Why Do Teens Cut Themselves?

What is the deal with cutting? As a professional psychologist, I know some answers to that and some of these are going to surprise you. In this episode, I will talk about the psychology behind why teens cut themselves especially when depressed.

00:00 Intro & Summary
00:23 Let's start with this
01:10 It is not self-harm
01:45 Not a manipulation
02:24 Pain management
04:08 Kinds of pain
06:44 What to do?
09:30 Our team is ready to help

Watch and Enjoy!
Dr. Paul Jenkins

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MUSIC
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Track: Kisma - We Are [NCS Release]
Music provided by NoCopyrightSounds.
Licensed under Creative Commons — Attribution 3.0

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Video by Nate Woodbury

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[shawnsaramurray]

You are 100% on the ball! I was raised in a violent alcoholic home. I had mental health issues for many years, by teenage years there was so much going on in my life I couldn’t handle the pain in my heart, couldn’t handle the panic attacks.. cutting was a way to release the pain. I called it deflecting. I was always very careful, and controlled. I didn’t have the proper help for years I later turned to drugs so people couldn’t see the scars I was an addict until I was 24 when I woke up one morning and said I’m done.. Since then I’ve become a mom, finished my schooling and am now opening my own company.

[JulieWoman]

I just found out last night that my young daughter has been cutting. I’m absolutely gutted. Thank you for the information in this video.

[GODisreal]

This is so deep my teenage son does this and he's definitely has depression and I talk to him frequently, and he was a run away twice, I'm praying not just for my son but all youths that deals with this.

[elizabethcohenour]

I completely agree. I never knew why cutting made me feel less upset. Thanks for explaining!

[lorifriesen]

it is pain management. this is how i’ve explained it to the few loved ones who i talk to abt this problem. the scariest part is how addictive it feels, it feels good but with a lot of shame at the same time.
the emotional pain i deal with is caused my my terrible relationship with my religious parents, who i live with. i love them and wish they could love me for who i am. they are dead set on controlling my choices in every aspect of life even tho i am an adult, the oldest child (girl) of the family. at this point everything i do ticks them off and everything they say rubs me the wrong way and there is no understanding on their part and no giving in on my part, because i feel that giving in to their wishes will not make me happier at all. it feels selfish but the constant tension and disapproval and being looked down on or judged and dismissed as “clueless” or “not making any sense” or “weak and incapable” feels worse. none of these are true for the most part and they are unaware of their gaslighting/manipulative behaviour. sometimes i do feel crazy for being upset with them until i tell anyone the stories of how they treat me and my younger siblings, and behave in general. my listeners jaws always drop and they use the words insane/crazy/unreasonable before i even do. anyway, i havent quite learned how to communicate properly yet so the built up emotional pain can only be released or relieved by hard physical work or exercise, talking about it, or… SH. it is 2 am, i have no work to do and do not want to avoid pain by causing pain, so i’m writing the longest comment on this video. congratulations to anyone who reads the whole thing and i hope you all have someone to talk to. you are so worth healing and love❤️

[Jacky.c.v]

I used cutting to calm down. Concentration on the physical pain helped. But of course, even professionals said it’s attention. A lot of them don’t take kids seriously .

[YoungunaI]

I used to cut when I was emotionally triggered. The pain I felt was so intense, I didn’t know any other way to make it go away (temporarily of course). I stopped July 10, 2010 when I went too far and had to go to the hospital and get stitched up. After that, alcohol became my escape. Now I’m on the path of self discovery & actually getting to the root of the issue. It’s been great so far.

[TheNewsIsLyingU]

I never heard it explained. I wasn’t even looking for this video. Just scrolling your videos and this caught my eye because I was a cutter as a teen. This makes so much sense. I had a lot of emotional pain that I didn’t know what to do with at that time. Very insightful.

[donnajocatlady]

I used to still cut as an adult. It did not hurt. Seeing the blood grounded me. I finally developed appropriate coping skills and no longer do it.

[feltamaina]

Hey, am in Kenya, just found out that my 15 year old daughter has been doing this, this video has really been of great help, thank you soo much.

[rainyday]

This makes sense to me. I sent this to a friend whose teen is very depressed and has been cutting.

[ericzirk]

I think as parents who have cutting teens think “did I do something to hurt my kid?” But I’m also thinking that there’s hard things that happen in life, like alopecia, grandparents dying when our kids were young. My child seems more sensitive to things, like the film Old Yellar, she couldn’t watch it even as a teen. Trying to find help, but people often assume the parents are at fault.

[iLeah]

🙌 This is spot on! I’m a former cutter. When I was 17, I felt so much emotional turmoil... the only relief I felt was when I’d cut myself. (I didn’t know who my biological father was; my mom worked a lot & was on drugs, and my twin brother was an alcoholic). I could never feel the pain of the blade crossing my skin because I felt physically numb. I only cut 5 or 6 times.

Eventually, tattoos became my outlet for dealing with my internal pain. 🥰💗

[sylviadalyai]

I was really really tempted to cut after my third baby was born. It wasn’t because I was suicidal, it was really just an urge to release pressure. It really felt like if I just started cutting myself, I could release the pressure of having to look like a “good” mom or wife or member of my congregation. I told my husband about it and he got me going to a therapist.

[camilapascual]

I used to do it. And yes I agree that’s how I felt. I felt better and relived after cutting. When my parents found out they were not able to deal with it but I dealt with it later in therapy. I hope to be the parent I needed one day....

[melaniecorona]

You just explained it so perfectly I’m in tears I feel seen.. thank you

[agnesekoduvere]

I used to harm myself as a teenager and returned occasionally to these patterns also in my 20ies. I was quite good at hiding it, usually no one ever noticed anything, I had quite good lies prepared for every injury that I had. I have had a lot of theories about why I was doing it, actually, I still have not figured it out. I wasn't in emotional pain or anything, but that urge was undeniable. Some understanding of my problem came, when quite recently I started to feel this urge again. I know all about the chemical "benefits" of cutting yourself that your brain releases, but for me it is just half the truth. The pleasure part is undeniable, but there is more to it. Now, being 40+ and having the same feeling or urge I had as a teenager, I have come to understand that this need becomes stronger when my hormones start to jump, but the root-cause is feeling unable to control my life. As weird as it is, thoughts of self harm usually are accompanied by intense and crazy sexual cravings, like sudden temporary pull towards a person with whom I don't have any relationship and sometimes those are even people I hate. Self harm creates a feeling of being empowered, being in control. I know very well about the dangers, but the temptation is so strong. Also, I have tried a lot of things in my life that in theory should help me avoid self-harm, but none of them has ever helped me feel good enough to actually stop craving pain. Maybe if I had 10 cats living with me... this craving would go away :)

[evanderg.]

My dad yelled at me for like 10 minutes when he saw my scars and threatened to send me to the mental hospital. I don't really talk to him about that stuff anymore🤷‍♂️

[tankmeister]

My child 14, is wanting to transition Fm to Male and approaches life in an extraordinary way.
Has a learning disability diagnosed around 4yrs of age

[nira]

Thank you for the informative and important information ❤