My Wife’s Addictions Are Ruining Our Marriage

On today’s episode, we hear about:
• A husband unsure how to deal with his wife’s addictive behavior
• A wife struggling to balance her career and motherhood
• A woman wondering how to set boundaries with her sister

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[Leigh.]

A 5 minute affair would be enough to make me walk. A 5 year affair isn't an affair. That's a whole ass relationship.
As for spending money, no. It makes absolutely no sense to stay in this relationship. You're not her husband, you're her doormat.
I love that you have such a big heart but this relationship isn't sustainable.

[alladreamwedreamed]

A buddy of mine was in a marriage like this. For years he quietly suffered through the wife's addictions, awful behavior, and complete lack of effort being a wife and mother. He raised his kids near single handedly while she nodded out all day. Finally one day he had enough, and they went their separate ways. He is now absolutely thriving in life with a beautiful, elegant new queen by his side, they are a perfect match and team. We are all so happy for him and only wish he had left sooner.

Caller - this could be you.

Draw a boundary, enforce the consequences, and put yourself first.

[ChristConvicted]

Im not an advocate for divorce...but Daniel, please...save yourself and your kids!

[carriesing]

Expecting fidelity, sexual and financial, isn’t controlling. It’s very reasonable.

[userapple]

5 years? There’s is no marriage left. Don’t beat a dead horse. Time is precious. It’s YESTERDAY that you should’ve moved on! Let go and be free of this toxicity. A brighter day is ahead but only if you leave now.

[princessdaaahlingamor]

Through my work, people come to me with similar situations. When the raise the very real concern of breaking the news to their kids, I remind them that as difficult as it will be, they will also be teaching their children how to leave an abusive situation. Otherwise, they are teaching their kids to stay in abuse.

[suefleming]

She sounds like a real piece of work. I feel so sorry for the children.
Daniel you deserve better.

[joshdillon]

Daniel, it's time for you to stop making excuses for her. What it is time for is DNA tests for those kids and hiring a divorce lawyer, brother. She's not sick. She doesn't love you or your children. GET. OUT.

[valaries.]

Dr. John, I listen every day. I always receive a piece of wisdom that helps my daily life. Behaviors that I can change for the better in my daily life or things to ponder. I keep a journal next to me so I can go back and read. You're making a difference. Thank you.

[alg]

Love your show!! My husband and I have been married for 29 years, empty nesters. We’re in that awkward time trying to reconnect our relationship. I’m going through menopause, he’s going through a midlife crisis of not wanting to get old. Lots of communication issues. I’ve been listening in for awhile, there was some immaturity on his part over the weekend, he realized his mistake in the matter. I made sure I had a good sleep, prayed, asked God to help me communicate my needs better. Well, I did it!! We communicated rather than argue which is rare. I’m always afraid to bring things up, but using your tips of communication, I felt like it went really well. I’m hoping we can continue to have better communication. It just seems like we’ve grown apart a lot, but we both still want to make it work. So I’ll keep listening. Thanks to all the callers!! You all help the rest of us!!

[longochu]

I'm so sorry for Daniel, for his fear of conflicts, from the way he immediately agreed with John even when John had completely opposite advises every single time.

[davibm]

First caller will sadly go back to his wife until his world burns completely. Bro is still not understanding reality.

[Mr.mathias]

Everyone is struggling and listening to solutions is so powerful.

[stevendavidson]

Daniel not only needs to get out of that marriage but he needs to get a different therapist and find a different self-help strategy because both of those don’t appear to be working for him either.

[chch]

5 YEARS!!! How could you ever trust again. Why would you want to!!

[CaToRi-]

First caller: this guy can’t see she wants him to start the divorce. She doesn’t love him BUT she doesn’t want to start the divorce. She wants to blame him.

[BugsyBologna]

It’s quite simple Ladies and Gents.
Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Have self-respect and run.

[LSSYLondon]

She tapped out of the marriage 8 years ago. In fact I would say she probably is deconstructing from everything and shopping is her way of coping with everything. I would love to hear her side of what happened. What led to the affair. What led to the job loss. What led to them having children. Did she want marriage to this man? Because her actions scream that she wants out and has for a very long time.

[Mommydebo]

For the caller who is disabled, your community’s vocational rehabilitation office usually has a person who is trained in social security knowledge. Because vocational rehabilitation works with individuals with disabilities they are very knowledgeable and helpful. They are usually connected to the workforce services office.

[hebrewsvs]

Delony is no longer just bashing the guys in favor of the ladies. That's refreshing.