'm not bored. So even when I have nothing to do, I have new memories which keeps me happy. Planned trips, leaves room for excitement to come!

[Bluejewels]

Explains a lot about being bored and the monotony of everyday life and relationships.

[bigboss_una]

Mel Robbins single handedly changing my life is my highlight of 2024.❤️🇿🇦

[Hanna-fugb]

I love what you did with your husband!! Sleep in a tent under the stars and the full moon, wow!! Yeah its the small things thats make the big changes!
We travel alot with our 4 kids, small and big ones and thats make life more exciting!!❤

[mayatasa]

Oh my God, this is exactly how I feel about my life !! I am so happy for this episode, because now I realize I'm not alone and it's not all in my head, like my husband says, it's real. And thank you for acknowledging it and giving me ways to pep things up. Mel, your podcasts make me feel so normal, thank you.❤

[mysweetlife]

I am on holidays solo. I have a great deal of time to reflect on my life. I have also made some definite decisions to add sparkle to my life when I get back.

[michellelessner]

My midlife has had me move across the country from east coast to the desert if Phoenix escaping a financial, emotional and physically abusive relationship. I'd rather live alone (with my son) in the desert experiencing new things here! It's the best time of my life!!

[lynnmichelle]

I actually don't habituate to beautiful views, each time I'm on holiday, by the sea, in nature, every time I look out I feel so joyful and inspired by the view, so grateful that I'm there. I could never get bored by a beautiful place ❤

[ChristopherClyde]

This is a great Video. This brings back painful memories which i have been enduring. My relationship of 5 years ended 3 months ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

[felisasolares]

Anticipation as part of real happyness. Antoine de Exupry said it beautifully.. "If I know I'll be seeing you on Friday, I'll be happy since monday" ❤❤❤

[ValerieLadner]

Wow love this. I have been complaining to my husband about our mid life being “rinse and repeat”.

[juliebee]

ive always embraced change, and now i know why. stagnation is boring! I'm so ready for new adventure and i want to move. My husband,

[gamacaluso]

This was wonderful…. I’m excited for the changes 🎉❤ Love you Mel

[Mandragoraever]

Our society is so much spoiled that we started complaining about simple and stable things and looking for a constant excitement

[sallyje]

Mel, I love your YouTube videos. I've listened to you for a long time. I always download the workbooks but sometimes I have to step away. I feel like sometimes and this is just me. It becomes all about Mel and her accomplishments. And like I said I love you. You have a great message. Pat, yeah I think it takes away from that. When you know I don't know that's just me. I turned to Oprah and I listen to her and her love and kindness for other people and it just resets my soul. But I appreciate your your videos. They give me real factual information

[AnnellGibson-qgcp]

Nothing boring about my life. Routines have helped me so much.