Why narcissists don't 'get' sarcasm...

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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT.

[TxHoneyBee]

I find that vulnerable narcissists use sarcasm extensively to insult you to your face and hide behind it being a 'joke'. They can't just be rude and nasty and own it, own who they are.

[trevorforrester]

I can answer that without even watching the video. A narcissist cannot understand sarcasm because he/she is too busy personalizing the sarcasm and thinking it's directed at them rather than the way sarcasm is meant to be perceived. Since the world rotates around the narcissist...everything that is said in the narcissist presence is automatically taken as a personal attack.

[lt]

“Narcissistic people don’t want to be seen as sensitive, even though they are”. Bang on! My covert narcissist parent always said she did not care what other people think, meanwhile, in truth what other people thought about her children was the ONLY thing that mattered about us!

[p.w.]

I feel like another reason narcissists don't get sarcasm in others, or why they take it the wrong way, is because the only time they use is to hurt someone or to help themselves feel superior.

[ezb]

So many of these videos remind me of moments with my narcissistic mother. Once, she made a comment about my appearance that was clearly intended to be negative. I responded with “Thank you!” said in a cheerful tone of voice. Her response was exactly like one you mimicked: “Huh?” Even after I told her I was being sarcastic, she seemed quite puzzled. I guess she couldn’t believe that I wasn’t crushed by her criticism.

[f-the-land]

I've often seen similarities with the way Narcissists behave, and people with brain damage. Your comparison to them, and people who've had strokes are on point. Excellent video, thanks.

[youngblood]

I am not what you think I am.
You are what you think I am.

[chakra]

Thanks Doctor. Hits the nail on the head. I did not see this. My narc. does not like word play or puns. I gave up trying to be witty and just went with gray rock.

I'm afraid fifty years of sitcoms has raised backhanded sarcasm to a high art and coursened all of us to some degree.

[janeloraine]

I appreciate so much the finer points about narcissism that you address here. For people who are not in N relationships, these things are invisible. For those of us who have been affected, it is validating to understand this is normal behavior for them (narcissists). Thank you!

[dnwitte]

If I used sarcasm with my narc, "everything out of my mouth is drivel and nothing I say can be taken seriously and that's just but if I objected to his incessant sarcastic needling it was because I "have such a low tolerance for teasing and to be so sensitive is just Sweet bleeding Jesus I came to despise that person.

[blinkthdog]

My suspected narc ex doesn't get sarcasm. He thinks it means saying "no offense" before you say something. He cannot discern or use it properly

[hexabellezarco]

This makes so much sense!!! I've been in a few relationships where I would make jokes (about myself or bad situations) using sarcasm, and they would look at me weird or try to explain the situation to me thinking I didn't understand. I'd have to clarify that it was a joke and it was the most bizarre thing! It always felt like they believed I was stupid and it would frustrate me to no end. They'd get this air of superiority and have a condescending tone as a response to a simple joke. Now I understand what was going on!

[creativearena]

I being an INFJ, sarcasm is my first language and boy o boy ! Did I get into umpteen ‘be respectful and positive’ speeches !

[Lola-mtne]

This is a good subject, one easily hidden till it's too late. their sarcasm can also easily turn into a putdown, filled with rage and contempt.

[istateyourname]

I had a former neighbor who would launch a zinger & then break into laughter. She was part of a weekly coffee group & I noticed whatever mood she came with~would HAVE to set the tone for the entire group. I soon NOPED out of that group. And, of course she bad mouthed me after the fact. She subsequently alienated all other neighbors and moved away. Woot woot!

[KatieWynn]

I hated it when ppl used to say, “You know what I sayin’?” No, I don’t know what you are saying.

[blee]

During the good old times before I got into the relationship with my narcissist ex, I used to have so much fun making light hearted sarcastic jokes with her. After i got into the relationship, turned 180 degrees.

I used to watch comedian videos and my ex would be contemptuous about me watching them. Finally I understand why.

Last but not least, everything in a narcissistic relationship is never a two way street.

[cloyewoods]

Thank you!! It's very true that they can dish it, but they can't take it. Thank you for this explanation.

[arturoehr]

Every time I made a joke she instantly took it personally and got mad, now I understand it’s because their very fragile self sense

[LethoHali]

My ex never got when I am being sarcastic but he always used it to dish insults and then say he’s joking. 🤔 🤦🏽‍♀️🤯