Fear Of Failure vs Fear Of Success

Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation

#shorts #drk #mentalhealth

[TheSammywammybar]

"The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference." -Elie Wiesel

[TahoeNevada]

I fear success because I've told myself for 30+ years I don't deserve it. I'm working to unlearn this.

[NeuroLoosh]

An interesting perspective on this as a disabled person: sometimes that fear of success is fear of increased expectations that I can't realistically meet. I WANT to be successful, but that might end up being at the expense of my health, not to mention if you're on disability benefits, there are PENALTIES for making any money. But it also sucks to just stay at home and feel like you're not amounting to anything. Damned if you do, damned if you don't

[ndpartycrasher]

The stakes get higher the more you are succesful and therefore have more to lose. More to lose makes you more afraid of failing and so you would rather not succeed, yet you don't want to fail.

[evamkaushik]

Because, to retain the success that you've gathered, you need to remain as disciplined as you set out to be. That cost is scary.

[il-ma.le.]

The fear is to end up trapped in the thing, whatever it is.
You get the job? Now you're tied to it.
Something you did works? Now if someone gets hurt by it anyone can come and rightfully demand your head.
And in the end, you did whatever you did for what, foryourself? Because this "yourself" is comfy in the mouths of too many apparently, and a big percentage of them are just strangers.

[tacticslc]

It’s the fear of changing your relation to your current state, whether it’s success or failure, getting out of your comfort zone

[minhducnguyen]

It's quite logical when you think about it. I'm afraid of success because it means logically I'll have to move to the next level which is where I can potentially fail.

[frenchvanilla]

The fear of success is just the fear of failure with extra steps

[LiveFreeOrDieDH]

If you fail, that's it, you failed. If you succeed, you're always just 1 step away from failure. The phrase "dying a thousand deaths" comes to mind.

[jessicapinto]

Dr. K. has such a talent for putting thoughts into coherent sentences

[irsmrtrthanu]

It’s the fear of change and uncertainty, it doesn’t matter if it’s a good or bad change. You just don’t know how it’s gonna turn out so it can be scary.

[sarahmitchell]

Profound. It explains why both forgiveness and healing are so much better than revenge and hate because it releases you from the attachment

[canarycam]

I’ve talked to counselors on and off for years and each time, asked this question, “I can see that I’m afraid to fail, but when I start to imagine the life I’d lead if I were successful, I strangely feel fearful of that too. Why would I be afraid of getting what I want?” Not a single one of them actually answered the question. Thank you! I finally get it!

[thapinkpenter]

I guess for me its kinda like the fear of gaining something im scared to lose again

[Heyuher]

I'm not afraid of "success". I'm afraid that people's expectations change with success but the past and hours don't (they rarely do).

[dreamingacacia]

There is a solid reason why so many people fear of success. The responsibilities which come along the success. That's why so many billionaires or even just your normal well off family would try to do their best if they think what they're doing is impactful, and they like to do charity too. It's something that we known as "impostor syndrome". In case you're not a successful person, I called it "prematured impostor syndrome".

[kemsatofficial]

If you love someone, then they are necessarily capable of making you hate.

[allyson]

I recently took a new role and I’ve found myself paralyzed and strangled by my own expectations. I keep trying to be more because they keep praising me and telling me how great I am. That’s freaking me out even more as some part of me believes I need to keep being more except I was accepted and taken on and being praised for who I am already vs thinking I have to be something way more. I also really respect and want to live up to the person who hired me which is causing more anxiety. The anxiety is then crippling my performance as I’m definitely not flowing with ease or creativity which would make things a whole lot better and I could just be me and then be my brilliant self. I still haven’t found peace in this new role as the mind games right now are unbelievable.

[magnus]

I have a fear of success because I hate attention and expectations. Also judgement. What if I get sick and then get judged for not outputting the same stuff? Attachment is also intimidating and you need attachment/commitment to succeed.