Speaking Up Without Freaking Out | Matt Abrahams | TEDxPaloAlto

In this informative and captivating TEDx talk, Matt Abrahams offers practical solutions to handle communication anxiety and provides tools to empower all of us to confidently share our ideas and stories.

Matt Abrahams is a passionate, collaborative and innovative educator, author and coach. At Stanford University’s Graduate School of Business, Matt teaches popular courses in Strategic Communication and Effective Virtual Presenting. He is also Co-Founder and Principal at Bold Echo Communications Solutions, a presentation and communication skills company based in Silicon Valley.

Matt recently published the third edition of Speaking Up Without Freaking Out, a book written to help those wishing to be more confident and compelling communicators. Prior to teaching, Matt held senior leadership positions at several software companies, where he created and ran global learning and development organizations. When not teaching and coaching, Matt enjoys spending time with his family, hiking, martial arts and eating dessert.

[aleksagordic]

0:00 Why is it important? -> in order to share your ideas effectively and efficiently with your audience you need to be calm (and there's a lot you have to say so it's worth it)
4:00 Where does the anxiety come from? -> it's a survival method from days long past - fighting for status, so it's basically in our DNA

Managing physiological symptoms:
5:35 if you are anxious, in general -> take a deep breath before you start
5:50 if you shake -> gesture broadly
6:00 if you perspire or blush -> hold something cold in your hand (not sure how this is practical though :P )

Managing cognitive symptoms -> greet your "anxiety", accept it (it's actually just energy you can perceive it as either additional energy for your talk or anxiety)

Managing sources (TL;DR - make your talk a structured conversation with your audience)
7:55 (1) "I'm afraid I'm going to forget" -> have a map, a structure like e.g. "what, so what, now what" structure
8:55 (2) We feel the audience is exercising judgment on us -> redirect attention (show a video, ask a question, etc.) (note: (2) is also solved if you exercise (3))
9:35 (3) If it feels like a performance -> reframe it as a conversation (put your attention on your audience, use conversational language (us, you, we), ask questions)

And remember it takes time and will to get out of the comfort zone.

[mehdikhadem]

They should be teaching this stuff at schools. our educational system is F***ed up!

[CC-bjjq]

I'm literally watching this because I'm the maid of honour at my sisters wedding and I want to give her and my future brother in law a meaningful speech they can feel happy and proud of. I have terrible stage freight and anxiety... but the goal is so much more important to me that I will push through . Wish me luck guys <3

[prashantpatare]

I never saw such a confident, calm and positive speaker before... I can feel that I can stand on this same TED stage with far less fear if I am standing with this guy... Wish this guy was my personal guide in my childhood..

[rogerharsh]

I get nervous even when teacher ask me question in class😥

But never loose your passion and don't choose career for only money

We are introverts!
{ Edited }

[doncev]

oh i just did one. I couldnt sleep week before speech, i couldnt eat. And i just practiced. Recorded on video, said it over and over in front of a mirror. And when i was standing in front of 100 ppl i just started talking, because this is what I had to do. I just spoke, didnt look at the notes, messed up a bit cos still i was very nervous. Stopped. Concentrated, picked it up. Had few jokes. Looked at peoples eyes. And it was weird as if i watched myself from the side. It wasnt me at all. And people loved it. Somebody said: ive never heard you talking for so long :))) It was great experience! Just prepare and do it :)

[CassandraBankson]

*Your class was one of the greatest I've ever taken! Thanks for continuing to spread new angles of this info and advice beyond the classroom :) So appreciated!*

[Hifirrrr]

I think every moment I spent watching this is gold. But he seriously 'woke' me up when he said that our mentality in putting conversation with others as a 'performance' which indicates there is right/wrong, - is the main reason why are we always freaking out when communicating. there is no right and wrong when communicating with human beings - and we should not always aim for the correct ways, but to ensure the person gets what we are trying to say.

[prashantpatare]

I get too much fricked out by just imaging myself on a stage... I have insidents where I had gone complete blank on stage and thus someone else had to take over. It was a very embarrassing experience.
I hate myself being so fearefull, terrified about public speaking. I also wish to be confident and normal like many others. I am sad inside due to this.

But I have hope that somehow oneday I will overcome all these fears and that I will become a good speaker. That day I will come back here and will comment on this same message. Wish me luck for this.

[makositali]

My problem is my shaking voice. I usually have my presentation or content well prepared but delivering the content to an audience is always a challenge. I literally sound like someone crying😪😪

[wegotthis]

Oh my. He's definitely the perfect speaker for this topic. He is so eloquent and calm.

[HH-mfcq]

I’m about to present in like 20 minutes I’m so scared wish me luvk

[samc]

My hearting is pounding so fast every time when I’m about to talk. Even I take a deep breath and tell myself, I can do this, it does not work. When I’m talking to people in the meeting virtually, my heart is still racing fast and sometimes my voice is shaking( not sure if people can notice), then my brain can’t relax and function properly as I’m in a ralexing and normal state. I always end up saying wrong things that I was so regret later. I just can’t control my nervousness and control myself in that moment all the time. I have never seen anyone in my life that has the same level of nervousness/anxiety as I do. Even worst, I forget what I need to say because my brain is just turning blank. I hate myself so much after each time I talk. I have had nervousness for years!

[Bchdoll]

This is awesome and I'm so grateful this exists. However, this isn't my first time watching this or any other similar videos.. yet STILL, my anxiety controls my life. For no reason my brain completely blanks at every single public speaking interaction I've ever had in my life. Working at a restaurant, going to school, meetings.. I could prepare the most perfect speech.. memorize every word for word.. but as soon as it matters my brain shuts off

[xushnudabdullayev]

He speaks very fluently and understandable. This kind of talk is beneficial for people especially the people who are learning english

[jeremyadinugraha]

Thank you. Such a relieve. I will greet my social anxiety.

[youtube]

7:59 best part -- What? So What? Now What?
9:05 Redirect audience attention -- have them focus on something else.
Large audience: show a video clip, take an informal poll,
(ask participants turn to a person next to them to interact / Q & A for one minute)
One-one-one or small group: distribute a handout, ask a question...
10:38 Reframe a speech as simply a conversation. Attention on the audience,
use "we", "our", and ask questions of the audience --- more engaging.

[thomas_shelby]

He is speaking up so that I can fully understand him without captions. I appreciate it a lot.

[architectMd]

Matt Abraham’s speech on Speaking up without Freaking our is superbly inspirational and beneficial for every public speaker!
God Almighty Bless!

[sureshkumarpradhan]

Today was my school speech for ASL, and I used your mind map technique. I never stopped anywhere and the whole class was listening me quietly. Thank you so much ❤️❤️