4 TIPS to Having a Healthy Relationship - Mended Light.

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4 TIPS to Having a Healthy Relationship - Mended Light//

Today, we learn 4 tips to having a healthy relationship. We all want those relationships which feel so good and healthy but that's not always the case. Sometimes, we need to work on it or make adjustments.

If you are stuck in a cycle of abuse or a neglectful relationship then these tips might help you (someone you know). There's also a way to avoid unhealthy relationships if you are single and looking for that special someone. Watch this video and learn what these 4 tips are so you can start your healthy relationship today!

#HealthyRelationships
#4tipstohavingahealthyrelationship
#mendedlight

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We hope you liked this video! Leave a comment below and let us know!

MendedLight
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My best tip for avoiding bad relationships: hold a mental picture of your partner at their worst, dark-side behaviors; next— imagine them turning those behaviors on YOU. If you can tolerate it, then you’re probably OK. But never say, “he/she would never treat me that way!” Oh, yeah, they will.

maryaigler
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I love that Jonathan is a real licensed therapist who charges to help families, couples, etc. Yet offers the world free videos. You can tell that he chose this career from a place of love and wanting to help others and not just for the money. Thank you for these videos ❤️ And I love you and Alan in Cinema Therapy as well!

LdyShadow
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Here's something I'd add to the list since I learned this and i see a LOT of people doing this: Don't be in a relationship with someone's future self. People have to WANT to learn, to grow, and change. You cannot make them into what you see them to be. You can't just love away bad behaviour. It's above your pay grade, instead, refer them to mended light.

thejato
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For those who want the list of tips AFTER seeing the video 😉

1. 1:25 Don't allow your level of touch to exceed your level of committment
2. 2:28 Don't trust someone more than you know them
3. 3:26 Be the type of person that you want to attract
4. 4:30 Build a life worth living on your own

Thank you for your incredible work! ❤️

NanaNushka
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Favorite concepts- "if you are swimming in a sea of loneliness and don't know how to swim, you will grab onto the first slimy piece of driftwood that passes your way.". And "You trust the IMAGE you have created of that person, not the person since you don't know them yet".

JocieFire
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A red flag in a developing relationship is if they don't want you to meet friends/family (either theirs or yours) or if they treat you differently when you're around others than they do while you're alone

PhantomStella
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My guidline is:
If you feel that your partner wants you to be more confident - Green flag
If you feel that your partner is working on make you less confident (even just if they get mad if others show affection to you) - Red flag

katalintoth
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I'm going to be unbelievably soppy and say I think I found my "soul mate" at the age of 28 and they were someone that I went to school with who had never really clicked before. We both had these intense emotions and misunderstandings but working to grow as individuals and that I think is a big part of it working better. Learning to accept people can change and go with the flow.

angeprkr
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Haha, true. Had to accept to be on my own to find the courage to tackle the world on my own. Stepping into the unknown is good when it's to chase your dream, not your future spouse. So the first time I met my now husband, my brain said "I'm not ready yet!" because I had gotten used to spending 100% of my free time working on my goals. Good thing perfectionism didn't get in the way, but I sure could have used some extra months for a better foundation in retrospect.

Saalach-Spiele
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Learn non-violent communication and be in-tune and mindful of your own emotions or triggers. These go a long way in helping develop healthy dynamics in your relationship

bowiekung
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Thank you for creating this channel! My own strategy: right in the beginning of the friendship or first conversations, if the person pressures me into doing tiny things that I don't want to do, just for the sake of their own amusement or pleasure (but never mine), that person is out of my life. Usually, when I say "No", they react like spoiled little brats and pressure more. Ex "I want to see you in X dress and Y shoes. Go get them." No, I won't. And I cut off all possibilities of communication. Don't be diplomatic with this type of person. They don't get it that way. :) It's actually healthy to be unapologetic in this case. Just leave them and be happy. You'll be saving room for better friends and future healthier relationships.

aletseaniram
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Great advice. I actually didn't meet my husband until after going through this terrible cycle of abuse, neglect and lying in my relationships. And it wasn't until I decided to stop dating and focus on bettering myself by going to group therapy and trying to be a better mom. I literally met him in group therapy and we became friends first. Of course once we started dating we had to be separated into different group therapy groups. TBH though I have never met anyone I felt so comfortable with that I knew I could tell anything and they wouldn't criticize or judge too harshly. He is my best friend and we have our struggles but we work through those together even if it means going back to therapy and that is one of the things I love about him is he understands that therapy is an option and not a bad thing.

sonyaloeraable
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Don’t ignore your gut. Trust me. If your brain and heart are telling you “this relationship is not what I want” and you are actively avoiding that feeling, you should find out why and make sure it is handled healthily for both you and your partner.

