Misconceptions Around BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder)

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Borderline personality disorder (BPD) comes with many myths and misconceptions. Here to discuss the myths about borderline personality disorder you need to know is personality disorders expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula.

She answers:
Why are there so many misconceptions surrounding borderline personality disorder?
What are the main misconceptions and myths about BPD?
Why does each of these misconceptions persist?
Is there hope for people who suffer from borderline personality disorder?

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[SpudEater]

It's having this intense feeling of wanting to be understood and loved while simultaneously fearing getting too close and not even just pushing, shoving people away.

[believeonChriststaystrong]

My wife has BPD she has an extremely loving heart. I hope I can be a good support for her during her struggles. People with BPD are largely stigmatized and labeled in society. Videos like this are great as they help bring more awareness

[christopherrogers]

The thing that hit me in this video at the end was when she say's at 8:58 "people with BPD often walks through the world slowly Believing that nobody wants to spend time with them because that's the feedback they are receiving." I feel this everyday now, I have BPD and I purposefully avoid going out and meeting people because of this, I lost my best friend after having tried to commit suicide. It's not that we want to feel this way either, I want friends and people in my life but avoid it because it honestly hurts to lose people you cared about and thought cared about you, it's just easier to be alone. I have isolated myself and I truly believe that most people once they get to know me will hate me eventually so why bother.

[hbtuber]

I have BPD and I wish people tried to understand it more instead of trying to guess or judge right away. It sucks

[taracate]

Borderline to me, feels more like everyone around me is going to leave me because I don’t know how to make myself calm down so I’m misunderstood and ignored so I’m constantly trying to feel valued. It’s like people I care about don’t understand why they are upsetting me and they don’t listen because I am really emotional. Then they get frustrated because they can’t keep dealing with it and they leave and the whole time I know it is happening and I understand what it is and I try to tell them but I am desperately trying to get control over myself but nothing is working. I’m watching the ship crash into the rocks because the captain and crew are men being lured by sirens and I can’t get them to listen because I’m the only female on board. I’m screaming but the spell is too strong and I have to die because I can’t get control. That’s how it feels, like I’m going to die. I’m so grateful that I am getting help now because I was really in a dark place and I don’t know how I would have been able to go much longer.

[david_oliveira]

"Chronic Affective Instability Disorder" (CAID) That would be better, certainly!

Affective = mood/moodiness

[tessa_]

I'm 46 years old and grew up with a BPD mother. I was in my late teens when I realized my mother wasn't like most parents. I didn't know parents were proud of their kids until I saw my friends' parents gushing over their accomplishments. I currently go to therapy and now understand why I HAD low self-esteem, was a perfectionist, and why I always thought that when anything went wrong it was my fault. I now know how to love myself, have self-care, and know that circumstances sometimes happen beyond my control, therefore it cannot be my fault.

[v_eye_let_]

What this video just said to everyone with BPD: There's a tiny shred of hope for you but you better be able to afford it. Very nice.

[aforeign]

the woman is AMAZING! i've been in therapy for 5 years now but only got diagnosed 3 years ago by two different doctors. recently i've been experiencing dissociative episodes caused by emotionally stressful events and, i would LOVE to hear from Dr. Ramani about the topic (dissociation in BPD). THESE SERIES ARE HELPING ME SO MUCH!! we all need more, please!

[glee_again]

I spoke with a counselor today who said he calls BPD “Complex Trauma Disorder” I really liked that. Maybe it could be “Complex Trauma Affective Disorder” if we combine with Dr. Ramni’s “Chronic Affective Instability Disorder”.

[etaylor]

I think someone with BPD is someone who has the genetic traits for high empathy, but because they had emotionally invalidating upbringings this manifested as BPD instead of just being an empath. People with less empathy who have the same sort of upbringing instead turn out to be narcissists. I think BPD is like narcissism because the core wound is the same, but with an ability to feel empathy and an understanding that you are not better than everyone.

[lshea]

Huge misconception that rarely comes up from a professional, is the fact that the stigma around BPD is the most prominent amongst the mental and medical healthcare professionals they come in contact with and not the general population. In my experience, most non-medical professionals have stigma for mental illness overall but have little idea what BPD is, whereas health professionals are extremely quick to apply stigma to people with BPD when they see them in an ER, office, mental health, etc. setting.

Despite all I know from a degree in psychology, all I have done to work on my health and myself in the last 12 years (therapy, DBTx2, PTSD specialized treatment inpatient 3 months, medications, etc), when I go to the ER, for any reason, once they see my chart and the "BPD" on it I am often treated as someone who has never done anything to improve their condition. The most common things that I have experienced is anger and reluctance to try and understand what I am there for on the part of the professional. Having bipolar, a dissociative disorder and PTSD as well, it is really obvious when they say and do certain things that don't fit when I am there for something unrelated to BPD. The traits I feel are applied to me: ignorant, manipulative, attention-seeking, shallow, secretive, inauthentic, reluctant to get better, reluctant to take responsibility, and immature. This is generally with all the professionals you encounter that only know BPD from a textbook and the minimal interactions they have with patients with BPD in the ER, etc. Usually it's nurses, ER doctors, crisis counsellors, even psychiatrists, but the blatant discrimination and negative interactions are with the medically trained staff, even though the mental health staff can be just as ignorant.

