6 Hidden Habits Making You Less Likable

Are your habits unknowingly pushing people away? In this video, we explore 6 covert behaviors that may be making you less attractive to others without you realizing it. From people-pleasing to adopting a 'perfectionist' mindset, some of these tendencies can negatively impact your relationships and personal growth. Discover how to identify and improve these behaviors to foster genuine connections and enhance your self-confidence. Remember, this video is here to raise awareness, not shame. Watch now to learn more!

Writer: Dylan Swanepoel
Script Editor: Isadora Ho & Kelly Soong
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Animation: Sarimopi (IG: sarimopi)
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

Here are the references for your readings:

Hill, R. W., Zrull, M. C., & Turlington, S. (1997). Perfectionism and interpersonal problems. Journal of personality assessment, 69(1), 81-103.
Rische, J. (2023). “I’m not like the other girls”: The phenomenology of affect: How is female self-expression affected by internalized misogyny?.
Oyserman, D., Brickman, D., Bybee, D., & Celious, A. (2006). Fitting in matters: Markers of in-group belonging and academic outcomes. Psychological Science, 17(10), 854-861.

[Psychgo]

But we believe these discussions are crucial to bring more awareness to some harmful behaviors we may unknowingly participate in. By sharing this video, you’re helping spread awareness of these toxic patterns, and together we might even override the YouTube algorithm to get this content in front of more people. Let’s create a positive change online! Also, we have a lot of video ideas waiting to be made, if you are interested in being a part of that process, you can email us. You can add the contribution you do to your resume as well.

[MariamZawjatNomayri]

Don't bother trying to be or appear "likeable". Be authentic. Don't be a liar. And don't be afraid of making enemies who despise you simply due to their insecurities or their jealous tendency

[kokoskaninchen]

Im such a people pleaser and i dont like it myself. When i was young, i just learned that being nice to everyone and not speaking my mind would make the people around me less angry about me. It ist difficult to change that and it needs time

[jackss]

0:33 pseudo humility
1:31 being too agreeable
2:34 too eager to fit in
3:55 I'm not like other guys/girls
5:00 they'll only like me if I'm perfect
6:05 having a zero sum game mindset

[MorgueInTheVoid]

Fun fact, theres a lot of things that will scare people away including things like, setting boundaries, being honest and being overly confident. Dont think too hard about being likeable or unlikeable.
"You're a flower. There's people that are allergic to flowers but that doesn't stop flowers from blooming. Theres people who aren't gonna like you and that's okay. Share your pollen with the world and you'll attract bees, butterflies and hummingbirds. Stop worrying about ol' sneezy mcgee. Bloom."

-Me like 2 years ago

[Kora_Loves_Kandi]

0:55 as an artist 99% of the time we mean it when we say those things bc we stare at it to long so it looks TERRIBLE for us 😭😭

[darkshadow-ogss]

For those who think of themselves as bad because they have some of these traits, Congrats. You are self-aware. We are all humans and have flaws, and the best among us are those who recognize their flaws and fix them.❤

[HistóriascomSentido]

In my early 20s, I was the ultimate people pleaser. I said yes to every request, agreed with every opinion, and went along with plans even when I didn’t enjoy them. I thought that being agreeable would make people like me more, but what I found was that it actually made me invisible. People didn’t respect me because I didn’t stand up for myself. I was just “there, ” blending into the background. The truth is, people respect those who respect themselves enough to say no when necessary.

[minashinenourex]

how is your voice so comforting?😭 I could literally fall asleep to these videos they are so nice <3

[bruh_moment]

I was such a huge people pleaser as a child. But now that im more grown up i started caring less about what people think. And surprisingly that actually helped me getting friends.

[MariamZawjatNomayri]

Even if some avoid those points, other individuals will still find multiple reasons to dislike them due to the following:
1. Plain jealousy
2. Feeling threatened by your confident personality, assuming that you're taking away their limelight etc. and wanting all the attention for themselves.
3. You simply have very different goals and values - if your goals and values differ from certain people, of course we won't expect to be liked by them and that's absolutely okay.
The more unique you are, the more you stand out and the more some individuals may find you intimidating or unwelcoming which is in a good way peace inducing if you're a true introvert

[EpsilonBlue-cb]

One harsh lesson that took me a minute or two to learn was that there's a fine line between acts of service and just plain trying to babysit your loved ones. I have been on both sides of the table, and I can say that it's very intrusive and most people will feel suffocated because of it. It's not up to us to force our love on someone. I know this now, but it caused many problems in the past for me.

[streetako]

How could an amazing mental health channel not be algorithm-blessed? This is some really helpful stuff.

[MomAndBabyCareHazel]

02:43 I love the part about staying true to yourself instead of just trying to fit in. It's so easy to get swept up in trends and lose sight of who you really are. The analogy of the 'unique handmade pot' versus the 'factory-made pot' was such a clever way to put it. Being yourself is so much more appealing than just blending in!

[Tibbles-hm]

3:57 That voice was so comforting for some reason

[Karuminu]

Pseudo humility is understandable depending on your perspective of it. When I deflected a compliment, it's because I felt underseving of praise. Maybe it's because I'm an introvert and don't like drawing attention to myself, or it could be due to depressive irrational thinking telling me that I'm not worth wasting energy on. I've come a long way in mentally healing and learning to humbly accepting praise, but I'll still feel that way sometimes.

[abdieljimenez]

Make sure to watch the whole video!
1. 00:31 Pseudo humility 😔 – Making self-deprecating jokes or comments as a way to get compliments.

2. 01:30 Being too agreeable 🙃 – Always saying yes or pleasing others at the cost of personal beliefs or independency.

3. 02:35 Too eager to fit in 🥺– Abandoning your true self and adopting others' opinions or trends just to belong.

4. 03:55 "I'm not like other guys/girls" mentality 😏😌– It's great to be unique, but don't use your differences as a way to boast or to put others down.

5. 04:57 Perfectionism ("They'll only like me if I'm perfect") 😃👌– Striving to appear perfect all the time.

6. 06:05 Zero-sum game mindset – 😒😭Viewing life as a competition where someone’s success is your loss.

[Nixque_.]

I myself is a people pleaser and it backfired on me so much that I started to feel depressed. Some friends were warning me and after 2 years, I finally stopped and it helped me a lot. If you want everyone to like you, it's impossible. It's alright to not please everyone.

[vviin.]

I do have a friend like this. I love them with my entire heart, but sometimes, they can be quite overwhelming. I feel stuck whenever i'm with them, but i still think they're precious

[bertog]

It's so refreshing to hear you narrate this clip. You have a way of connecting. Those others don't cut it.