How To Overcome Fear Of Confrontation

Confrontation is uneasy and sometimes we try to avoid it when we really shouldn't. Here's to help you understand why you fear confrontation and how you could overcome it.

Watch and Enjoy!
Randy Soderquist

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Video by Nate Woodbury

[ButerWarrior]

I’m afraid of confrontation because I don’t want to embarrass myself by showing that I’m afraid of confrontation. Infinite loop.

[NazThReman]

The fear is not necessarily the confrontion itself, it could last for a few seconds to a few minutes. The problem is the aftermath of that confrontation, it could esaclate into something worse; you create enemies that you didn't expect or realize and you develop this anxiety that you lost the argument or fight. They start doing or saying things behind your back. I hate confrontation because I constant get tounge tied and don't know what to say coming off like an idiot, I get depressed from embarrassment.

[rik-keymusic]

What i understand is that this fear comes from an event in our childhood, like most of the crap we have to deal with in adult life... If you had a healthy environment in which standing up for what you believed in as a child was good and not punished, i don't think you struggle that much. If you grew up in an environment who hurt you if you stood up it's another story. I noticed PTSD like symptoms in confrontation. It's like your rational thinking is gone out of the door and you freeze up. You can't think rational and shoot in emotion or completely freeze up. The root cause is probably childhood trauma an so if we know that, we can look for tools that help us to get over these issues.

[fortnitemane]

I’m getting better at this everyday it all about taking the smaller battles and not always being kind ❤

[mathiasfantoni]

Thanks you so much, sir. It really helped me to realise that it is not my responsibility how people choose to feel if I tell them something. I don't intent to make them feel anything, I just want to be honest with them about what I think, and how mine and their beliefs differ. It's honestly very neutral. And if they choose to feel offended, I did not offend them. They chose to feel offended. So my fear of "offending them" is really an invalid fear, because I'm not offending anyone. I cannot be not in charge of how they choose to feel. I should say what's on my mind…

[abhishekbarla]

This comes to me at a time of personal crisis. Thank you for creating this, its profoundly insightful and helped my confidence.

[markblaze]

I would guess my fear comes from multiple outcomes, but the underpinning fear is that of not being liked. I just expressed some frustration over some over-time compensation I am owed with a lady in pay-roll. I spent the next two hours unable to function as I was overcome with terror that I have just upset this lady who is not actually at fault. A momentary burst of confident frustration turned into my worst panic attack of the week. Later on she responded, in what I read as an upset tone. I responded back to apologize for being rude. She told me she didn't think I was rude, she never thought that the frustration was directed at her, and she agrees that it is an obviously frustrating situation. Now I feel very foolish for spending hours paralyzed with fear over a situation that turned out to be entirely in my own stupid head.

[RegIsCoolYT]

Understand that the reason you want to confront a situation is because you are not happy. If you get in trouble for saying how you feel, you wont be happy then, but youre not happy now. At least in this new situation you've gotten your point across so there's room for new dialog instead of living in a "death loop" repeating the same patterns and building resentment

[cindyski]

I guess it stems from when I was a child. A person would raise their voice at me and I would feel destroyed inside. I just couldn’t take it. Adults around would not think before they would yell at me for dealing with me. Instead of asking me what’s wrong with me or anything about what I may be going through, they would lash out. Not knowing that I was slow or I just couldn’t understand something. I was a clueless and ignorant kid. I couldn’t think properly. My confidence since then has been destroyed. I’m 49 and can’t overcome this still.

[JHilariosaH]

As a child, and even now, I have always feared my dad. He was and still is emotionally neglectful. Every time there’s a setback, he criticize me. No wonder I can’t speak my mind.

[Ashley-cbth]

Thank you for this video! I’m a survivor of abuse and I struggle very much with confrontation, even the smallest most insignificant things I will not directly address for fear of some sort of negative consequence. It could be that I don’t want a person to dislike me, I don’t want to ruin a moment or a relationship. But like you said the person’s reaction is out of my control. I’m just doing what I need to do and what I think is best, rationally of course.

[СергијеСимић]

I've watched 5-6 videos on this topic, and this is the best one for me. I got the answers I didn't get in the most watched videos about the fear of confrontation.
I need to watch this video again to take notes, there are several a-ha moments for me.
I didn't have in mind the fear of not getting what I want, and the fear of making other people angry or upset. I think these are the biggest ones for me.
Great video, huge value. Thank you for sharing this.

[Brouwer-]

Thank you so much sir. You have given me the answer I have been looking for. I have been full of resentment, fear, anxiety and stress, just because I have decided to remain silent in order to avoid confrontation. I think it is high time I start telling some people how I really feel and to stand up for myself. Really, thank you!

[chococola]

My reasons are the same as stated in this video i've never been in a fight or conflict since childhood and was an introvert kid and now after all these years my mom was frustrated with my being silent and introverted so i started getting out of my comfort zone but i am always afraid of getting hurt or hurting someone.

[JesusSavesSde]

I’m afraid of confrontation because I fear what’ll happen if I get in trouble

[eileenmcdonnell]

I can relate to this been brainwashed as a child parents fighting

[banderas]

I really like the last few parts of this video. Thanks. I been getting way better on being ok with confrontation. Sticking to facts not letting my emotions taking over 💪🏾

[MrBelmosa]

This was clearly communicated and much needed. I see now that validation from others was driving the fear of confrontation. My affirmation: I am speaking my mind freely and effortlessly for the greater benefit of all

[terrencemilton]

Sometimes it's best to have the conversation directly.

[leeannehart]

I never thought that avoiding confrontation, can break down a relationship. I think it started in my marriage. My ex was very abusive, so I just used to switch off. I would just give in to what he wanted. I eventually left him. I am now in a relationship and I am doing tge same thing.

I know that I want to be liked by everyone but I did not care whether my ex did or not. When there is conflict with my partner, I literally switch off, I cannot think. I have this blank look on my face. I need to change this. 😩