The Trauma Paradox - Free Yourself From the Isolation of Feeling Defective/Other/Separate

// WHERE TO FOLLOW ME //

// 2023 CHANNEL UPDATE //

I’ve moved on from Mobility Mastery (self fascia release) in order to focus on teaching Kinetix, my method of root cause discovery for pain and dis-ease that involves partner fascia release as a “diagnostics” (and regeneration) tool. Kinetix is a complete scientific methodology that I teach to friends, partners and professionals alike inside The Kinetix Academy.

My other primary focus will be the launch and growth of a new podcast and Substack community called The Human Freedom Project.

// NEW CONTENT ON YOUTUBE //

Sometime in 2023 I will return to YouTube with HFP podcast episodes and content created to help you know and understand yourself as a whole organism made of body, soul and spirit. This content will feature the Kinetix methodology, pain science, fascia secrets I’ve learned from 15+ years in private practice, neuroscience and evolving beyond the brain, trauma and the body, and more! I’m excited to go on this new adventure with you.

*********** // VIDEO DESCRIPTION // **********

Trauma, in my life, meant I was “other/different/defective” and that was worst of all, certainly worse than anything I’d been through.

The idea that there was something so “wrong” with me (and not the rest of the world) that I needed to be sequestered in four square walls of privacy where this thing called therapy happens, was probably the most traumatizing. That idea, in combination with how my family treated me for so long - I was labeled dramatic, selfish, bitter, angry and clearly defective because I kept insisting on looking at the pain instead of focusing on the positives in our family history - created most of my actual trauma. Healing required that I decide, for myself, that my feelings were “normal,” and what doesn’t feel normal at all is burying our pain and creating mass stories of denial in order not to face it all. I had to stop participating in the cover-up.

Your story, no matter how different from mine, is probably similar (at least, I’m going to guess it is). Something in your childhood occurred (or maybe it was a string of events) and you decided not to tell anyone because that didn’t seem to be the way it’s done, so you kept it to yourself (not wanting to be “other,” separate or different). Or maybe you decided to tell someone, only to be scolded, shamed, laughed at or made the object of someone else’s shame, anger or fear. And that experience confirmed your suspicion that what you’ve been through is so different from the norm that it’s not even to be mentioned. You “toe the line” in order to maintain the illusion that everything and everyone is “normal” (as normal as can be), and there’s nothing lurking under the surface of the family/community that sure, has its quirks, but other than that is totally “fine.”

Today I am proposing that we’re facing a trauma crisis due to this paradox: the events themselves (violence, abuse, not feeling seen, sexual, verbal and physical assaults) aren’t actually that painful when we have someone (hopefully a whole family/community) there to embrace us, hold us, and carry that pain with us immediately after the event(s).

Trauma is what happens when we decide - either internally or because of external validation - that the events are shameful and make us defective, “other” and in need of sequestering away from “normal” society. Trauma is what happens when we don’t get to process the painful events of our lives fully, and bury them in our bodies, hearts and minds instead.

The antidote then is to embrace the idea that we’re all traumatized (to some extent), and to “normalize” trauma and come home to ourselves; to make our bodies the safest places we can exist instead of those four therapy walls where we have to pay someone to be with us in our pain.
The antidote is taking our rightful place in life and in our relationships, painful past events, emotions and all. We can’t afford to wait for the world to normalize trauma and tell us we’re not defective.

Imagine if every traumatized human right now decided to own their story and love themselves fully, decided to love other traumatized people equally and proudly hold hands together, declaring “these hearts are human, in all our pain and joys we are human.”

Please share your thoughts below, you know I LOVE hearing from you!

Elisha

[mcsus]

I wanted to hit that like button 100 times if I could! We r grateful for your efforts and clear meaningful content ❣️❣️❣️

[ultravioletpisces]

Trauma is a natural response. When people say they experienced something traumatic and they say they arent traumatized... that's when you know they are. It's not "normal" to feel ok about not ok situations.

[A.javeeezy]

YOU ARE AMAZING!!! I wrote you on IG but later realized your last post was mid last year, so I figured you wouldn’t see it before you’d see this. I cannot even begin to tell you the wrath my poor body has taken in my 31 years on earth. I was born into an extreeeemly toxic family which left me in a constant F.F.F., grew up morbidly obese with a connective tissue disorder which lead to constant pain. Fast forward to losing 140lbs and still being miserable, got hit with the motherload of betrayal trauma late 2018 after 10years of relationship/marriage. I literately withered away and turned to stone. My body was/is so foreign and I was having a plethora of ailments which no specialist could figure out. I started researching on my own and over the last 6 months have read so much about the fascia. Most of my googling of theories lead me to your videos. I am so passionate about this work and have been talking about it to everyone I know. They’re all getting sick of me but I believe this is THEEE answer for our “sick” world! Thank you for the knowledge you share! I’m definitely going to sign up for everything you offer because this is my new passion. 💖

[katielynneyoung]

Like many, I experienced big trauma growing up and my strongest desire was to be "normal ". I felt as if I were a monster or had a monster living inside me, that I feared could take me over and come out and physically hurt me or other people. I retreated and myself small, because I didn't feel that I could trusted. A strange experience for a person who is a natural extrovert. I did the rounds of therapy, prescription meds, Somatic Experiencing...I did it all, but nothing got at the very root of my problem until I realized exactly what you've just said today. Trauma is normal and that I'm not fragile. Not at all. I've chased this all the way down the rabbit hole and discovered that there were multiple causes, both physical and mental that were inextricably bound and that I had to relearn how to relate to my body, to people and to connect in a way that I had never allowed myself. I certainly feel, believe, that I came here to have these experiences and that I'm here to complete the cycle of trauma for myself, my family and to model the notion that we are powerful beings who can do this work for ourselves and know what it is to thrive. For me, there is definitely a spiritual component. When I truly embraced this as a Truth, the monster that I had dreaded for my whole life ceased to exist and I began taking my rightful place in the world, exactly as I am. I look forward to your thoughts and ideas in each new video and am grateful that you feel so strongly compelled to share what you've learned.

[annavillalpando]

I LOVE this video. Thank you for sharing!!!! What a beautiful message ❤

[languagelover]

I appreciate your content and effort you put on it so much. You cover Body - Mind - Soul Content!!!! Nice!!!! Good job awaking yourself and helping others wake up too!! ♥

[kirstymacfarlane]

I'm surprised you didn't mention animals, I thought that would've been, in my book before, after other humans. I loved this video and look forward to more. All my trauma comes from everything and I mean everything being blamed on my weight. Since I was a child the adults in my family, those who were feeding me, critised me. I was constantly told I'd be pretty if I'd just lose weight, imagine drumming that into an 8 year old. The first time I had trouble with my back was when I was 18, the Dr put his hands on the bottom of my spine, told me to bend forward, said you've got sciatica, you're overweight and here's some pain killers. Every entry, right up until I had an emergency op for cuada equina 9 years later, in my medical records my weight was mentioned. After that happened it's never been mentioned again in relation to my spinal conditions. The only time that it gets men is when I asked for help with weight loss. I struggle a lot and if it wasn't for my husband and our dog Valentine, I wouldn't be here. They're the only things that make me get up every day. I'm so grateful for them xx

[buttercup]

Our trauma is our greatest teacher. If we choose to use it as a tool instead of a weight to bear. Hard hard to do