STOP ENABLING ADDICTION

Enabling is the second leading cause of death from addiction. Here are some ways family can enable without realizing it.

[danettesquires]

My heart goes out to every parent. I so understand because I am a mother of one. My child, my youngest child!!! The pain is

[jobillingsley]

I stopped enabling my Son just over 3 weeks ago. It was hard but I had to set boundaries for his sake as well as my own. I haven't had contact with him, and until he seeks professional help my decision will remain as such. Sending love to anyone who is in this situation ❤️

[Lavendarfox]

I needed to hear this today. I finally realized how much I was enabling, and when my loved one got his second DUI last week, I didn’t answer the jail phone call and blocked the number—deleted the voice messages without listening—and am filing for divorce. This is year 13 of a relapse that has been a roller coaster of horrific proportions. I was ill prepared. It took this many years of gradually figuring out how I was enabling to finally get to what I did last week. I have felt guilty today and your video came up today— helped me to lose the guilt trip and know I’m doing the right thing. Divorce isn’t where I wanted to be, but the financial devastation coming down on me from this has become untenable. This video was so helpful—many will benefit from hearing what you said. Thanks!

[nyc]

I saved this video and every time I feel like I need to reach out to my addicted son, then I watch the video to give me the courage not to. This is terribly painful, I cry everyday for what used to be and how life is like living on the edge.

[merrilee]

My son is an addict and its literally ruining my life ..i cant be happy i have developed ptsd and severe anxiety as a result of his addiction as well as destroying my family ...i and my family have enabled him but not to intentionally help the addiction ..but hoping he would see how much he is loved and supported but i am seeing a therapist who is giving me the strength to step back ..i didnt sleep at all lastnight knowing he is out there somewhere using its a selfish disease that has no mercy but i am learning to allow him to figure it out himself ..its so hard ...many prayers needed and prayers to anyone dealing with this in their family its destroying me 🙏

[danettesquires]

Please help us Mothers out here. Its so very hard for those of us who had them within use for 9 months and raised them. It hurts the worse!!!!

[Jdrummer]

You tell the truth brother, I can relate as a 42 YO recovering addict with 5 plus years clean, crack and alcohol brought brought me to my knee’s. I had to end up on the streets to hit bottom, happened 4 times before I finally climbed out of it. Started recovery in 2008 what a long road but making it now. People were done with me and the mess I created and it definitely helped me in the end. Spent the last 3.5 years doing outreach work and realized I couldn’t do it anymore, so many people dying and just didn’t feel like I was actually helping, so walked away to go back to school.

[melissaj]

Thank you for this. I didn't enable my brother. My father hated me for it. My family continued to enable him. He died at 32. You are a good man. Thank you for sharing.

[joycecoalter]

You make great points. My point is.... What does a family do with an addicted person (alcohol or drugs) who if they would set boundaries.... in the real world where it leaves them (a family )in financial ruins if they part or threating to leave. This plays a HUGE role in why people don't set a boundary or leave them if they don't change. This is HUGE! This is REAL cause of why people don't do it

[dancegirlhaver]

Thank you because my daughter got mad at me when i called her dad. Thank you for the words to help say what's needed. I do lay my head down at night with pain in my heart, and i told her "I'm here and i will help you change, but i will not help you stay the same" praying she continues with treatment

[toddfather]

Amen, regarding keeping the cell phone paid for. Amen!!! I was guilty of that. The phone. The cars, the gas, the "spending money". I was/am the worst enabler of my wife

[PurpleReels]

4:38 hit home for me... Being willing to stay in the relationship as is, is enabling! Whoaa ... Well that broke it down right there! Staying in it is not helping it's showing that I agree with it! Wow. Thank you! Omg and he said one time if i am so disrespectful etc then why are you here? This is truly NOT the man I married! 💯💯💯

[CHarris-xleg]

This was a wonderful video. I learned the hard way that I’ve been enabling my husband during his addiction. 14 years of heartache, confusion, financial ruin, and pain. He’s in treatment and actively working on his recovery, but it took all these years. I want to just move on with my life, but he’s trying so hard.. it’s a misery I don’t wish on my worst enemy if I had one.

[ahughes]

I stopped enabling my dad years ago. He was alcoholic. He just passed Jan 27 2025. Lots of guilt to process and heal.

[CarolinaTVGirl]

Wonderful video. My husband and I are separated now due to his addiction. I am trying my very best not to enable him. I'm focusing on myself now.

[teresarodriguez]

The friends that run to their rescue, cover up their lies hiding their alcohol, listen to their woe's and complaints about how everyone has victimized them, listening to their negative talk and listening to them repeat how people are taking advantage of them, how nobody loves them. Hear them say I hate you, you are mean to me and you don't care because you don't let me do what I want to do is drink all day and destroy my life, how dare you make me responsible for alcohol abuse when you are the one who has issues. This stuff I heard over and over by my housemate and friend, she has refused help. I can now only walk away and turn her over to her devices it will not end well for her, it's a slow death. My prayers and compassion are with her, I leave the door open for that someday for this prodigal daughter to come home and be set free.

[CarlaH]

The phone thing was interesting... I wasted hundreds of dollars trying to keep my son with a phone so I could keep in touch and they were lost stolen broken... I finally let it go and stopped replacing them. I can't reach him as easily but I couldn't before either because if he was up to know good he just ignored my calls anyway.

[JJSolitude]

this is helpful, thank you. I'm in Alanon but I can see more subtle ways I'm still enabling. Gives me more to work on.

[PurpleReels]

**Update** September 12th 2024 the judge signed the final orders for the annulment. Free from all of the emotional, physical, mental and psychological abuse. Living my best life and loving it‼️💜‼️😊😊

[mercyln]

2025...wish I knew this sooner. My late mum and I have unknowingly been enabling my brother's alcohol addiction in many ways😢😢😢
Poor mum was killed in a tragic motor accident coz she was travelling to buy stock for her small shop...something my addicted brother should've been doing, but because he always drunk the money if mum sent him, so mum (a 79yrs old) decided to do it herself😢😢😢