How to Speak Up for Yourself!

For some reason being assertive always gets lumped in with being aggressive.. Or being a jerk. But trust me, being assertive is something completely different! Being assertive is when you are able to stand up for yourself (or others in your life) without being aggressive, or being passive and accepting something that’s hurtful or not right for you. And we do all of this calmly with a positive goal in mind.
1. Self talk 2. Boundaries 3. Notice your triggers 4. Write it out and practice
5. Start small 6. Ask questions 7. You can disagree 8. Compromise 9. Toxic people do exist.

I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
#katimorton #therapist #therapy

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If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call a local emergency telephone number or go immediately to the nearest emergency room.

[marybarrett]

At 55 I am learning how to speak up for myself.. I have been a doormat my whole life... How sad.. But I am finally finding my

[Autumnof]

At 27 I'm still working on this, I want to express my emotions without hurting other people's feelings.

[BrainsApplied]

*My main thing? Have your own opinion and say what you want, but listen to others...*
Too many people take assertiveness for being cocky.

[Sharokio]

Just lost a friend because she didn't respect my boundaries. This video helped so much. Thank you.

[AliKorruption]

It's very interesting that you did this video. For the first time in my life I stood up for myself. A family member and I got into an argument, and he was yelling over me as I was speaking, I said to him " if you are not going to listen to me or try and understand, then this conversation is over " he hung up the phone. Not the reaction I wanted however I felt good that I stood up for myself. My doctor said he hung up bc he wasnt ready for me to defend myself and it caught him off guard. But it felt good!

[lovinglife]

Growing up it wasn't safe for my siblings and I to speak up.

[maggie]

I'm so passive that it's automatic. I don't pause long enough to know how I feel or how I want to respond. I immediately cater to people and what they want. I never object because everyone else is more important. But this is all changing for the better.

[paigewarren]

This video came at the perfect time because I have a hard time being assertive and letting people know what I need or want. People have made me feel guilty for speaking up for myself

[jennamartin]

Boundaries are a BIG thing I’m working on! I’m disabled and the last few years I’m learning to “ grow up”. My family has a really hard time respecting my boundaries. I’m always” the bad or rude or wrong one “.

[pamelab]

I can be toxic when im triggered I’ll keep these tips in mind. Thank you❤️

[alyssafisher]

I had to handle a workplace conflict today and NEEDED this video...thank you!

[alicehollamby]

I struggle with social anxiety and speaking up is hard for me. Thanks so much this really helps me to understand a lot clearer x

[kristinamcgraine]

Question: I am a passive person and working on being more assertive. However, whenever I am trying to be assertive I start to cry, especially at work...and that can be embarrassing. (I feel like I am in wise mind before I try to be assertive, but then I get emotional.) Ideas?

[paulflint]

Im 40, and still struggle with my life being micro managed by family, great video kati, ill try to apply your info to my life

[SamanthaGorman]

I struggle with confrontation so much because I hate confrontation so this video helped me prodigiously! Thanks so much Kati! <3

[jamieh]

My therapist and I just started interpersonal effectiveness skills in DBT. So we’re starting Passive-Aggressiveness and how to be assertive. So this is awesome! You’re awesome too!

[ram]

Says to self over and over, “it’s ok to disagree” “it’s ok to disagree” “it’s ok to disagree!”

[rea]

I am having one of those days when I am not the most friendly in my self talk. Thanks for this simple technique of reminding myself of some things I love about myself! 😊

[chang]

Thank you 🙏🏻
Last one, #9 I thinking 🤔, is hard when it’s a coworker.

So I just don’t go into personal or triggering subjects with her.

It took me years to finally nail that one cause I was trying, but saw no solution to it!

[teachpeoplehowtotreatyou]

Such a great video! I am only now speaking up for myself after 56 years! Thank you for this. 😊