Don’t chase happiness. Become antifragile | Tal Ben-Shahar | Big Think

Don’t chase happiness. Become antifragile, with Tal Ben-Shahar

Antifragility is the idea of putting pressure on a system, or human, the system or human actually grows bigger and stronger.

Antifragile systems are all around us. One example of this is our muscular system. We go to the gym to lift weights. By doing so we are putting pressure on our system to help it grow stronger. The human body is an antifragile system.

From a psychological perspective, antifragility comes in the form of PTG, or post-traumatic growth. After we experience a stressful event, we learn and grow to become more resilient.

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About Tal Ben-Shahar:
Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar is an internationally renowned teacher and author in the fields of happiness and leadership. After graduating from Harvard with a BA in Philosophy and Psychology and a PhD in Organizational Behavior, Tal taught two of the most popular courses in Harvard’s history: Positive Psychology and The Psychology of Leadership. He then taught Happiness Studies at Columbia University. A prolific writer, Tal's books have appeared on best-sellers lists around the world and have been translated into more than 30 languages.

Tal is an avid sportsman and a certified yoga instructor whose work bridges Eastern and Western traditions, ancient wisdom and modern technology, science and art.

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Read more of our stories on happiness:
Epicurus and the atheist’s guide to happiness
The meaning of happiness, according to a baker in ancient Pompeii
How to avoid “toxic positivity” and take the less direct route to happiness

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Want more Big Think?

[bigthink]

What ways can you think of to become antifragile?

[Thorny_Misanthrope]

“I do not believe things always happen for the best, but I believe we can make the best of what happens.”

[axnyslie]

Antifragility is the key. As the Buddhists say "Existence is Suffering" if you try live your life in a bubble avoiding everything that causes anxieties, then it will always have control over you.

[emilysmith]

I love that this video actively avoided toxic positivity. “I do NOT believe that things happen for the best, but we can learn to make the best of things that happen.”

[riccuuuhhh]

"When we appreciate the good in our life we have more of it" Affirmation

[thereisa]

“There are only two kinds of people who don’t experience emotional pain, the first kind are psychopaths and the second kind are dead.” - well, Sir, you have my attention.

[idt]

"Get comfortable being uncomfortable."

one of the best pieces of advice i ever received.

[rosemacintyre]

The most important thing I’ve learnt so far this year is that building self confidence is key to happiness. I was so self critical and insecure for so long and would constantly look for outside sources of validation. It was a roller coaster that took me to some very high highs and some VERY low lows. Now that I’ve started to accept myself for who I am and have stopped relying on others to make me feel good about myself, I’m in a much healthier place.

[chiefaaron]

the analogy between indirectly pursuing happiness and looking at the constituents of sunlight is just so damn amazing!!

[bunnyfrosting]

I was born disabled and became chronically ill at 12 years old, I am 22 now and have learned the hard way that life does not always get better, sometimes things somehow just get much worse, even with brute-force-positivity and countless nights of wishful thinking. I find the less that I specifically make time to validate myself, the more guilty, angry & confused I feel in life, for some reason we are taught that “victimizing ourselves” is bad, but I think suppressing your true emotions is just detrimental. The more I acknowledge how bad my life is at times, the more I am able to also focus on the happy things I do have, it took me a long time to understand that some people need that balance! Strictly focusing on the positives isn’t for everyone, especially when your basic needs can’t be met. I definitely wouldn’t say eating dark chocolate feels like a fair trade to being bed bound for weeks on end, but hey, the point is that I have finally learned to feel very thankful for the little things that bring me happiness. This was a lovely reminder that resilience looks different case to case

[lukas]

“The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, while the wise man grows it under his feet”

[smoookey]

I hope the fearnots who entered this video because of lesserafim actually learn a lesson from this. Besides, this is the message the song wanted to convey. We should embrace it.

[andrejohnson]

I like how he presents himself as a student first and then a teacher

[jsherrier]

“Health is the greatest gift,
contentment is the greatest wealth,
a trusted friend is the best relative,
Liberated mind is the greatest bliss.” The Buddha

[Themis]

The root cause of many peoples unhappiness is ungratefulness. They have no idea how lucky they are and take everything for granted. If you have a home, food on the table, people who genuinely love you and are there for you, people to talk to, and a purpose in life, you are richer than you'll ever know.

[mathewgeorge]

"Gratitude is the mother of all virtues, when we appreciate the good in life, we have more of it "

[MahmudForever]

Managing expectations is like 50% of happiness

[lifemakeovers]

Ben Shahar: I am student and a teacher. I like that introduction.

[letsliveon]

*happiness is clearly a good thing, but valuing it as a good thing is problematic.* that speaks volume.

[coconutcore]

I try not to chase happiness, I try to actively enjoy it when it’s there and wait patiently when it’s not. It works wonders. You’ll feel tons happier in both of those situations.
You take time to appreciate joy, which is a very joyful thing and you’ll realise when you’re unhappy that the sun comes up again and you’ll have those moments to look forward to eventually.