Parent, step parent and step child triangular relationships

When a parent remarries and brings a step parent into a child's life, that new parent becomes the third prong in a triangular relationship that can be very difficult to live with.
The step parent may compete for the biological parent's attention and care, causing havoc in the parent-child relationship. The step parent may attempt to win over the love of the step child, making the biological parent feel like the policeman and shunned. The step parent may demand all the focus from the biological parent, leaving the child excluded - who may then act out or regress.
This type of triangular relationship can be damaging for the child in the short and long term, and destabilize the family set up. Watch this video for a real life example of the effects on one child of having a step parent who became possessive and controlling and affected her life for ever.

[Zaynyak]

I would like to here about the damage a step child can do on your relationship

[angelaal]

You are literally the only person I can find explaining triangulation in this way. This is my life. Husband and stepson against me (stepmom). If you can offer me anymore insight or other sites where I can read about this I would appreciate it. Thank you

[christiedukes]

This was so eye opening for me. As a new step parent of teens (2 boys 1 girl) and a bio mom to 2 adult sons it has been hard. I thought it wouldn’t be hard since I’d already raised mine but it’s hard and this is so on point and is helping me. Thank you.

[backwoodsl]

I’m married I’m a stepfather to my 16 year old daughter this is true I just had to tell my wife I will stand down when it comes to making decisions for her child

I’m being a excellent step father I’m giving my step daughter life long good advice providing for her like no other have ever in her life make sure o give her great knowledge, I make sure she have everything she need and mom is jealous even tho I provide for my wife also

All in all I had to tell my stepdaughter that I can no longer have an input when I come to you she was upset I told her that but I told her there is nothing I can do about it because I’m just a father figure and not your father

[FS]

You cannot discipline a child that u do not even love. Children feel it. Happened to me it cause hatred towards my own bio parent and i ended up hating my bioparent. The abuse the step caused to me and he tried get rid of me

[jenmurphy]

I never dated anyone since my ex and I split. I’m waiting until my child flees the nest. My ex and I broke up when my son was 3. He’s now 17. He asked me 3 years ago why I didn’t date. I said because I was waiting until he moved out. My son said “thank you”. Your child should be number one. Wait. They don’t need to see a revolving bedroom door.

[FriedaShigwedha]

I’m not married yet but my partner and I have a child of our own and he has two girls before us. And being the step parent really hasn’t been easy. What’s the most difficult is trying to set boundaries to protect myself when I’m hurt. And that’s when I realize that maybe I shouldn’t over extend myself too much but neither should I hold back. Like I don’t know where I stand, when I should be involved or not, when is it too much, or not enough. It would be great to hear some advise from others too.

[ScottHachey-wpxz]

You need to talk about narcissism. The stepfather you spoke about at the end was a narcissist destroying the family. That's literally my life. I'm using my boyfriends you tube my name is Ashley. I just turned 40 and I'm not married or have any kids. It destroyed my life. Only now after learning all of this do I fee like I have hope for a normal life.

[rebeccab]

Wow, wow wow, this was so eye opening!!

[stephaniemcbroom]

My dad is remarried to a narcissist and he always is taking up for her sad actually wether right or wrong.. luckily I've been visiting as an adult for about six months...I'm hitting the road soon...so unhealthy relationship between the two...

[Indigo_newness]

It happens with me and I'm 50 he is so insecure my mother has always put men first instead of her children I've been dealing with this since I was 10

[niiwelbeck]

Thanks Dr Jeanette Raymond you highlighted most of my problems I had
In the latter part in your presentation. My biological dad had never seen me and never wanted to. My step father also did maltreated me. I feel am the problem child in the family I at feel my mother has rejected me my need were not properly cared for, want and desires were never considered.

[deemeece]

After I divorced I had one relationship. After we split.. I married England so to speak, I chose my kids before anything and anyone. However my childrens father has had a new baby in our old house with a woman who suddenly brought in her own child then a foster child. This step mom was once optimistic and loving is now calling my son names, acting out aggressively throwing things and pushing unrealistic punishments. My eldest hates her. My little guy is soft hearted and forgives her. I don’t know how to advocate without budding in.

[FS]

Or the step parent is jealous of the child! Which is more

[victoriousneish]

1:05 i get what you're saying but when 2 people marry (children or not), they become one. Their souls and spirits are 2 in 1, they now share the same dna maritally. That shouldn't be forgotten. Anyone who truly loves their spouse would naturally love the children who are a part of them.

[aprilstaley]

23 year relationship and i learned my husband was leaving me because son wouldn't be around me anymore but honestly don't know what I have done

[cherylschumaker]

Do you take visual sessions and if so how much ?

[annafisher]

Even when they are adult age it’s very sad.

[alexiskoroi]

She want to be strong to believe this 3th man

[ugottaphilgeez]

I need help!!! i dont know what to do with my 11yd son and my girlfriend who is the mother of my daughter