It is never ok for anyone to say "you are a borderline and that's all you'll ever be" especially from a psych nurse in a psych ward of a hospital. I have said it before but this condition is so misunderstood and has made it so that no matter how hard I have worked to get better, the label ensures that your interactions with others, especially health professionals, will be difficult and often confusing and just repeat the feeling of invalidation that possibly brought this diagnosis into your life in the first place.

What I wish health professionals would do more often is, before making an assumption, ask WHY people are doing what they are doing that is questionable rather than apply a reason based on the diagnosis on their file, especially when BPD is extremely complicated and often accompanied by other complicated disorders. This would help greatly with accurate diagnosis. It is very confusing, and offensive, when you are doing things due to past traumas and being treated as a person who has BPD and being taught about having empathy, possibly for an abuser they are unaware of. If it's the proper diagnosis, this is good treatment. If this is not, in my experience I have never felt more misunderstood and confused about my own mental health and my future. My treatment by medical professionals around BPD has given me PTSD (flashbacks, avoidance and of the hospital, nightmares, etc.). I know it is extreme but it has been really bad and has also had a very negative impact on my self-esteem. The qualities that known but not divulged to patients are the ones that are creating very negative narratives about you as a person/patient/same-thing.

What I would like to see from this series on BPD is more from a patients perspective. What about misdiagnosis of BPD? What about the stigma within the profession to treat these patients? What about the fact that there is a negative inference about their behaviour in treatment? In this video they mention treatment resistance. I would like to add, many people when given a diagnosis of mental or physical health ignore the importance to receive help. Accepting you have to change your life because you are diabetic is a very difficult thing and doctors struggle with patients in that area too. It is hard to admit there is something wrong with you and also that you now have to change. This is not specific to BPD. This video made it sound like this was extremely common for BPD. As a personality disorder, that would make sense, but there are definitely people with BPD who try really hard to overcome their issues and maintain a more stable life. I am aware this is all coming from a positive place trying to explain what the diagnosis is, but to me the stigma within the profession is so pervasive that it needs to be addressed. I have met very few professionals in the last 12 years that had a respectful and understanding outlook on the disorder.

[KillerCandy]

I just about cried when she named it emotional instability disorder.

I remember when I was told I was diagnosed with BPD. Hearing the name of it alone and not knowing what it meant was terrifying. To the point I dismissed even hearing it.

Took a couple years (😒like 10 to be exact) and noticing the "episodes" happening more frequently, graduating to chronicle sickness, before I began to look into it.
I've been down the rabbit hole ever since and these videos have helped.me better process, the umteen books I've read, of how and why our brains grew to function like this. I understand myself a little bit better, and confidently can share some of them with family members so they now can too.
Thank you so much for what you do.

[nahiedlaila]

The worst thing about bpd is the intense shame and guilt afterwards and fear of abandonment. It really terrifies and makes me so depressed that i dont even see the point in living anymore cuz i dont see the light at the end of the tunnel but i aint giving up after all this suffering for years. I dont want it to be for nothing. I want to cure myself with the help of the right treatment and tips from these videos and REAL PROPER EDUCATED PSYCHOLOGISTS. I am the only one who can take true responsibility for my life and therefore the only one that can truly make a positive change for the rest of my life which makes me feel empowered and hopeful and determined to keep thriving for a better and brighter future! That thought keeps me going and makes it all worthwhile

[elisan]

Crazy thing is, having been diagnosed with bpd about a year ago and having experienced hospitalization and the dialectical behavioral therapy, out of the hundreds of videos ive watched and the hundreds of hours ive spent researching my disorder, she is the very first expert who mentions the therapy that was specifically designed and researched for people with bpd.
There is a wholeass psychiatric centre IN MY CITY that specializes in emotional regulation disorders and i had never even heard about it. This woman is fantastic.
Never in my life have i ever felt as heard and validated in my experiences, in my suffering, as when i was working with the professionals taking care of me.

Im going back to the hospital in a few months for further treatment.
This woman gives me hope.
I want to move on with my life.

[TweekerMcCormick]

When I went through diagnosis (in the UK) they actually used the term EUPD - Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder - which is a lot more "what it says in the tin" than BPD/Borderline is.

[mawdi]

I have BPD and everything I heard here is spot-on. Everything from the suicidal thoughts to the paranoid delusions. I am also a man. Men do get this ****. I have to say the worst part of this is job relationships. It's like being in high school and no one likes you.

[sammiikayyyyy]

BPD is SO misunderstood! Thank you for this. I’m a therapist & this video is SO helpful!

[MamaTfromMN]

Many moons ago, my therapist pulled out the DSM and read me the symptoms or criteria of BPD. As another viewer said, paraphrased, I had 13 out of 9. I asked if that meant he was diagnosing me and he softly smiled and wondered out loud if I really needed more labels? He then said, "it just means you have trouble managing your feelings. " Yes. This is a great explanation.

[katward]

I love how he adds “there’s an option” - the reality is the ‘majority’ of the world doesn’t have that “option”... not the hugest fan of the interviewer, but appreciate the optic view of the interview