How to Improve Extroverted Sensing (Se) as an INTJ

This video goes over the mentality required to improve Se.

Meditations for the anxious mind:

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[Chrupignat]

There is no such thing as overexplaining as long as the information is useful and not repeated unnecessarily.

[NevadaCountyLiving]

Dude you have a very high level understanding of this stuff. Thank you for sharing. It really helps

[Corvilux]

I’m glad these videos exist. I’ve always tested as INTJ, gone through a lot of research and found out I didn’t fit the stereotypes. I couldn’t figure out why it was I had moments of spontaneity, I didn’t fit the “always 100% laser focused” stereotype. I knew there were moments I just needed to downshift and CHILL for a bit. It’s not necessarily easy for me, I’m still thinking about things while I’m chilling. I mean I can go to the go kart track and when I’m not actively in the kart I’m still thinking to myself “Okay this needs to be done when I get home, what’s the plan of attack?” It’s not just a switch I can shut off, but I can still find some pleasure doing goofy things or just living in the moment. You go on the internet and try to figure it out and people just immediately jump to the conclusion “YOU’RE NOT INTJ” and it’s just made me confused because I don’t know what else I am. I thought “Maybe I’m a mistyped ENTJ? But I’m definitely not extroverted”, then I found out how inferior Se works, got my own idea and then you backed up my thoughts and it makes so much more sense now.

Another thing that confuses me with INTJs is as a type that’s Ni dom, how do you look at the stereotype and just settle on the thought that the stereotype is and must be representative of the whole? You’d think this would go against everything Ni stands for and I can’t figure it out and it annoys me. I just want to understand myself better and figure out how I’m supposed to live a better life and so far your videos have been the only thing that’s been helpful. Everything else has just confused and frustrated me because I can’t get a straight fucking answer anywhere else. You get ran around in circles, you start feeling like you’re wasting time because you aren’t getting any closer to an answer, eventually I just say to hell with this, I’m taking a nap before I start to get pissed. So I appreciate your videos man, you’re knocking it out of the park with your channel.

[aufderscholle]

Living a full life equals engaging all your first four functions. You are spot on. Carl Jung developed his typology by watching his patients who had mental problems because they overdid one function in their preferred attitude.

[The-Labbed-Life]

Great video Jon! As an INTJ, my closest friend the last 5 years is an ESFP and dang I learned a lot about Se and Fi.
I think that it truly pushed me in a good way to have her as a friend
In 2022 and 2023 I decided that I had to improve my Se a lot in alignment to my goal so I socialized a lot with people until they started to think I was an extrovert. It took me a while but now I make it seem natural. I think Se reminds me to live in the present moment and it makes life more satisfying for me.

One of the great points you talked about is failure and how we don’t want to show our vulnerability. Second hand embarrassment is so real for me 😬
I decided that 2024 was the year I put myself out there and that’s exactly why I created my Youtube channel around learning things.
It’s primarily a selfish way to push me outside of my comfort zone and get comfortable with failure but also a way to show that you are not a master at something directly, you start as a beginner.
My daily guitar journey has been fun so far and it showed me that people are more positive and cheering that I thought.

You explained Se very well, thanks Jon!

-Nadia

[Jojo]

This is why I joined a theatre group some years ago. I was not good at acting and I hated being on stage the first time I did it, but I learned so much. It was a whole other world I discovered.
Your video just helped me understand why I ever thought the theatre group would be a good idea :)

[moreminutes]

Im so glad this youtube account exists. I dont have to search for anything specific on your page. I just click the video in knowledge it WILL work for me and gives me Value. Thanks you keep it up even if that Video was hard to do. It teached me a lot <3

[πηγιοπατουχακη]

You are brave to train yourself against your natural inclinations. Hat off.

[_Thunderball_]

First of all, this ia a great video. Explains most of what I've figured out myself.

This is a very personal topic for me. This is one of the issues that will kinda fix itself later in life for you, but know that you dont have to wait for it.
1) As Jon said - you have to accept that there is another way of doing things besides your Ni. You have to ackknowledge that it exists, it's a part of you and that you want to do it. Things are going to go way off plan, you might get embarassed but that's the point. For me it was an literal fight with me internal self telling me all the horrors of not following my intuition and telling me that it's not me.
2) Motivation. This imo is the most important topic for the life of any INTJ in general but you need a reason to engage with Se, at least for practice at first. For me the solution was arguing myself into it. I could never fool myself so when it convinced myself that there's no other way of getting what I want other than Se way things started working.
3) Satisfaction from the results. Tbh I'm still working at this. I'm mostly still at the point where it all comes down to Te for me, so I enjoy fixing problems and accomplishing goals. I still dont know wtf "runners high" is even though I have been running almost everyday for 3 years at this point. I dont enjoy hanging out with other people or doing spontaneous stuff even though I know that I want to do it.

