We Need To Talk About Bisexual Erasure | Jacob Michael

Learn more about bisexuality:

⏰ TIMESTAMPS ⏰
00:00 0 Intro
01:28 1 Understanding bisexuality (What is bisexuality? What are some common misconceptions about bisexuality?)
06:53 2 How we erase bisexuality (What is bisexual erasure? The 3 levels of invisibility; How bisexuality is erased from the media and academia; The three methods of erasure by the gays & the straights [class erasure, individual erasure, delegitimation)
14:39 3 Why we erase bisexuality (The straight/gay dichotomy, the epistemic contract of bisexual erasure, the 3 political motivations of bisexual erasure)

[withneilw]

As a bi, a lot of women think I am gay and want a woman to mask. And a lot of gay men think I want them as a toy and I want a gf. I find myself attracted to other bi people because I'm less likely to get this rubbish from them

[destine]

Bisexual cis guy. When I first came out I thought I was 70/30 women to men. But as I took more time to understand myself I realize the shit changes so much. It really depends on the day haha. I am able to be attracted to everyone but at the same time my attraction is fluid. Look up the bi-cycle if you’re interested in this phenomenon.

[streetninja]

There's a reason so many bi people are closeted! Also, once you start noticing, its really hard to unsee how "straight or gay" is the vast majority of most discussions that bring up anything adjacent to sexuality.

[jrj]

I am a bi man who is not particularly “masc”. If it’s hard being a “straight-acting” bi man, it is impossible to live as a bi man if you don’t meet this standard of masculinity. Most people know me as gay, because I know there is just no point even trying to tell most people that I am bi when few would believe it and instead would just think I’m sad, repressed and deluded.

Yesterday I sat at a table of gay/queer men and women, and the topic came up of a (fem) guy who we previously knew as gay who has recently come out as bi; one guy at the table smirked that he “just doesn’t see it”, and several people immediately agreed. The subtext was clearly that everyone thought he was simply too gay to be bi. These are progressive people, LGBT people, and yet this is so typical. It’s intensely frustrating.

[isaacrosenthal]

As a bisexual cis man, it is very refreshing to see a gay man talk about this. Most of the erasure I've experienced has come from straight women, but I know gay men aren't completely innocent from bi erasure (also called biphobia) either. I think it is also important to realize that sometimes, especially in my case, the erasure comes from within. I struggled for years to put a label on myself because at first I had never heard of bisexuality, and when I did, I was told that bisexual people, especially bisexual men, are just gay and in denial. It took eight years after I first questioned my sexuality to come out as a result. My sexuality does lean gay so I still often question if I'm actually gay but I have developed crushes on women before.

[dixiechatty]

My best friend while I was growing up identified as bi and I accused him of not being able to truly come out as gay. It took me a long time to realize his truth. But eventually through decades of conversations, it finally got through my thick skull. Now, fortunately, I understand the spectrum of sexuality better. Not an easy lesson but a valuable one.

[eversongwoods]

As a bi guy, I appreciate you for doing this video. I've always struggled with dating straight women since I'm always seen as a confused gay or not masculine enough for them or whatever.. Some gay men also fetishize bi men since it slightly fits their straight guy fantasy

[ElizabethKlemm]

I am a bi woman and I appreciate you so much for this video. So well done. 💜

[Pollencakes]

When I joined the community in my early 20s I was called a traitor and a breeder because I am bisexual. I experienced bi-erasure and I didn't know about it until recently. I find a similar issue with the fact I identify as gender queer which is a type of non-binary but if I call myself non-binary people tell me I am not non-binary simply because I acknowledge feminine and masculine genders as a concept. When I act as clergy for my religion there are binary gender roles, that is just how the tradition is so when I act in that context based on what I do I fit a feminine role and take a feminine title. But even if I was biologically male based on the role I play I would have a feminine title. I only take on a gender when context dictates it and only because I can't change the world. It doesn't mean I am not non-binary, it just means society doesn't have norms that allow me to live as non-binary all the time. You know, other people exist. lol I think you did a good job explaining things from an outsider perspective. You helped me understand my experiences more by doing so, it was very validating. Thank you.

[swampmermaid]

I rate this video 10 out of 10 bisexual Ikea couches.

[barron]

Thank you. I am surprised by the amount of prejudice on the LGBT+ community. It is neither welcoming or accepting of Bi people. My experience was not good.

[jonnym.]

As a bi man, it feels very validating to see this video. Thanks for the wise words.

[samerafleek]

Holy crap. As a bi person, in my humble opinion you did an AMAZING job on this topic! 👏👏👏🏳️‍🌈⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ thank you!!

[nizhoni]

I'm doing a research paper on bisexual erasure for my first year of college, and your video has such a clear understanding. Thank you for producing it, this is just what I needed!

[rockshot]

Jacob this is by FAR your best post ever. I am going to watch it a third time, it is so packed with nuance. Very open minded overview, and loaded with food for thought.

[ivanvperez]

When you put Brian Jordan Alvarez, I knew this video was gonna be GOOD.

[twistedmind]

Thank you for talking about this! I'm a bi trans man and its wild to me how much people struggle to understand bisexuality. Plenty of people I know understand me being trans more than me being bi.

[chrisd]

Jacob, THANK YOU. As a bisexual cis man, you hit every nail on the head.

I agree that I unfortunately think most people are just uneducated when it comes to bisexuality. I understand that a lot of gay men use it as a stepping stone because they want to retain familiarity with opposite sex attraction, but it consequently indirectly harms us bisexual men who do actually have both opposite and same sex attractions.

As a result, straight women are hesitant to date bisexuals because they think we’re just closeted gay men or lesbians who haven’t yet accepted themselves.

I think we live in such a ‘black and white’ thinking society. Most things in life are on a scale, and sexuality is clearly one of those things. However, most people are lazy thinkers and would rather categorise people neatly into binary boxes. Of course, countless people are genuinely a 1 or 6 on the Kinsey scale, but equally there are plenty who are likely somewhere in between but may not want to admit it to themselves or the people around them because of societal pressure.

Also, this idea that some gay men I’ve encountered perpetuating that us bisexual people have ‘passing privilege’ really frustrates me. While yes, if I date a girl I may emulate a ‘straight’ relationship, but at the end of the day, IM NOT STRAIGHT. It just further adds to bisexual erasure!

Honestly, if I were leader of the world, id just do away with sexuality labels entirely. Whilst I know they’re important to symbolise pride and history, it also differentiates people and creates divide. I hope we can get to a place where it really doesn’t matter which sex or gender you date and it’s seen as completely normal!

Anyway, rant over haha, thanks again for the research and video.

[Sean-dlym]

In what universe does a mass movement that encourages every bi guy to live openly and proudly not benefit me as a gay man by vastly expanding my dating pool? To all bi men, I welcome you with open arms!

[KenHoodJr]

As a bi man...thanks for making this video.