Motorcyclist Who Identifies As Bicyclist Sets Cycling World Record

The Babylon Bee identifies proudly the inspiring true story of the first motorcyclist who identifies as a bicyclist. This is... Switching Gears: The Norm Hiccup Story. Please give us awards.

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[burieddreamer]

I identify as a millionaire. I'm a transwealth. Yet every time I walk into the bank to make a withdraw, or I try to buy properties, or get new credit cards, etc, I'm laughed at and ridiculed. I feel really depressed about that. People are intolerant and there is a lot of hate. I'm surrounded by transwealthphobic people.

[ogenmatic]

Face it folks. Norm’s bicycle is much heavier than the bicycles of his competitors and he STILL crushes them! A true hero & an inspiration to us all.

[mohammadtausifrafi]

Why cannot a person just identify as the winner? End this discrimination already.

[Headstones]

im so inspired by this i bought a forklift and starting my power lifter career

[Ieatpaste]

Motorcycles have no advantage over bicycles. This man is stunning and brave.

[protorhinocerator]

He's showing us his truth. He's a constant victim of the bicyclegemony and the pedalarchy but he never stopped his struggles.
That means he's a hero.

[AlexRides]

If Norm doesn't qualify for Tour De France, we riot.

[sheild]

I can only imagine all the looks Norm gets in the locker room before each race when all the other cyclists are putting on their skin suits, and Norm is putting on his leathers, it must be very uncomfortable for him, but he yet still gets out there and competes with grace and dignity!

[jcmafia]

I used to be considered obese. But I started identifying as slim. I'm now a translender.

[oilieds]

Inspirational! I was a 225 lb., 6'2 mediocre hockey player. My wife reminded me that I have the maturity of a 12 year old, so now that I identify as such, I'm knocking the crap out of all the other inexplicably smaller 12 year olds in peewee hockey. Thanks Norm.

[thenewguy]

This resonates with me because I identify as someone who doesn't owe any taxes. Finding understanding and acceptance is a constant uphill battle.

[wildwestjanbutcher]

My birth certificate says I’m 61, but my birthdate is just a number “assigned” to me at birth. I identify as a 67 year old, so where’s my pension!

[cyancapsulesgone]

The real problem is that Norm's bicycle was arbitrarily ASSIGNED the designation motorcycle at the time of production. The machinists failed to wait until they saw if the bike FEELS LIKE a bicycle or a motorcycle.

[edcrfvtgbyhnujmikolpqazwsx]

I'm not a mechanic, so I can't tell what a motorcycle or a bicycle is. If he identifies as a bicyclist, he must be one. I'm an ally of the transvehicle community.

[davekendall]

Fact Check: Experts in transvehiclism have debunked the claim that a 200hp engine provides any competitive advantage. Transbicyclphobes are simply opposed to greater diversity in bicycle races.

[yangerjamir]

This comment thread is the best I've ever come across on YouTube.

[tareksadmi]

Bicycles and motorcycles are social constructs! Let him be his true self! Live YOUR truth Norm! Stunning and brave

[brianh]

This is what real athletes look like. What an amazing story, and bravery.

[carissstewart]

Clearly Hiccup has an unfair advantage:
He had embraced him true self while all the losers focused on pesky things like facts.

[datgriffcray]

I showed this video to my 6 month old old and he said “being a cyclist is a social construct rooted in patriarchial racism.” I couldn’t be more proud 😢