Things you never hear in school assembly | Mock the Week - BBC

Mock the Week | Series 17 Episode 11 | BBC

#bbc

[ygrainne_bugs]

It's also entertaining because of the fact that they all somehow look like they could be teachers..

[hollyg]

The parents pretending to be religious to get into the school is so real.

[louiswebster]

‘I got my results back. It wasn’t chlamydia. Miss Lyons is back in the saddle’
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[jaggass]

''Can all students stop pretending to slip on a wet floor? we already have a bad enough rating as it is''

[sophiegreen]

“Think about people less fortunate than you.. I always find it cheers me up hehehe” his laugh at the end 😂😂

[TheBlueboyRuhan]

3:00 - That's literally my sixth form physics teacher

[Joe-hlts]

"parents who pretended to go to church to get you into this school" lol my parents had to do that 😂😂

[tylergriffin]

'As today is the school outing, I'd like all the lesbian and gay children to come to the front." *my squad walk forward*

[Lalaz]

Ofsted man... he come... he say... school not good!

[bradrevitt]

1:52 And the caretaker has asked to say take care 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[davidlance]

Hugh’s last joke sums me up on my last day of school (wasn’t a teacher though)

[MizukiYumeko]

The caretaker bit is amazing, just, simple and yet effective

[sarahwarwick]

The bald guy kept wanting to go but didn’t get a chance 😕

[twitkh]

It’s so weird watching other people half walking up to the mic and then going back because someone else got there first

[rashidclark]

I loved that "no pressure" joke much more than the audience did

[ovaltineforlife]

At my school during a charity comedy assembly, there was:

"Now, in Lost Property, Dr Adams' hairline has been located."

[petercdowney]

Here's something I DID hear once when we were lining up for school assembly:

"Boys I do believe it's jumper down and trousers up, not jumper up and trousers down!"

[millsr]

drinking?
smoking?
fighting?

these are all 3 reasons for me to be very tired today.

[Adam-nbim]

Tom Allen has really grown on me recently. He just takes some getting used to....

[phatcat-stgb]

The reaction to the ‘school no good’ joke was priceless!!! 😂