TeriyakiTakeout
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1. Coming outside. Don’t look, but keep a subtle eye out and do stuff with friends or alone. Go to the gym or…idk…pottery workshops. Anything. Especially something really specific that you’re interested in. Those things are great for finding good matches and also good friends.
2. Being open about your interest in people. Especially simply by pointing out what you like about them casually in stead of saying it literally. Being honest about it (which includes not exaggerating), but don’t push. You like them, there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s attractive if someone is casually open about thinking you’re great. As long as you’re not creepy about it, it’s nice even if they’re not interested.
3. Don’t cringe when I say: OMG WHY ARE PEOPLE SO AFRAID OF BEING WITH FRIENDS!?
Sometimes you get to know someone as friends and suddenly consider “you know…they might actually be a great partner”, because you know them well and know that they’re great and reliable. And that’s hot in a more meaningful way.
No, not just any random friend is someone you can have a romantic relationship with, but if you both realise there could be more, to hell with “ruining your friendship”. That’s mostly only a thing because people think it is. Unless you’re a douche and/or you have bad taste in friends, your friends are exactly the people you can be honest with and talk about that IF YOU SAY IT RIGHT. No, that doesn’t mean that if they say no you have to stop talking to each other. There’s other options. And if you did try a relationship and it’s not working out after all, you need to be friends to work it out in a healthy way anyway and hoping to become friends after you started is a gamble. No, no one’s exactly the same person as a friend than as a partner, but figure it out if it’s the wrong kind of different. Take it slow, take a step back or pull the ripcord if you need to. When you do, if either of you needs it, take a break after the relationship, but be clear that you want them in your life as friends again in a few months (or longer, or not). One of my best friends is an ex girlfriend of mine. We trusted each other and worked well together, but it fizzled out, so we talked it over and let each other go to let each other move on. After a while, we just started talking again and there was never anything awkward or anything romantic about it, but the friendship had lasted. My current girlfriend was a good friend first, then a girlfriend. It is without a doubt better and healthier than anything I could have ever imagined. We have never had any fights, because we’re friends who want to listen first and foremost. We support eacht other through our problems and try to fix our flaws. We know the other person isn’t trying to hurt us ever, because we’re friends too. We trust each other. The ONLY good relationships are the ones in which you’re friends to some extent.
Is it going to be awkward if you’re friends first? Yes, but you might be overestimating how awkward. Can you get over awkwardness together? Depends on your kind of friendship and your personality. Which brings me to…
4. DO NOT under ANY circumstances expect anything to be like in the movies. It can be, but don’t expect it to be. (This doesn’t just apply to the friends thing, forget that for now.) It’s not necessarily going to be a perfect first date. You might say their name wrong or talk about farting for five minutes because you were stressed out. The first kiss might not be great, their breath will smell like the salami they ate two hours earlier. Sex will, as they often say, make funny noises (which can also be part of the fun) or they’ll starfish or be a quick shot or something. Your wedding could…no…WILL be a horrifying mess which you get to enjoy for a whole five seconds before your partner’s aunt and uncle come to congratulate you and give their two cents about how to have a great marriage like them *cough*.
5. Sometimes you just can’t control yourself and start shouting, but in truth there is NOTHING that can’t be worked out with a calm conversation. If you’re too frustrated to have it, say “stop, I want to talk about it later, but I’m too emotional at the moment”. If saying things like that is awkward to you, do it anyway. If you saying it is awkward or even something to raise an eyebrow over for your partner, that’s slightly worrying, but not a disaster. Ignore it. Do it anyway.
Open conversations, see why you need to be friends (wether it’s from before or after you started the relationship)? If you’re not and can’t become friends with your partner, your relationship is supported by nothing and I wish you good luck in avoiding having fights more often than geniune support and understanding.
Do you find it weird to hear the word friendship mixed in with romance? The media has raised you wrong. It does that. The friend zone isn’t a thing, they’re most likely just simply not interested. They could be later, but you shouldn’t count on it or try to make it happen. As I said, you can be open about thinking they’re great in a non-creepy way. In the case of friends, do it because you like to make your friend feel good about themselves, you should do that anyway. Then focus on yourself and move on. Look back if they give you signs, but never ever wait on it.

coconutcore
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another one is make sure you and your partner are both ready for a relationship. It is really hard to connect without commitment from both sides.

kaiyaschaotic
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A lot of times, our standards for loved ones are higher than the ones that we hold for ourselves. In unhealthy relationships that are realistically healthier to end than to continue, the people involved are intimately familiar with the relationship nuances that may not be readily apparent to other people; this can make it harder to end the relationship even if it should end. (This is where one partner can start to make excuses for the other partner's red flags.) It's crucial for the individuals in that relationship to take a step back from those nuances to examine the bigger picture of the relationship and ask, "If someone I loved was in this relationship, would I be rooting for him or her to continue it as it is, to work on issues to heal the relationship, or to end it?"

ChirishMelie
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I really like these videos, however I think the music is slightly too loud to the point where it becomes a bit distracting. I find myself pause on some videos because I can almost only listen to the music.

Someliblix
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This one's for non monogamous relationships: get to know their other partners. They are less likely to try to make a good impression on you, and by knowing them you get to know your partner and, this is relevant, their love map and patterns. Asking both your partner and the other S.O.s "why do you love them?" is a HUGE tool.

s.j.warlock
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These videos always stress me out lol. I tend to overthink, and I worry that I may be too attached or fallen in love too quickly. But my partner and I have known each other for 12 years, and started dating 2 years ago. We're both happy, even in our long distance relationship. Actually, could you do a video on long distance relationships? I would love a video since it's very common and I don't see much about LDRs

samanthabrost