The part about developing motivations for talking to other people is actually the exact same for me. I figured out the most important thing that other people can give me is perspective. I figured out I dont wanna talk about their opinions, knowledge or accolades because that's going to cause a debate which they wont like, but perspective I'm always a sucker for.

Si people talking about how people I changed or how people keep changing all the time is the source of endless debate for me. I figured out that we're just talking about different things. For an INTJ we look at what people are, so people never change for us. INTJ will never become an INTP. Si people see people for how they're presenting (because that's how they see themselves as) so if the presentation changed that means the person has changed internally for them. You're never going to explain to an Si person what the difference is and how they're getting fooled by people performing their presentation all the time.

[siegniteyt]

This explains why I am so passionate about my violin when I was in high school. Why I am in love with music in the first place. It's because I love the sensation of a sound coming from the high pitch note. It's pleasing to my ears. I was able to express my emotions through it. By the help of my Ni dom, I was able to learn the music theory quickly. I discovered circle of fifths before knowing that it already existed. My Se strength comes from hearing. It shows why I am relaxed when I hear the sound of the rain from our rooftop. Se in general is awareness from the external world. I'm INTJ and I might be wrong describing Se.

[qwertyoupou]

Im half way watching the video and I just want to say thanks and keep doing what u r doing

[traumahappiness]

Thanks Jon. You make understanding the cognitive functions so easy.

[mor]

Wow, love this video and can relate to all. As Intj who pass through all the levels(but still not perfect) people always think that I am different type. But its true, You are healthy if you not on the stigma of your type .

Now I think about how we can split every function to different sides like you did to Se, its so interesting, thank you and keep with the videos!

[unknown-nn]

Hey thank you for making this video i think it will help me in the future 😊

[DeezyRYG]

Fantastic video. As an ENFJ, although my Se is tertiary, I had trouble loving it myself because I had always received messaging that it is an immature function, overly indulgent and impulsive, shallow, etc. Now I really have learned to embrace Se especially knowing that these descriptions are very 1 dimensional and not at all getting the true value of the function. Reading body language, staying fit, quick responses in the heat of a moment, getting into action with my Ni plans, seeing life for what it is and still enjoying its daily pleasures, appreciating art and visceral experiences, acting, fashion sense, and much more.

I think the examples you gave such as the movie Interstellar, and even something as simple as a well-timed joke, all of it are things that an INTJ can benefit from integrating into their own lives. Also, you bringing up the importance of Fi valuing certain things before Te will hold to it, and then that bleeds into the Se was great to point out.

[RaidenShogun..]

The sensor friend part... Yes, making friends with sensors will help intuitives engage with the lower functions! I have a friend who is high Se user and I don't get why she is so passionate about Se stuff. She always encourage me to join her on trips, and new experiences, but doing those really helped me engage with the world although it's not natural for me to do so. I think if we help each other out, we can help everyone improve!!!

[BasedGodEmperorTrump]

INTJ, here. Personally, Se shows up as "performance anxiety". This can manifest into fear of failure. I/we like to give others a good experience.

[vxvnw]

my extroverted sensing is the worst! no matter how hard i try even while walking i will always find myself having distracted by something, something is there always contemplating, news, thinking this that, what i should do or say next, whether what i just did was right and more.

However when i do try to be in present, i lose my calm. I turn vigilant and anxious.

[pyraxusthelutarian]

Hi Jon, as always, love your videos. They give me new directions of thought and help me identify my own strengths and weaknesses as a solid INTJ. I say "solid" because I have taken the MBTI test approximately once every decade (I'm almost 60 now) and I have always come up INTJ. The latest stats are I-93% N-80% T-71% J-81% and A-69%. The only stat that ever changed was the last. I initially tested as turbulent as opposed to assertive but A seems to be steadily rising as I age. You once replied to a comment I made on a previous video of yours that you thought I sounded as though I was pretty in touch with my Se. I gave it some thought and I think that there are two main factors which may explain this. One is that I love being out in nature. And I adopted an early habit of consciously engaging ALL my physical senses when being outdoors. Not only seeing things, but examining textures, listening to the cacophony of sounds present, identifying and tasting various wild edibles and of course, stopping to "smell the roses". The other factor is that I also adopted early on a habit of trying to put myself in the shoes of others. Trying to figure out why people do the things they do as I observe them and even when I disagree with their methods or actions, making a sincere effort to see things from their perspectives. Don't get me wrong, when I see people doing things "the hard way" (especially at work) it still drives me absolutely batty internally, but I have learned to let go of my control freak tendencies and mitigate my Fi impulses to avoid too dominant attempts to "educate" them. I fortunately learned to adopt a sense of humility and accept that there are more ways than one to "skin a cat". 🙂 Anyway, thanks again for another insightful video sir.

[Daver]

You should do more videos like the last part of your video. It felt more genuine at the end. I also like how you incorporated the mic in hand for a video on Se.