5 Reasons Therapy is NOT Working For You

Why isn't therapy working for you? Or does counselling actually work? I get these questions a lot. The truth is therapy is not a one size fit all, and there are many types of therapy from CBT to DBT to Parts Work to EMDR and so many more. Furthermore, there are therapists and counselors who specialize in different items you may have experienced or are suffering with. And so if you find yourself asking does therapy work or why therapy isn't working for you or does therapy actually work, the truth is you may need to change your approach to therapy. In this video I'll talk about the 5 reasons therapy may not be working for you.

What you will learn from this video:

The significance of the therapeutic relationship in therapy effectiveness.
The importance of honesty and authentic dialogue in therapy sessions.
The necessity of actively engaging in the therapeutic process outside of sessions.
Understanding and aligning personal goals with the purpose of therapy.
Recognizing and addressing internal resistance to change in therapy.

Join this channel to get access to perks:

MY BOOKS (in stores now)

ONLINE THERAPY

YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS

PARTNERSHIP

PLEASE READ
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room. MY BOOKS (in stores now)

ONLINE THERAPY

Join this channel to get access to perks:

YOU CAN SUPPORT THE CHANNEL BY SHOPPING WITH OUR AFFILIATE LINKS

PARTNERSHIP

PLEASE READ
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

[tiller]

11:20 "Often, in fact, the work of mental health is not about decreasing discomfort, but about increasing our tolerance for discomfort." This was the hardest lesson I learned in therapy.

[Aquarius_Chick]

My therapist asked me if I was scared to "get better" and I told him no I feel like I've lost hope that I will ever get better! I've been dealing with mental health issues since 12/13 years old and I just turned 41. I am on disability for my mental health diagnosis' and the place I go for mental health help is for low income patients. They have a HUGE turnover rate with therapists and prescribers! It's hard to "get better" when your doctor's are constantly changing and your new doctor thinks the medication you were on for years is now a bad fit and want to change it all around just for that doctor to be gone in a few months and now the new doctor disagrees with the last one. The same thing goes with the therapist. It takes A LOT for me to open up bc of childhood trauma and trust issues, etc and when I have to start all over again with a new therapist by the time I start to get comfortable with my new therapist they are now leaving and I am being passed on to someone else. Also if you don't fit well with your prescriber or therapist they want you to type out a email to the director of the company explaining why you want a different doctor/therapist and if they don't "agree" with your reasoning they will not allow you to see a different doctor/therapist there! I've looked all around my area for other doctors who accept my insurance and all the reviews are the same things I am complaining about at my current doctors office. It's sad that when it's too late everyone says "I wish they would have just asked for help!" Or something similar and yet there are so many REALLY trying to get help but this is the ONLY options they have available for help! I've even been told "maybe if you are struggling this much and feel like no one is helping, etc maybe we need to consider inpatient care!" That only makes me feel silenced kind of like "I better not complain and just go with what I have to so I don't get admitted!" And that's just to get some half ass, bare minimum help. I literally am going through losing not only my prescriber but also my therapist at the same time AGAIN! I've been going to this office since September-ish of 2020 and I have probably seen AT LEAST 8 prescribers and at least the same amount of therapists if not more! Why is it so hard to get help😞

[ebashford]

4:14 That was my experience with my most recent therapist. It felt like "therapy lite" as if I had recent problems and could get back on my feet with a little help. When you have chronic emotional problems going back to a damaging childhood, some therapists aren't ready to deal with that.

[vl_looper]

I wish I‘d known this 20 years ago. Tomorrow I‘m giving it another go, trying a new therapist. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

[treentje]

Before watching: it wasnt working for me when the focus was toooo much on negative emotions and I was overanalysing. This was exhousting me to the point of bringing me into a negative spiral.

[jourdanzz]

If you’re reading this, I want you to know it’s not your fault if therapy isn’t working for you. The fact that you even tried to do therapy shows how much you care to work through your troubles. Sometimes the therapist is not qualified or equipped with the right tools to guide you through your therapy journey, it’s not your fault. If you’re a highly self aware person (like myself), it can be even more challenging to find a therapist that has the skill set to work with a highly self aware person, it’s not your fault. Sometimes the therapist isn’t trained in the modality that you may benefit from, and that’s not your fault. This is also your reminder to not give up on yourself. Take what applies from this comment and leave the rest. Take what applies from the video, and leave the rest. Wishing everyone a successful healing journey 💕

[bethmorrell]

