1st Edition vs 5th Edition Rogues in Dungeons and Dragons

Who had the saddest backstory?? I mean...WHO'S NEXT?!?!

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#dnd #dungeonsanddragons #rogue

[jonsku]

Both rogues: *Hug it out*

Also both rogues during said hug (to the DM): "Do I have advantage?"

[OC]

"You're the reason it's called Thieves Can't."

Who needs Fireball when you can throw sick burns like that.

[moogamooga]

I absolutely expected them to Backstab and Sneak Attack eachother at the end.

[rayzerot]

I'm shocked that the bro hug didn't end with them simultaneously backstabbing each other.

[NagolM]

i did once make a rogue that had a noble background and was trained by the spy master as a rogue, he still had all his family and was on good relationships with all of them. It was funny when me and the party went to my home, because they all thought i would be in the slums but got to get to stay in the upper districts in a Mansion, see all my family and friends, and they knew that i was a rogue for fun (4 child of 8)

[FennEXE]

Non-tragic Rogue backstory:

"Who are you, and how did you get in here?"
"I'm a locksmith, and I'm a locksmith"

[zachmowat]

1st Edition Fighter vs 5th Edition Fighter

1e: "Hit stuff?"

5e: "Hit stuff."

Both: *fist bump* Bruuuuh

[wetwillyis_]

"My parents didn't even show up for my birthing!"
Oh, so this is the backstory from that medieval Phineas and Ferb episode right?

[DorthLous]

Surprised the hug didn't end in a double backstab...

[YourBoyNobody]

DM: Alright what's your backstory.
Rogue: I was raised in a loving family, and was taught to continue the family business. My mother is a wizard and my father is a rogue, so I became an arcane trickster. My parents are currently living in "insert city name here" comfortably with all the riches they stole. BTW they are high level NPC's so don't mess with them, and I have made 14th level character sheets for them.
DM: Wait so your character grew up in a happy loving family with no tragic events whatsoever.
Rogue: Yes?
DM: There is no needlessly edgy, or excessively gruesome stuff in your backstory whatsoever.
Rogue: I mean aside from being the great grand son of freaking Asmodias, and the grand son of Glaxia who my family and myself are in good relations with as well as being born in the nine hells which was no different from being born anywhere else aside from the fact that I respawn in the nine hells when I die. No there isn't anything like that.

[Complexicon_of_a_Startist]

This is literally just two guys trying to out angst the other and I'm here for it

[Darkthestral]

Meanwhile I'm playing a rouge squirrel person that had a lovely childhood, has 17 siblings, a large extended family, and went into the world to gather things to bring back to their village.
Meanwhile every other character in the Champaign has an absurdly tragic backstory and I'm just there eating a walnut with the pirate I convinced to turn good.

[mangermatilla]

Well to be honest I kinda like when the 1st Edition Rogue called as a "Thief"

[lordbalthosadinferni]

5e: We need a rogue in the party to... uh... be... melodramatic?
AD&D: DEAR GOD SO MANY TRAPS

[sciencetube]

"You're the reason it's called Thieves Can't" is the best insult I've heard in a long time.

[Sansanvi_Inanis]

This was...surprisingly wholesome

Also, is your voice ok after doing the 1st Edition Thief?

[Callordin]

ok first of all I never realized that "orphan rogue" was a trope

but also my homebrew setting has an eipc rogue secretly working for the good queen who adopts street urchins and teaches them everything he knows so - you know, rogue guild found family levels 1-20 and mysterious tax embezzlement goes to food, daggers, and stuffed animals with dagger and smuggling compartments

[thestylemage]

Kind of expected the hug to end in a double backstab...

[Jw]

"I was BORN without parents." I going to steal this quote for a backstory. 🤣

[derandere]

Thieves can't is actually reading a second meaning between the lines instead of hand signs. They would have shouted nonsense at each other.
"I will stir your soup!"
Yeah? Well, my barkeeper prefers to drink tea with his left hand, what are you gonna do about it?"