How Your Authoritarian Parents Affect Your Mental Health

HOW YOUR AUTHORITARIAN PARENTS AFFECT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH// If you minimize yourself when dealing with conflict and struggle with a fear of authority, chances are that you built those patterns due to growing up in an authoritarian household.

But just because it's been many years since you've moved out does not mean that the problem has disappeared. Those patterns follow you even into adulthood - and the solution is having to diver deeper and properly process the childhood experiences that caused them in the first place.

I hope you enjoy the video! I'm right there with you.

Asha

For those of you who finally want to overcome social anxiety and shyness so you can finally start confidently expressing yourself, being assertive, and creating meaningful professional relationships, book your free strategy call with me here:

DISCLAIMER: Any information or advice I give is purely based on my own experience and research. There is no guarantee as there are many variables that will impact your success. Everything stated should be taken as opinion.

Keywords:
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Asha Jacob

[kuunami]

Imagine if they held themselves to the same standards they hold their children.

[biulaimh]

My Mom was a dictator. There was a fair bit of emotional trauma and physical beatings were quite regular. She wanted us to be presentable all the time. I think what was lacking was unconditional love and kindness. She tried teaching us stuff by beating us to learn. Even as a young child I could see she was emotionally immature. Most of us turned out okay but I think we all regret how we were raised.

[jesusjr]

Anytime I would cry they would get mad at me crying I’m like wtf

[Rainjojo]

I never found a YouTube video that depicts my toxic parent so perfectly. For a minute I felt lonely and couldn’t quite pinpoint my problems because they’re all jumbled in my head, but this is the closest thing I’ll ever relate with. Even as i get older my parents became less physically abusive, but I won’t ever forget what they put me through.

[bananian]

I realized I've never made a single life decision on my own. I just take whatever comes to me like driftwood.

[paulallen]

This is me. I was raised by authoritarian parents who shamed me for being beaten by my baby brother, because as the older brother, I should be able to overpower him instead of screaming for help. My brother was a natural athlete, I hated sports, he was many times stronger than me and they wanted to fix that by shaming me for being weaker. As a man, being shamed for being physically weak stings extra hard.
They shamed me for my academic performance as a child, they shamed me for not behaving the way they saw fit in social settings, they shamed me for having bad motor skills, they even shamed me for my choice of spouse. They wrote my ex-wife out of their will because of her religion and because she put her foot down when they made demands on how to plan to our own wedding.
As a result of this, my romantic life and my professional life has been suffering greatly because of the anxiety. I limit contact with my parents as much as possible.

[OnafetsEnovap]

There is nothing more I hate in the world than a bully... and authoritarian adults are bullies, mostly having had rough childhoods themselves... but I am not without a heart, for I try to pity them, reason with them, bring out their humanity if I can.

[karaokay]

My problem is that when I think about my childhood and what I’ve been robbed of I can not let it go. I do allow myself to feel the emotions but it’s hard to put it behind me and move on. I don’t know if I ever will

[raeuch]

This is me so much I feel like crying. I have been searching for what’s wrong with me and why I am the way I am

[mdzs_butterfly]

Authoritarian parents gangsta until I flaunt my amazing relationship with my firm but loving, affectionate, kind, supportive parents

[Miss_Vee]

Fear of conflicts and authorities, literally became the theme in my life and made me feel loser, till I got shut down and realized it was never my fault.
All the adult kids who got these parents, You did amazing surviving all that!
You can still improve, don't give up. ! Sending you much love 💕🤗😘

[anastaciafrizzell]

I got my degree in nursing and told my mom I got a job offer at an assisted living I used to work at, and she said “I’m going to be really embarrassed telling people you work in a nursing home”

[magicwandm]

Tbh my friend's parents make me feel much better than my own parents

[jaky]

Thank you for making this video. My 1st generation south asian mother was very overbearing to the point of causing me unnecessary anxiety/depression all throughout my adolescence/early 20’s living with her. She was also very emotionally codependent and felt entitled to dump her inter generational trauma into her children whenever she couldn’t have a handle/control of her own marriage/life as an able bodied adult. Both of my parents neglected their own self care/mental health and tried to seek outside validation from friends/family as means of helping to fill a void of their loneliness/marital advice…

[elektravondoom]

I HAVE NEVER RELATED TO A VIDEO MORE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!! It feels like you just described my entire life. Everything you said was so so so accurate. Thank you for helping me understand a little bit more about myself

[rum-ham]

I can relate to having had no/little contact as an adult and recently thinking that after 20+ years they seem to have calmed down and changed but after re-engaging recently I'm discovering that they really haven't changed all that much. Thanks for the advice on ways to deal with the past.

[arielsbeloved]

I’m a parent, not authoritarian. I noticed my kids have their own characters. I want to see them flourish. When my kids made mistakes, I talked to them when they calm. I want to understand my kids. why they do what they do, What triggered them and what made them make those decisions. “Do what you told” is really not my style, but do you know why it’s hard? Not the kids but mostly other parents and sometimes teacher, think I don’t discipline my kids when they don’t hear shouting and punishing. They don’t see or hear “talking”…

[chryssanthistell]

I am staying with my 90 year old mother in our house in the village for the summer because I started working in a place nearby. Previously I had expectations that we could manage to have a mother-daugher relationship. Now I have put an armour so that to be prepared for her attacks. For example, I come home from work and she has prepared lunch. Since it is a plain food she says "I would have also boiled some eggs but you are difficult, so I didnt". Such a simple phrase but the meaning is outrageous. This time I will try to just see it and ignore it and focus on the possibliities my stay in the island gives me!

[benroberts]

Hit the nail on the head. My dad does like all of this (not abuse). It makes me so annoyed! My mom is more lenient, but my dad is stubborn and condescending and it makes me really uncomfortable and sad all the time. He gs like how he is the adult and I am the child. He punishes me for not hanging out with him. There are so many rules (curfew, chores, when we can or cannot do things.) He yells but gets mad when we yell. If we question what he says, he brings us down. But, just 3 more years… yay.

[magicwandm]

Umm why do parents who need therapy don't go to therapy