ADHD Brains can't form Habits

I'm not an expert, this is from my lived experience and talking to many others who have ADHD including therapists.

My channel is not medical advice.

[Marty]

Amen! I was mindblown when I learned what habits are and took a closer look at my life! My routines always go out the window when we travel no matter how long I’ve had them for and even the most basic self-care feels hard. And it makes sense why life was getting more and more overwhelming because I was piling on more “habits” and yeah, not good. This lack of autopilot is not fair 😭

[SL-epog]

Thanks for this! A similar thing I’ve always said is I can’t do much of anything “by rote” or on autopilot but rather have to mentally process every step. I never thought of it before as habit vs routine.

[jenbloom]

Soooo true! With the new year comes lots of advice on resolutions, changing habits, etc. Prior to my autistic-awakening, I would read those things and feel like I was undisciplined failure.

[donnanewby]

Very well explained Amanda!

This is completely my situation... if my routine is disturbed, the day falls apart, nothing gets done... often with feelings of disappointment, shame, failure.

I think...maybe I'll do it tomorrow....

Then it doesn't happen, often for the same reasons!

Regarding ADHD and Autism, we are often defined as a desire to be rigid with our routine - I would say this is the wrong way of viewing us - we NEED to be rigid, in order to function the best we can!!!

[almostahippie]

I described myself in an interview once as deliberate because every thing I do has to be deliberate. I didn’t know other people just form a habit.

[dickottel]

my mom is always shocked how many things I don't notice, like some mess in the house or moldy food in the fridge 😭

[Slim_Chiply]

That's me. In addition, I will go along with something for a while, sometimes months or more and then inexplicably I simply forget about it completely. If I remember that I was doing it at all, it could be months or years later that I'll remember I was even doing it. Exercise is a good example of this. Though most common though is to do something for a few days and then inexplicably forget.

[austincde]

When I really really have to force myself, I turn on music, it's the only brain hack that works for me 😭😭😭

[lagh]

I have to have a schedule to do anything.

[johanb]

This blew my mind. Thank you for helping me see myself more clearly!

[lagomorphia]

This might be why Im such a mess as I lay out everything horizontally, every surface covered, because if its visible I will see it and remember something needs done. If not, weeks can go by. Like I may have had money to pay a bill but if the bill itself is under a pile of other mail I will forget to pay it. Damn frustrating. Also if I have one thing I must do, like an appointment or meeting, it occupies my mind so much in order to not forget that I cant plan around it with other things, which is a huge waste of time.

[lydia]

Literally had an argument with my friend who has studied psychology about this. She was very dismissive

[colletteprops]

See also: addiction.
We can have those too. But this is spot on. I'm doin a top-to-toe scour down today. Gotta clean the bag of bodymeat every now and then on a day off.😂🎉🕺

[thissunchild]

Wow, that's really made open my eyes to the way I live my life. So, I'm not an 'undisciplined failure', then, as someone earlier put it?

[DaroTheDragon]

So when I come home from school I will usually grab the mail as a part of the routine and if its the weekend im probably not going to grab it because its not apart of anything.

[thehighpriestess]

I hate brushing my teeth. I do it because it's good for me but often I remember that I need tp do it once I am in bed, ugh

[lisawalden]

i didn’t brush my teeth properly for years 😢

[LaShumbraBates]

COVID disrupted my meal-prep routine. I still haven't gotten back to that routine no matter how hard I try. 😒

[JustJessee]

My mom would straight up not be able to comprehend this and accuse you of lying about it 😂 She was a big believer in just "do X 100 times. Then do it 100 more times. Done. You're an expert forever now!" To this day she only thinks of ADHD as "young boys who just want to run around and play", and that's the only definition for her. She doesn't believe in any of the other aspects of the diagnosis, just "boys who want to run around and play" -_-

[joannakieran]

I am 43 yo and was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 5. I would say from my own perspective that I can form habits if they increase dopamine. So for example I would have tea with sugar every moring no matter what. Since being young I would also have a bath almost every single evening (also on holidays) as it is my 'daily heaven time' . I love hot water, it calms me down after hectic day. So I can form habits. However when it comes to chores I do rely on routines as the chores don't have feel good feeling.