Women and girls with ADHD

Women and girls with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) face challenges that are distinct from those that men and boys must cope with — from not being identified as having the disorder to feelings of inadequacy and shame, a greater risk of depression and other serious consequences. Hear directly from women living with the disorder as they discuss living with ADHD at home, school, on the job and in relationships. Leading researchers and clinicians share their latest findings on how the disorder impacts girls and women throughout their lives.

READ MORE: Under-diagnosed and under-treated, girls with ADHD face distinct risks

READ MORE: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD): Controversy, Developmental Mechanisms, and Multiple Levels of Analysis by Stephen Hinshaw

[arnictasn]

The report cards always had feedback like: "Student is great in class, but lacks participation. Great potential blah blah blah but needs to try harder"

[taylorgoodenough]

The social rejection part literally hit me so hard I’m crying. The constant rejection and alienation and loneliness is so isolating.

[AnnaRolo]

I was the quiet one.. the one always in my own mind and struggleing with time and getting things going. At 34 yrs I finally accepted I do have ADHD. But the road has been hard and most people still say I don't seem like someone who has ADHD.. sigh..

[gracieborell]

“I was super bored in class, I didn’t have any friends, I only wanted to read”. I haven’t been diagnosed but it makes so much sense. Hearing that made my choke up. I didn’t have friends in elementary school. I had my nose in a book all the time. Years later, the more I look, the more it makes sense

[hadrianwall-rh]

"A lot of my friends still think I'm organized and I'm thinking...if they only knew..." Please, please, please, give us more feedback on this notion because it is a great trap that keeps us from getting help.

[Kyle-spdd]

Teachers always told my parents katelyn is withdrawn in class and doesn’t apply herself that’s why she is failing. It made me feel terrible about myself bc they basically were saying I was lazy. The truth is I was bored out of my mind in most of my classes and I was shy, I would doodle a lot in class and daydream. I couldn’t focus on subjects that didn’t interest me. It was terrible bc nobody knew not even me, and I thought I was just lazy like everyone else did and it made my self confidence go down. Now I’m in my thirties and it’s such a relief to know that’s not the case.

[rushotimukhopadhyay]

"I'm gonna put all of my heart and soul into this. I'm gonna study all my heart out" this is exact thing I prey for every little moment when I cannot study, I cannot focus even for 2 minutes straight for the National level exams. I'm thinking myself as lazy or I have no issues but limitless procrastination. I think myself as an impostor. I feel like my body, my mind and my brain stop working for me. I've been always the lonliest girl in class throughout my student life. And I can completely relate with getting bored and having no one to talk in the class.
Oh my God! I'm still clinically undiagnosed but I've literally cried watching this video.

[katrinamareen]

Does anyone not struggle with time? I have developed OCD like tendencies to make sure I am on time... I also have immense anxiety about letting people down, so Im usually extra early.

[sydneyedwards]

This is wonderful! I am in grad school studying to be a physician assistant and it is the hardest thing I have ever done. When you're a girl with ADHD, you tend to hide your struggles because you feel like an imposter, but with so much stress the mask that you had under control starts to slip away. I think it is so important to show successful and intelligent women with ADHD so that people can see that their goals are accomplishable and that you will overcome many of your difficulties with time!

[micaylacatherine]

Just to give you an idea of how undetectable it can be, I only got diagnosed last week, When my doctor told me he was sure I told him I’m sure he’s wrong, so he sent me to another doctor too who said the same. ADHD undiagnosed can lead to anxiety and depression, which is what I was being treated for, until my house doctor started asking me other questions like, do I start stuff and never finish it? Am I overly sensitive to emotions, sounds and touch? Am I messy and disorganized. I said to him I can’t have adhd because I study very hard, I do very well, I have received scholarships for my undergraduate and now my postgraduate at the best universities in my country. But... then he started to break it down for me... how long does it take me to sit down and start working? I usually start “preparing” to work 2-3 hours before I actually work because I procrastinate, but all students procrastinate right? I tell people to excuse me often because I often fidget, move around in my chair or shake my legs because that’s just me, I can’t concentrate if I’m not moving. I can’t sit in a class for more than 30 minutes before my mind is somewhere else so I tend to draw or play a game on my phone. My doctor also explained that people tend to think it’s only the “hyperactive” kids that are easily spotted, but the shy quiet girls are missed. I have always struggled with friends, my self-esteem was low in school, all of this built up into my anxiety and social phobia today.

