How to handle the injustice of a narcissistic relationship

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[reymohammed]

My ex-friend from Hell used to say, "The bastards always win." 95% of the time, they do, because "winning" (hurting others and getting away with it) is what their lives are about. But we have to keep fighting for that other 5%.

[kiv_daniels]

The can get angry but when you’re angry you’re over reacting, people never hold them accountable, it’s sad when they’re your family. I didn’t choose these people.

[medusareigns]

I'm seeing my narcissist ex in court for abusing me tomorrow. I'm prepared for it to not go my way. I wish you all justice and healing.

[EgbertStuger]

In the end I looked like the narcissist. I was the loud one, I was the desperate one. For I while I actually thought it was me, I was in the wrong. Self blame is part of the game and there is no justice in fighting for the truth. I wonder how many crazy ex boy/girlfriends are actually the crazy ones...

[manatheprincess]

I hope you see this . I am a Dr, who is going through this right now with my intimate partner. I am going through a very difficult divorce with him right now. It is not easy. you have helped me massively. i felt through your videos that you were my voice and my friend. you made me believe that am not the insane one. I can not thank you enough Dr. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. it sure is going to be a hell of a fight ending my marriage, but its price i am willing to pay for ME!.

[criticalmaz]

In my experience, roughly 99% of abuse is non-physical, or at least leaves no evidence that will stand up in court, so most people seem to think/act like it doesn't matter.

[leogoold]

Boy, this is a toughie. The carnage these folks wreak, without any conscience, in the pursuit of their pathetic agendas is something that you continue to suffer the effects of even when you have removed yourself from the most immediate consequences of their actions. It simply does'nt go away. We most of us have traumas from childhood but how come these people are so special they demand special treatment? is the feeling I'm getting. So, yes I think I would benefit from therapy :)

[GrandmaEllen]

I love your cat. It takes time, but acceptance finally. When you have children, the injustice continues. But to save yourself you have to disengage from trying to right the wrongs. You never will;, and trying just keeps you hooked. Gotta run.

[PrismaticPri]

I think the "injustice of it all" keeps me oscillating between feeling defeated/beaten down, and feeling angry/resentful. It even makes me feel mistrustful of the world outside of those dynamics. All these feelings are overwhelming to feel at once, but the word "injustice" helps to encompass the many feelings, and navigate the healing process. I look forward to hearing you expand more on this topic in the future, hopefully across all your platforms! Thanks, Dr. Ramani!

[AndyLawrence]

Mine walked away with a humongous cash payout, every mutual friend, a few of MY friends and not a single inconvenience or embarrassment to her name. I'm left holding the bag in a city I'd rather not be living in, a strict financial plan to escape the debt she put me in, and the hurdle to rebuild my social circle from scratch. The injustice is so crippling I can barely think about it, it's like trying to stare at the sun. This part has been almost impossible to cope through.

[forensicbadassprofiling]

Thank you for getting me through some of the hardest times of my life Dr Ramini.
IDK if I'll ever get over the injustice of it all, not necessarily bc of ex Narcy, but more angry at the institutional betrayal w law enforcement n judiciary.
If I knew back then what I know now, the whole process would have been so much easier.
As far the injustice of ex narco, meh... He's gotta live w his empty self while I live my happy life without looking back.
I can laugh.
I can choose for myself.
I can try all those things he talked me outta.
I feel life is beautiful.
I can love again.
I feel safe.
I have loving friends n a badass career.
I rebuilt my home n assets by myself.
I love school.
And I see life as a glorious beautiful opportunity to experience myself free to be me without him n his bizarre mean hearted soulless family n self.

[upasanagupta]

The injustice caused by a covert narc is the worst, I believe.. cause they hurt the closest person to them in silence, the victim suffers in silence, and the covert narc always, always gets their way out of it. And it pains so much, I cannot even express in words, I suppose.

[Robin]

I hate injustice in everything in life! It is hard to watch a two-tiered justice system in any genre of life. I have narcissists in my life and it is a hard thing to be made the "bad one" when in reality it was them that initiated and continued the abusiveness towards me. I still live with this daily.

[joanna]

The way I deal with the injustice is knowing that my ex will deep down be forever insecure, living his inauthentic life of validation seeking and not knowing any true happiness.

[susanbradleyskov]

Justice is one of my core values. It has been since I was a small child. It’s not even a matter of things not being fair, it goes deeper. Injustice is corrosive. The injustice in my relationship, that continued because of the narcisst’s ability to get so many people on their side, including many of my children’s teachers, neighbors, social workers, doctors and even a judge - I had to appeal my custody case - still gets to me when I think about it, sometimes to the point of incandescent rage when one of my triggers is touched, even after 20 years.

[AnnAndNala]

Your kitty is adorable! And yes, the injustice has definitely been the largest issue to overcome in the healing process.

[iseultmackinnon]

I've really struggled with this injustice for so long. How a pathetic monster can be treated like a little emperor all their life. Its so perverted it makes me physically sick.

[kimthomas]

Dr Ramani: my kind, compassionate friend (married to a narc) calls me, in tears, because she thinks she must be a narcissist Wondering if her negative reaction to her husbands rage makes her the I hardly knew what to say.
It’s hard when your very. Best. Friend. Is married to a narc.
I follow this page to help her. ❤

[butterfly]

I'm so glad that I trusted my gut all these years about one of my narc family members. As a kid, I obviously didn't know what a narc was but as I became an adult and I could sit back and look at the situation without being in the middle of it, I could see all of the awful things they did under the guise of being a wonderful savior (savior complex). I see through it and it's gross. I can't stand to be around this person because of that and I know that narcs can sense people's energy when it's authentic because it shines a light on their inauthenticness.

[CB-vgwq]

Yeah, the injustice is tough! All the mutual friends my Ex and I shared have sided with him. He tells them how he was the 'victim' - that he took me out to dinner once a week (but does not tell them I paid for all the groceries). He tells them he took me on vacation (we went on 2 vacations in 10 years). And, he has a ton of superficial charm, well dressed, well mannered. He can pour on the charm when he wants to impress and right now, he wants everyone thinking he is the greatest guy on earth. He does not want anyone to question or doubt him. He does not want to take any responsibility for his angry outbursts in our relationship. He yelled if dinner was not ready "on time', yelled if the house was not clean enough, yelled if he could not find a parking space in 5 minutes. Just glad I escaped. Tired is tip toeing around the house, wondering when the next outburst would happen. Girl gone. Beware of the guy who can not say, "Yes, I contributed to the end of my prior relationship."