Silent Treatment or Disengagement?

Has the narcissist disengaged from you or is "just" a silent treatment?

Understand the use of the Present Silent Treatment, the Absent Silent Treatment and how to understand when it is not (or no longer) a silent treatment and is now disengagement.

[aroseisarose]

The silent treatment, such a childish behavior. My narc has done this to me sooo many times. Now I just let him disappear for awhile, I don't chase, I don't call, or text. He comes back eventually. Every time it happens it makes me less interested, and it gives me more power because I have learned the patterns he uses and know when he will do this.

Eloquent, Well spoken, well articulated, rich source of information. Nice voice! Excellent, professional. Educative. Super thx HG!!

[ak-intelligence]

I LOVE the silent treatment.
I go out and meet friends, paint my nails, buy dresses, have a good time, have drinks, it's also peace and quiet without him come to think of it and by the time the narcissist is back, I've done SO many things. And get this !
He asks what I did while he was away. I say I had a great time with friends and did so many fun activities and he gets SO upset 😂 Hilarious ! You should see the look on his face. Priceless !

[chrissy]

You hit the nail on the head, HG. I finally confronted him on his abuse, and after his exposure, he began the silent treatment that day. He kept me unblocked for awhile while he was looking for another primary source (because he was able to still get fuel from my begging and pleading for answers and closure). When I asked him why he still chats with me sometimes, “no other women want to chat with me”. Unreal how I didn’t see how I was just being used. Now I am blocked (roughly 3 months now) and highly believe it is because he now has replaced me and found a new intimate primary source.

[TheEnlightenOneGodsChild]

Let me be very clear about the silent treatment. I will not live in the same house, apartment or be in a relationship with a woman who's not speaking to me. This shit will end very quickly.

[extreme-cmhb]

OMG, HG!! I have had this very controlling "friend" giving me the silent treatment for over 6 months now for something I consider to be absolutely ridiculous. Before this happened though, I began exerting control by setting boundaries with him. When I'd set a boundary, he'd give me the silent treatment for one week to 2 months. Holy shit, the entire rash of events is so clear to me now. Thank you, HG

[patriciaearley]

Nothing happened he just stopped talking to me suddenly.But it's just as well he's always been inconsistent finally found out what he was all about.I have one thing to say now BYE 👋

[gerrymoreno]

The narc has been trying to contact me several times and I've left her 4 months ago. I was in a situationship with her for 14 years and I couldn't take the cheating lying and all that bad stuff that they do. Smh so glad that I was able to leave with out getting arrested for false allegations or worse. To all empaths out there leave as soon as you see one red flag from a narcissist. If you don't leave right away then you will be in a bad situation.

[tinachristine]

What sick, twisted, psychotic abusers. Thank you!!

[jeffcollom]

Disengagement is bliss. Let them go with their bad self.

[tdmj]

How exhausting! I’ve been married to a child. So much info and mystery. I’m so glad I’m not a Narc.

[jackie]

This so perfectly explains the behaviour of my ex in the last 15 months! Thank you for clarifying that. I was subjected to increasing periods of PST (months on end) after I broke off our engagement and he realised he was losing control of me. I moved into the spare room as it got more dysfunctional. It graduated to what I now see is AST when he went away 'looking for somewhere to live' but were probably just holidays looking for/with secondary supply (and he refused to say where) and I realise has now progressed to disengagement. I can now see that this occurred at the point he found his new supply a few months before he eventually moved out. I have no idea where he is living. He refused to tell me despite taking our dog (I felt I should know where she is but I don't). He wanted to share the dog but his behaviour when I have seen him to hand her over was so dismissive - no eye contact and didn't speak - that I have now said don't contact me again and the dog is now your responsibility. Breaks my heart to lose my dog but I refuse to put up with his treatment of me anymore.

[joannemcevoy]

I was subjected to various silent treatments during a long standing devaluation as primary source. The narc would take off a lot citing various excuses such as work. I don't know why he even bothered to come back following his being away.Things only got worse. Good riddance.

[triplejmom]

My ex narcs silent treatment backfired because it gave me the chance to speak to friends & one convinced me he was very toxic & helped me go no contact. I made the mistake of calling him to end it. He immediately answered the phone & to say he was unhappy with my decision would be an understatement. My friend let me stay with her so if he hoovered I never saw anything. I also deleted him from my phone & never answered any number not already in my phone. Hope I never see him again

[nvlovale]

"don't want you hanging around like a bad smell" sounds a lot like " a dead fly in the ointment "
Now I shall listen again for my benefit. Thanks again

[keithgeracijr.]

Spot on HG! This is so accurate. Thank you for all your videos! They have been so wonderfully informative and so intuitively enlightening! I am a student of your work and I am very greatful for your enciteful wisdom! Awesome!

[narcfreeatlast]

I suppose us being worried, calling, texting, and trying to reach the narc provides fuel. The way the disengagement or silent treatment makes the IPS feel is a source of fuel. Might be wrong, but just a thought.

[kareeseboone]

I wish you were around in 2018. When it began I'm just blown away. This video has given such clarity. The sad part is I know about narcissists and sociopath's and I still didn't pick up on it but as you said in your empath video which was another confirmation. I realize now he knew if he degraded me verbally then I'd been gone. So instead he would disappear then come back tell me a story to get sympathy. My spirit knew better than to nag or to show anger so I didn't I actually wouldn't message him when I was angry. Now I know that was a very smart move. One thing I did tell him is.. his words and his actions didn't match if that didn't change then i'd be moving on. He agree'd his words and actions didn't match and said he'd be back that night ... I knew better so i said I'll see ya when I see ya... Sure enough lol nothing. So I blocked him without an email didn't say shit they don't deserve it fuck'em... Thank you for that confirmation as well. I was nervous to listen to you at first. Glad I did anyway. First time I've had clarity in 3 and half years.

[l.]

If they are a narc, it is 'the silent treatment'. A narc never WAS engaged so they cannot disengage.

[maxmaxs]

Super duper, HG Tudor. Bloody brilliant.