Disorganized Attachment ‐ 1st strategy for healing | Dr Sia

Hi, my name is Dr Sia. I am a psychotherapist, lecturer, and researcher. As per usual, I hope you comment, subscribe, and press that bell icon for regular updates.

In this video I talk about disorganized attachment and how people with this type of attachment tend to not ask questions and instead assume attack from others.

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[Jamie-CityOnAHill]

This is great! I never ask questions and assume… partly because of rejection.

[lifecoachingtoronto]

Asking questions puts them in the drivers seat, which makes most people feel calmer right off the bat :)

[sammymakeitmakecents]

This is slightly challenging. Because, unfortunately, we tend to be drawn more to narcissistic and insecure attachment styles. These people tend to be highly not self aware. I’ve tried to have conversations with people like this, where I express why something they’ve said or done doesn’t feel good to me. And then I get the “oh no, I love you I didn’t mean that at all.” Only for them to keep saying and doing things that show they have some underlying jealousy or something towards me. Questions and conversations are good with people who can be accountable and honest about their intentions/feelings.

[thisgirlkarenn]

Oh this is so helpful. I've got to gather the courage to ask questions. I always assume 🤦‍♀️

[Mybigmess]

This is a tricky one because when I said to this friend that what she said hurt me, she was like everything I say is to help you blablabla but I told my therapist and she advised me not to turn to this friend bc she was angry with the world and she wouldn't give me good advice....
Sometimes the other person's view is distorted and they think are doing good but in the end they hurt, so i recommend being careful.
This "friend" is not a friend anymore bc she got angry and told me to return all the presents she got me for my birthday, my therapist told me to lose contact with her because she wasn't a good person

[sleep]

but what if i ask them too much and they hate me-

[La-Donna]

Thanks for this actionable tip. I’m very guilty of assuming the worst and running with that assumption.

[lavenderwarrior]

it is so hard to ask when your partner snaps on you for asking a question, that they think should be obvious because it is not apparent to me. Which makes me not want to ask anything.

[whiggygirl]

I get constantly criticised by my DA for asking questions 😢

[cornellcutie]

But what happens if the person is and you just exposed your vulnerability to them?

[bbbbraveheart]

me, disorganized attachment, 😭 really wanna change it. it hurts me a lot!

[charlotte]

What does Amber Heard & Johnny Depp have to do with this? I'm genuinely curious

[whenyousmileismiletoo]

People wont just answer us sincerely of course they will lie right to our faces

[mermaidtales]

You look like Jake Gyllenhaal's handsome older brother!!!😂❤

[darbylane]

How do I heal a wound of abandonment and feeling of being a victim but feeling like I deserve to be a victim and abandoned??

[its.BiG.mamaaaa]

But what if they say no but in fact they are going to hurt me, betray me, hate on me, judge me or whatever

[random_citizenn]

What if You ask questions and people take it personal?

[jm]

I argue that the first thing a disorganized person should do is learn trust. They won’t ask questions if they believe that they will be lied to.

[박돌-me]

But asking those questions make me feel like Im being so defensive... no? Am I assuming things again 😭

[adelacelle]

I don't think it's good advice because it's not applicable. It gets old really fast to receive constant questions like this. It has to come from within. People cannot calm us 24/7 with endless questionning.