Top Notch Couples Keep the Spark Weekly Review 9

Top Notch Couples Keep the Spark Weekly Review

Please listen primarily for the audio. The visuals are extra, just reminders and reinforcements, not the focus. I am not with the witness protection plan, I just prefer to have the content be the focus, not me.

I have written the basic idea for each week down below.

I want couples to stay together, if at all possible. I think it helps our community and our society if we can have satisfied, contented, happy couples, more healthy partnerships, good role models of love and kindness. Everyone wins. You can borrow an idea from John Gottman, PhD wherein you review your relationship weekly- What went well?

Celebrate what is working and reinforce that. Then ask, “What is not going well?” Imagine doing that weekly. That way, you can easily detect when something is not working and have the opportunity to adjust or course correct. If you need or prefer to get help with counseling, please do so. If there are issues with addiction, mental health, domestic violence and the like, you will probably need outside help. Not every relationship can be saved, but let’s stack the deck in your favor. Let’s intervene early on and prevent problems, when possible.

Set aside time for your relationship and going over these prompts once a week should be enough to get you on track. You don’t need to be in counseling to benefit from these. They also reinforce counseling you have already had. They may expose needs in your relationship that you can quickly get met.

Feel free to share these with your friends and family and see if we can get a greater sense of community of folks who value satisfying relationships and having one another’s backs. Let’s get more people who know how to be in healthy relationships and enjoy supporting others doing the same.

Consider it your contribution to making the world a better place.

Week 9 Softened start up and dreams within conflict.
Did and do you review the six conflict skills?

Do you remember what they are? Are they in your notes?

Have you gotten the box entitled, “Gottman Art and Science of Love” from the Gottman Institute? If you have these skills, or at least know about them, you increase your confidence that what you need to discuss, you can be successful.

Softened startup refers to how you approach conflict. Do you come in loaded for bear or do you see your partner as a scared child, hurting and needing empathy and compassion?

Are you gentle and talk about your own hurt or are you aggressively pointing out where they stink and need to improve- or you will leave?

Put yourself in full empathy mode and consider that they might not feel emotionally safe enough to open to you if you are at that level aggressive.

What is your contribution to the situation?

Own it and change what needs to be changed.