Keys to Overcoming Narcissistic Family Rules 4-6

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Did you grow up in a narcissistic family? In a previous video, Jerry Wise presented 16 traits and rules of a narcissistic family. If you recognize many of these traits from your childhood, it's important to seek help for recovery and healing. In this video, which is part two of the series, Jerry offers keys to overcoming these dysfunctional rules. For more context, refer to the video "Did I Grow Up in a Narcissistic Family?" where the 16 rules of a narcissistic family are discussed, with special thanks to Julie Hall.

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Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.

****DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.****

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Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇

jerrywise

I’m the scapegoat and I’ve recently discovered that it’s because I’m the “truth teller” in my communal narcissistic family structure/system.

drnobody

I'm a codependent from way back, too. It goes back generations. Breaking this programming is very challenging.

rubberbiscuit

Thank you so much. This series has opened up my understanding. You have put into words what is unsaid in a narcassistic home but always know deep down.

catherinesinclair

You hit the nail on the head. The narc in my family would put her own spin or out right lie about a situation to shame or make me look like the “ selfish person “ or turn people against me

miaumiau

Thank you, for the things you point out about these family systems. I'm from one. ACA/DF... what if one has been betrayed, abused in therapy, esp. from a young age (suffered the triangulation with therapst and malignant narcisstic mother). You speak of finding the right therapist. Maybe i will just stop looking for now, because re-explaining my story over and over, feels necessary, yet so draining, especially when I can sense that they do not get it. But I certainly thank you, Jerry Wise and channels like yours.

erockfreedom

Thank you Jerry. This " jail made of our mistakes " that our narcissistic family keeps us in, this is so true for me. You are helping me so much. God bless you

HeofonumArt

Thank you sir. I feel blessed to have found help through your words. The world I was raised in and have been living in my entire life is so upside-down that the Cheshire cat would find it completely confusing. For some time now I've been listening to your words and I've found hope. Hope, it's such little thing and I'm learning to keep it alive. Only recently have I become ready to heal my self and grow beyond the straight jacket family I was born into. I am at present in a no contact state with nearly all of my family of origin.
Hope is all I have now, well right now anyway. I think I understand that will change, only with time and healing though.
I am truly thankful for the journey that brought your words to me.

candiedginger

The thing about triangulation is difficult when abuse is play.
All the aunts & uncles and father and brothers that sat by watching and befriending the abuser.
It hurts the abused.
In fact it’s in play with my son & daughter. One is hurt by me still loving the other. And I understand that. So it’s difficult to work out because I don’t want to hurt either.

chilloften

This is the video I've been looking for to know how to navigate the aftermath that's mine to deal with in order to move forward in healing. The role playing and case studies are especially helpful in gaining tools. Healing feels so good after knowing things were off for so long but not knowing what to do about any of it. All my efforts were good faith efforts but you can't do normal with abnormal. This was HUGE in reframing everything. I feel so much hope in so many areas. It's golden. Thank you.

andrearush

Again.. YOu said a whole lot but I will just comment on one part of it. The only way for me to get out of the triangle was to physically remove myself. My mom and her large catholic family and everyone that my mom was connected with said bad things about my dad and my dad never said anything bad about them. If I am in it then I am in it. I heard one of your messages about it being impossible to set boundaries with Narcissists. My thing is that I had to cut ties with everyone that my mom was connected to.

darinsmith

Jerry i know you said in another video that you will make a video on child rules vs adult rules..I would love that topic. Also, gas lighting ourselves/denial...I m realizing how big a role denial has played in my problems...its so sneaky as well and hard to wake up from.

FFlores