When a Narcissist Realized You Refuse to Be Controlled

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Tune in to hear the perspective of a self aware narcissist. That’s me - Ben Taylor a narcissist in recovery trying to promote awareness, healing, growth and change. I do that by these videos on here, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.

Platforms I am on:

[lindainphx]

He said "you've changed" and I said "Yes, I have! I'm done being a doormat!" And he said "You're crazy! I don't even know what you're talking about!" 😄 I divorced him 7 years ago and am so loving the peace and quiet of my calm home. No more hole punched walls and broken window panes.

[lizgantley]

Thank you thank you thank you
For 30 years I had NO idea what I was dealing with. I knew there was something wrong but I could quite figure it out. Then I discovered you. I googled his behaviors and one of your videos popped up. That day I cried for hours. I had finally a name for his condition.
My husband of 30 years is a textbook narcissist. I don't know whether I'm angrier at him or me. Regardless thank you for giving me the tools and clarity to make a start on my journey
Many many many thanks from Liz

[susanwilcox]

“You exist to serve me”.” There was an unspoken pressure for me to serve him and do whatever he wanted and to turn a blind eye on his crappy behaviors. It was nearly always one-sided.

[NathanSegal]

If they violate your boundaries, get rid of them.

[shelleyd]

They are all jerks. As soon as you state what you will no longer do you are called “controlling” and they become the victim. And other stupid people believe them. So get ready before you say it.

[averagejane]

The hopeless feeling of the turn tables conversation. You try to sincerely tell him how his behaviour makes you feel. You are not trying to make him feel bad...you just want to be heard and to see some changes....but instead you hear your words come back at you and he has "adopted" your feelings and has weaponized them against you in a false accusation. Stale mate. Those are the moments that I have cried in utter hopelessness...and he was stone cold. Irritated by my tears.

[amandarecoveryjones]

I responded to his text and said - "i have free will" 🤷🏻‍♀️ he sent essays upon essays about how disgusting snd such a disgrace i am (i only read one sentence) 😂😂😂😂😂😂. I had my bible next to me. I put my hsnd on it, smiled and said thank you father for saving me ❤❤❤❤❤❤ Feels so good to see the narcissist for whT he is, the Spirit of insanity. The lost spirit, the wandering spirit, i don't even see pride in him anymore. I see straight up

[KendraMorgan]

Yep! As long as I played the game, everything went relatively smoothly. Until, it no longer went smoothly.

[Chase_]

Today he blocked my car in a parking spot. I could see it was for control since I blocked him. He probably wanted me to come talk to him to move his car, and he would make me wait as long as he wanted so I couldn’t leave. Luckily, I was able to move my car out of the spot without talking to him 😂

[elizabethmorton]

when they realize they lost controle of you run.sht just got real and you might be in danger.

[etaokha]

The discard and block was worth it. 2weeks no contact because he walked away and never coming back. Am at peace 😊

[the_that_thing]

“I thought you were better than this”. She’s right…I am better than she thinks….

[effiemaccheyne]

I would not allow him in the hospital when I was there. He said I was trying to control him. I told him he's part right, I am controlling. I'm controlling what I let into my life.
The poop storm ensued. I was prepared for it. He was not. 💪

[Janeintheok]

Started no contact. Two weeks later, he had emergency abdominal surgery. I did NOT show up, call or text. Yet, he still tries to contact me, after 2 1/2 years. He's just pathetic 🙄

[divine.healing]

I hate when they use terminology that was associated with Narcissists against you. For example, "I walked on eggshells during our relationship because you (whatever it is) always got emotional or didn't agree with me or had something to say or wouldn't do what I said" whatever the situation they use former survivor language against you

[k.]

I dealt with this. He raged at me over text when i chose to leave. He said so many nasty things about me, to me.. and i blocked him. The next day, I got an "i love you" email. Oof! NOPE. Definitely didn't love me. Thanks for the video!

[aprilelizabeth]

They get angrier and angrier until they’re threatening violence?

That’s what the last nutjob I dated did.

[chocolatecookie]

Having dealt with a narcissistic wife whose condition of narcissism only increased I deeply respect you Ben for making the decision to change for the better. 👌🏻🥇
I moved heaven and hell to help my marriage move into a positive light but my wife was not cooperating an inch. Words cannot describe how big my dissapointments are after I came to realise that my wife was never going to change. A narcissist to me is like the Farao in the story of Moses. Tjere are so many similairities. The Farao was given chance after chance to surrender himself and change his ways. But because of his arrogance he kept refusing and denying and used his power to cause more damage. In the end he got destroyed. If the narc will not choose to change they will end like the Farao.
Again therefore so much respect for you, Ben. There are so many partners who wished to have a narc partner who is willing to make that change for themselves and as a result of that for their loved ones. 🙏

[susanmcmahon]

EXACTLY what my narcissist ex husband said, when I realised I was dealing with an narcissist i changed and then he told me that i had changed, which I did cause i decided not to be ABUSED ANYMORE and he didn't like this at ALL, he was furious but had to look out for myself for a change.

[rebeccastruth]

He said I'd changed and he didn't recognise me anymore. All that happened was I woke up to the control, emotional manipulation, and chaos. I still have to divorce him, but it's going to happen 😕