So after I found out I have ADHD, I was 100% sure he made a mistake because I’m an excellent student and I’m not hyper. Little did I know that people with adhd also tend to hyper focus on things they like, I get overly passionate about stuff and then drop it cold turkey a month later. My life hasn’t changed, and being diagnosed wasn’t life changing, it just have me the ability to take the right medication to help me cope with these things. In the end of the day, my undiagnosed adhd left me struggling with extreme anxiety. I still can’t believe it. Not that there’s anything wrong with it but, I just wouldn’t have seen it in myself. I think firstly mental illnesses have such a huge social stigma, because people don’t actually understand any of it. And I’m an example too, because when my doctor told me this, I said to him... I don’t really know what adhd is

[ChrisSaenz]

I was diagnosed at age 40. I'm 57 now. I recall vividly being tied to my chair in 1st grade. Back then they just thought we were bad kids. If not for my 4th grade teacher who recognized my intelligence and different learning style (she was progressive believe me) I don't know what would have become of me. Awareness and education has helped me a lot .... I tailored my entire life around it and adapted before I even knew what I was dealing with ... probably I could have accomplished more if I had had the knowledge earlier but I'm just glad these days there is more awareness and help for girls and women!!!

[itsonlyatail]

I as just diagnosed at 65 after some suicide attempt. I put all the pieces together in my life

[lifewitholliethegsp]

Every time i watch one of these videos I mourn all of the failures, I wonder what I could have achieved in my life. I was so gifted in design but hated every other aspect of school, I failed college. Now I am home with my children and I have Thai knowledge, and I wonder what my life could have been like. I know it’s not too late, I have an appointment tomorrow with a psychiatrist. I pray for all people who find out so late in life, that there was a solution all along.

[katrinathompson]

Does anyone struggling with overthinking?? My brain doesn’t stop sometimes, so many things are flying off and I can’t sit home all day. It’s frustrating,

And being an active communicator, sometimes overactive communication (which comes from counseling so I can communicate my needs)

[RebeccaSB]

When I got diagnosed, she asked me to say something about school or something I noticed in school, so I replied: “Did you know there are people who when given an assignment, just get out some paper and start doing it?” I was 60 when I finally had this conversation & was diagnosed.

[beatrixthegreat]

I was that kid that was too distracted to notice I was being rejected if they weren’t overt in it. If I was sitting in a group and they were talking I would think I was part of the conversation... so they’d get soft and I’d think that my hearing went off again so I’d get closer. This one time it happened a kid sent me on a quest to grab something... ever the helpful person I did it. I returned with it and he didn’t use it, it dawned on me. “Oh he just wanted me to leave. Would have been more effective to tell me to piss off” so I left and never thought of myself as part of their friend group again. I had a friend group and they put up with my weirdness. I just carried a sketchbook around so I could distract myself from social situations.
It never occurred to me I could have ADHD. It was the 90s so it was marketed as the perpetual sugar high.

[nicholebree-anne]

I've just been diagnosed this week with ADHD at 22, and I'm in the process of trying to understand what behaviors are ADHD and what are just me... when she said that she finally has a name for the struggles she felt her whole life, that really hit home. I've been struggling for so long and never knew why, what's wrong with me? Why am I different? Why does no one understand what I'm going through? Am I just a defective human being? I isolated myself, got really depressed, felt lots of anxiety, and now I have so many answers, and I have hope In that I can learn why I do and feel things, I can learn why I'm different and understand myself, it makes me feel like I'm not alone, I just wish my family and boyfriend, could understand what it's like for me. No one can see my struggles so they assume I'm just too emotional, or lazy, depressed, etc and they don't see how it's not my fault and I can't control it, you know? It's so hard to show someone who doesn't experience it what it's like so they can understand me :(

[pAwLinNe]

I have not been diagnosed with ADHD yet, and just learned about it for like 4-5 months. After learning about it and its symptoms in girls, my life finally made sense, so much it made me cry. I always thought I was a failure because I worked so hard for things but I kept failing, losing things, forgetting important tasks and even appointments, make at least one mistake with anything I do, and lost friends because they could not understand why I was so disorganized and impulsive. My emotions usually get the best out of me and I get overwhelmed about pretty much everything. My brain won't shut off that it takes me 4 hours from when I lie down, to get to sleep. Then have a hard time waking up. I started having anxiety and social anxiety as I got older, even though I have good family background and no traumatic experiences.
I live in a country where disorders still get stigma, and I honestly don't know where to start. Psychology and Psychiatry is not that advanced here, too, so I have been putting off going to a specialist to get diagnosed. I have been trying self help and somehow it helped significantly but I know I still need help.

[ellipsis-]

Everytime they mentioned a symptom I said yes like literally I can relate to each one of them

[Sugamamita]

I feel like I missed so much of my life and potential because I was diagnosed with ADHD so late in adulthood. I was never full focused just wondered around and being spontaneous.