Buddhist Monk: Why You Feel Lost In Life & How To Reinvent Yourself | Gelong Thubten

What if the most courageous, compassionate thing you could do in life, was to learn how to be with yourself? It’s a powerful, perhaps surprising idea put forward by this week’s guest, the Buddhist monk, meditation teacher and author Gelong Thubten.

Thubten became a monk back in 1993 after suffering from severe physical and mental burnout whilst following his dream of becoming an actor in New York City.

His new book, A Handbook for Hard Times: A Monk’s Guide to Fearless Living, draws on what he’s learned over the past 30 years. Its premise is that we can embrace life’s difficulties as opportunities for personal transformation, using hard times to cultivate resilience, kindness, and happiness.

We begin our conversation talking about distraction and addiction, two states that are very closely linked. When we distract ourselves by scrolling, overeating, or drinking for example, says Thubten, we’re pushing away emotional pain or discomfort – even if we may not realise it. But the discomfort is really in the pushing. If we can learn instead to sit with what’s making us uncomfortable, those emotions start to transform.

So, how exactly are we meant to do this? Thubten explains that one way, is through the practice of meditation and learning how to process negative emotions in the moment, rather than only understanding them in retrospect.

The most common misconception is that meditation needs a clear mind. But thoughts are inevitable, and the goal is not to push them away. If we use meditation to sit with our thoughts, rather than escape them, the transformations really start to happen. We become less controlled by negative emotions and start to cultivate positive ones. Meditation can unlock our innate self-compassion and this, in turn, improves our relationship with ourselves and with others.

Thubten insists that you can’t fail at meditation, because it really just means ‘being you’. The more we meditate, the less we run away from hard times and fear, and the more we become our true, contented selves.

Thubten is an excellent communicator and I hope you enjoy this really special episode.

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[DrChatterjeeRangan]

Looking for shorter clips or content? Check out my @DrChatterjeeClips channel

[Ressa]

I recognized that I got addicted to distraction and recently removed myself from a social group and all social media except YT. I increased my use of social media to cope with being mistreated in my marriage and through my divorce. These platforms are programmed to provide hits of dopamine to make you feel good. I’m so incredibly balanced now and able to improve other areas in my life like my parenting and physical health.

[colincurbishley]

Ha ha...I arrived at that Buddhist monastery in Scotland its called Samye Ling. Thubtan and I were among 20 others taking vows for a year. I stayed 10 years and completely reinvented myself.
Good to see Thubtan sharing the teachings and benefits he discovered...👍🙏

[ginafarley]

One thing that helped me is realizing I could meditate in short amounts of time. Don’t turn it into a goal of xx minutes, just do it when you can

[jenmdawg]

I can confirm his statement that we all have an infinite, perfect happiness in our core that needs nothing and is never boring. It’s also possible in the midst of despair.
My partner and I were both meditators - and I had been doing it for 15 years when he died suddenly and traumatically in front of me. . A few weeks before he died I had “found” this internal bliss and was amazed I could summon it… the night he died I went into a meditation because I was going to kill myself otherwise (the pain was beyond my capacity) and there it was.
It’s been a year and some months and I’ve struggled in ways I never wanted but this peace is always there - it’s a kind of knowing that defies description but I can promise anyone anywhere that if you seek it, you will find it.

[janeknight]

I’m listening to this to distract myself from my thoughts so I can sleep. I listen to audiobooks or talks every night for that reason.

[SBecktacular]

The paradox is We wouldn’t get this good teaching without the technology 🤷🏼‍♀️🤔

[ReptileAssylum]

I went from being mr popular to being intentionally alone for many years now.
Best move I ever made

[georgekojoamissah]

We suffer in the present moment for future events because we do not believe that we have what it takes to handle the pain that will come with the event. Fear of the unknown is the cause of our suffering. Meditation is our tool to deal with pain. This assurance takes away emotional pain. ❤❤❤

[MoniqueDiCarlo]

Happiness seems to be connected to something outside ourselves, stuff, or experiences. Joy is within me. Joy is so much deeper and significant than happiness which seems to constantly be fleeting.

[shannonpmitchell]

I am consuming knowledge by watching you tube videos like this. Which I love to learn from, but I’ve learned I even have to balance my time learning. 👍Everything in moderation ❤️

[InSouthernMaine]

Finally. Having consulted myriad guides during my decades-long struggle to be freed from the prisons of my own making - and failing even beneath fleeting moments of apparent success - the truth, the simplicity of this conversation alone has penetrated the veil of resistance. I am stepping off the hamster wheel today. With profound gratitude.

[gardenlover]

I read a book called Letting Go which suggests allowing the emotion. I allow the anger/sadness/etc, to flow through me, and most of the time it only lasts several seconds. ALLOW. This talk is amazing, and I am learning more. Thank you.

[theinngu]

Beautiful. I have been meditating for 25 years plus…living on ethical precepts and it gives such a wonderful anchor. Not always easy but when I see how people suffer so much…and don’t always realise it…needing, wanting and discontent, I have no doubt that it’s the path to liberation. I hope that all can find the way to contentment. This is a lovely video. Thank you so much. 🙏🏼🌹

[titussteenhuisen]

When the outer circumstances connect with the inner that gives happiness. Happiness that is formed through harmony.

[Finn-exkl]

As an insomniac who loves to listen to your videos when I can’t sleep (but also trying to get back to sleep as your voice is so soothing) there are TOO MANY ADS in your videos. Like 5-10 times the amount of other podcasters on YouTube. It’s seriously annoying. You’re my fav podcaster but it’s ridiculous how many ads there are.

Great chat though 😊. I’ll meditate on it…

[Lee-]

I’m only 1/4 way into this conversation, but I want to thank you both. This is one of the best examples of ‘a conversation’ I have witnessed. You listen deeply and respond deeply to each other’s point. There is no interruption. There is ‘just’ a beautiful flow of energy, sharing, understanding and wisdom. So even without the high level content you are offering, the context in itself is deeply spiritual and uplifting. What a beautiful gift this is for your audience ❤
Thank you so much for this 🙏
And now, I will continue to enjoy your conversation ☺️

[lynncook]

THANK YOU❤ 70 yrs here! I have become so stressed from technology nightmares, being bombarded with doctors overloads... I have gone from being healthy to having so many body issues all at once! I couldn't take anymore and was able to return to Buda hearings after many attempts! I just relaxed after a hour here with you and I feel a major releif! Today I am spending it with you, over and over again for the peace and tranquility my brain and body is craving❤

[rodgersmasuta]

We are indeed addicted to distraction. The desire we have to consume to feel complete or adequate. Wow. I am enough. This was a deep conversation. Thanks

[joytulip]

I am grateful for the tough times that helped me to find my inner strength, beauty, truth…over addictions, distractions and “chasing butterflies”…hard to watch the ones I love who continue to distract and chase