Enabling Addiction (10 Signs You Could Be Enabling Someone)

Are you enabling someone's addiction? Enabling isn't just about giving an addict or alcoholic money. There are lots of ways you could be enabling addiction. Here are the top10 signs that you're enabling someone to continue in addiction.

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About Me/Us
My name is Amber Hollingsworth, and I worked in a private psychiatric hospital for 10 years. This facility provided acute care (short term) for serious mental health and Substance Use Disorders. I learned a LOT from my experience working in a psychiatric hospital. I got to see and treat almost every type of mental health and addiction issue you can think of, but it felt like a revolving door. I'd see the same people come in over and over and their families were absolutely desperate for help.

Unfortunately, the system isn't set up to help families in general. I did pretty much every job in that hospital that a counselor could do! I worked in detox. I developed and ran an adolescent substance abuse program. I worked sometimes worked on the unit with severe mental health patients such as Schizophrenia, Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personal Disorder, and many more.

In addition to working as a counselor in the inpatient facility and the intensive outpatient programs, I also served as Patient Advocate and Service Excellence Coordinator. The Patient Advocate is the person that gets called in when a patient or family member has a complaint. The Service Excellence Coordinator was the person who trained all new staff on providing excellent clinical and customer services.

These experiences gave me a unique perspective on the flaws of our mental health and substance abuse systems and also what needed to be done to correct them.

I don't want to make the facility out to be an inadequate facility. In fact, it was one of the better emergency mental health facilities. It just wasn't useful for creating long term recovery. You see, the system just isn't set up in a way that's conducive to creating sustainable long term change for individuals or families.

All this led to me deciding to leave the hospital and start my own addiction treatment center, specializing in addicted family systems. Over the years, I had developed lots of good relationships with other clinicians, and I knew who was the best! I put together a superstar team, and we now run out own outpatient addiction treatment practice called Hope For Families Recovery Center.

We've worked very hard not to tie ourselves to the "big system." We don't work for the insurance companies. We don't work for a hospital system, We don't answer to anyone except our clients, their families, and the licensing boards that provide us with our professional license. We have all Licensed Professional Counselors (LPC)-(which is mental health counselors) and also Licensed Addiction Counselors (LAC).

Our YouTube channel is our way of trying to help as many people as possible find the answers they need to beat addiction. We spend a ton of time and money, creating these resources and support that you find them valuable and will share them with anyone else you know who may need them. The educational library of addiction resources on our YouTube channel is completely free of charge and are readily available to any person or family who needs them. So please consider subscribing if you haven't already.

You can help us in our mission to get the right information to everyone who needs it by sharing these family recovery resources.

We know that not everyone can access our treatment services, but we do offer consultations and coaching sessions to individuals and families all over the country.

[jasonuren]

'If you're working harder to solve their problems than they are working, then you're enabling.' - Ouch!!!! 👏

[gwillis]

I hear you saying "Have the party without them. Open the Christmas presents without them. Have the fun on schedule. Don't ruin the day waiting around for the addict."

[deborahstarman]

If I am working harder than they are to solve their problems I am enabling. Good note.

[paulaneary]

Thank You, I read a response to a comment you said, "If you are working harder than they are, you are probably enabling" and it really hit home. I did it for way too long and gradually stopped. Now my son won't speak to me. I just couldn't go on the other way though. Coping with my life and his, my problems and his on top of it. Saying NO is the hardest thing to do.

[anitabowdon]

I'm the one!! Who is running around getting information about rehabs! And yeah he's sitting back not even knowing that I'm doing this very thing!! Because that day will come when he will be forced! I'm just tired & worn out 😢 I'm the one who is worrying! Like trying to keep on top of him! And other responsibilities!! And then other times ill just shut the door on him & the problem of dealing with it And it's a big relief when he gows to work because it gives me a break of not having to worry about it. As his boss is aware of his addiction & he really comes down hard on him!! 💔😪🙏🏻

[lovelyv]

#9 hurt me. Yes I feel like I did favors out of my comfort zone…. And was not given proper appreciation… and basically ignored ( they went back to their mess) hurts so much to not have reciprocity and recognition.

[pinkcottoncandy]

Wow I’ve done so much covering up for my son and doing every day things even to setting boundaries he keeps breaking, thinking I’m helping him 😔

[jamieminer]

Wow this is good information and applies to people who don’t have an addiction but continue to make poor life choices.

[JSL]

My mother gave 40 years enabling our father's outrageous behaviour. In truth, he had undiagnosed Bi-Polar disorder. I am completely convinced of it. The more I read up on the disorder, the more I truly believe that. Reflecting back, she was a vulnerable woman herself who probably never even knew she was an enabler and totally denied his mental health problems. So, in other words, enabling is complicated too.

[freetobememe]

OH MY! I have studied this topic for 35yrs. And needed a brush up, and you are answering my questions. Thank you.

[delldirks]

If you are working harder to solve their problems 😭🥺

[taylernoelle]

You always seem to know what video is resonating with me each week! I know exactly who I'm sending this to ;)

[AliiReviews]

Wow, my pre-marital counseling introduced me to this topic and I didn’t realize I was enabling my fiancé with his addictions

[paulaneary]

Never lied for anyone. Can't stand lying and glad I never lied for anyone.

[CamelFox]

This sounds like how my mom deals with my brother who is mentally ill. He is chronically dependent on my mom, food, and cigarettes. If she wasn't there, everything would fall apart and he doesn't seem to have any personal motivation.

[wallabing]

Enablers will readily sacrafice the health and well being of others to feed the enabler, first hand experience, mark my words.

[jenniferbaker]

Hi Amber, not sure why this one in particular showed up in my feed today, but I feel like you are talking directly to me. Thank you, I needed this (as usual).

[gatheringnomoss]

You always hit the nail on the head. Thanks again for these helpful videos..

[lorimast]

I've been reminding my husband to do his PT exercises, because he is HORRIBLE about taking care of himself. I never thought it was enabling, but now I think maybe it is. :-( Thanks for doing this.

[AYe-lyyo]

to be honest, i feel you can do all these things, including being the bad guy, as long as you KNOW you do it for yourself, instead for the addict.