Sometimes a therapist is just bad at what they do or they get lazy at trying to help. A therapist needs to know when to communicate to you and ask questions when they might see these concerns that you mention ( like a bad fit or expectations) my experience has been a therapist did not let go of me and help direct me to a better situation when I was unaware of my choice to find a better fit or type of therapy. I expressed what I wanted and how I didn’t feel like I was getting what I needed yet the therapist ignored my concerns and kept cyclically repeating things. I thought it was me as the problem or I wasn’t trying hard enough but I wasn’t getting any guidelines, understanding my choices it was like I was just a paycheck. I did experience one very helpful therapist and this is when I realized how some therapist help to perpetuate a clients stagnancy. Your points are valid only only if you actually have a therapist who also is competent.

[thecreecher]

I work as a peer specialist for three different states in my area(Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana). The most common reason I hear therapy and treatment isn’t working for my clients is under qualified therapist. The therapist in my area that are really experienced and have been fully certified don’t take insurance and are too expensive for all my clients to afford. For example I live near Cincinnati a major city and there are only 12 therapist in the area that deals with did. Not a single one of those therapist take insurance and the average cost is 200 a session. So I set my clients with the best insurance will pay for, but they get dropped because the therapist can’t handle their complicated trauma.

[evieyak]

this is EXACTLY what i needed right now. literally was writing about it and writing to my therapist about it as this video popped up. thank you.

[daviddanielsson]

I started therapy in 2022 for C-PTSD. We're still in the first stage (of 3) "Safety and stabilization". It really is a long process. The extent may differ depending on what you're working on (I was prepared that it could take years, but then again it took me three and a half decades to get the right help).

So if all the other boxes are checked - give it time.

[MaduroMan]

Thanks so much for this. It helps to have a list to keep everything in check.
I go to therapy for PTSD and anger issues. There were times in the past that I'd blow up at people and it (obviously) effected my relationships. In the moment of therapy and the years it took, I didn't recognize that anything was happening or improving. UNTIL- numerous times in the past few months, I recognized moments that I would lose my temper but I actually stopped and asked myself why I was feeling this and I changed my outlook of the situation and didn't lose my temper. 
I shared this with my therapist and she explained to me what I was doing and I had that "head exploding" moment as she called back to things we talked about and things I said in therapy.
It was like the Karate Kid finally understanding why Mr Miagi had him do all this "wipe on wipe off" stuff. I didn't understand or think therapy was doing any good but in that moment of clarity, I realized how Ive changed my outlook and approach to things that I typically lost my cool over too now stop, recognize the anger, change how I react to it.

[flowerchild]

My ex therapist would have me come into sessions and then ask me how its going. It was like she expected me to lead therapy. She didn't follow up on anything that I told her previously. I had zero coping skills. She never took notes about what I said. I kinda felt like a number. I didn't get homework. She wasn't right for me. I need extensive trauma therapy. It's difficult to find a trauma therapist.

[ladybaabaa]

I personally find it VERY easy to talk about my feelings, thoughts and issues, but I don't know how to SHOW emotions and drop my "I'm good / ok / no problem / I get it" facade. 😢

[rita.amstlv]

Hi, I had a therapist who was jugdemental and said that I was the worst case
(case?) that she had come across. I am not a human but a case.
I did not feel a connection.

[KG]

The issue for me is meeting a new therapist (mine retired), and they want to start with my Teens (I am 50), and have been involved with therapy since 15 years old. It’s extremely frustrating

[audreysng]

Summary:
1. Wrong therapist
2. We are not honest in therapy
3. We're not doing the work
4. Our goals are not aligned with the purpose of therapy
5. Maybe we don't want to get better

[bipolarkeyboard]

Wow, cant believe your still making videos. This channel helped me so much in my journey. Thank you!

[paulensor]

I’ve watched loads of your videos (sorry I rarely comment!) but I just want to say, I think what you are doing is great, and in such a positive and supportive manner - just know you’re appreciated all over the world!

[slartiuk]

It's uncanny sometimes how the right video gets made for you just when you need it. Thank you for this. Suffering severe social anxiety among other things, it is something the I feel I don't want to get better from, because I don't want to be around people. I think the fix I'm looking for is more, how not to feel like such a bad human being for not feeling this need for social connection, which everyone else seems to extolle as something you can't be part of the species without feeling. For whatever reason that part is broken in me and I do feel it's who I am not a thing I have.

[gmansard]

I have done all these things and it's still never been effective for me. I really believe that I am a rare type that just does not benefit from it.

I REALLY have tried all these things! It just does not work for me.