If He's Not Serious, STOP CHASING & Do This Instead... | RC Blakes

Today's guest is pastor R.C. Blakes, Jr. RC is a husband, a father of four, a grandfather of three and an empowerment speaker. Though he is a pastor, preacher and teacher his approach is conversational. He believes that transformation happens in conversation. He tackles issues and subjects that are sometimes uncomfortable for many leaders to address and maybe even difficult for some people to understand. He is the author of several books, including: Queenology, Imperfectly Holy, Soul-Ties and others. His most popular is entitled The Father Daughter Talk, which is actually more than a book- it is a national movement. RC’s women’s empowerment conferences ( Queenology) are life changing for women who travel from around the nation and abroad. RC has traveled extensively to communicate the principles of: healthy relationships- self-discovery- self-love, faith in God- and success in life.

Today on the show we discuss: The three biggest relationship and dating mistakes people are making, qualities that are often overlooked but matter when choosing a partner, what healthy masculine and feminine energy looks like, why a woman should never pursue a man, how to know if you’re compatible with someone, why the word “submission” is often misunderstood, how to make a relationship last a lifetime and more.

What to listen for:

00:00 Intro
00:45 3 biggest dating mistakes that people are making
05:10 Qualities that are often overlooked but matter when choosing a partner
10:44 Healthy masculine and feminine energy
18:01 Why a woman should never pursue a man
23:04 How to let someone know you’re interested in them
26:09 Don’t chase (do this instead)
27:58 How to know if you’re compatible
32:37 Why is the word “submission” misunderstood?
38:42 A real marriage is “not the divorcing of me for the creation of we”
40:04 Common myth about masculine men and female entrepreneurs
43:51 How to not “lose yourself’ in a relationship
49:01 How to make a marriage or relationship last a lifetime
53:39 When is it time to break up?
57:05 How to become empowered after a breakup

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[JustBE_U]

if you have to pursue a man...

"HE DOESN'T WANT YOU!"

[angelinapeterson]

As I was packing up my entire home to flee from the narcissist while he was away on vacation Pastor Blake’s was on full blast speaking the word to me. All I kept hearing was your time is NOW. MOVE! Thank you pastor for encouraging me to do what’s best for my son and I. You are such a blessing

[africaribbean]

Feminine: attracts
Masculine: pursues

[embel]

To all ladies: please love yourselves and forgive yourselves. Be kind and merciful to yourselves and respect the boundaries you have/will establish for yourselves. Get to know yourselves really well and don't depend on a man's love and attention to feel validated and good about yourself. You are worth it and you are already loved. You are lovable. No matter what he's said to you in the past or no matter what you may believe about yourself. Don't underestimate nor look down on yourself, forget what others might say or think about you. Love God first then love you next. He created you to be happy and loved.

[donnajeffreys]

Someone emotionally immature will definitely age you much faster!!! If he's NOT the RIGHT one staying single is so peaceful 💙✌🏽

[marymagdalene]

"You know it's time to walk away when you have to constantly convince a person of your value." This hit me hard and is 100% true...thank you Pastor for your words and thank you Doug for asking!

[kTorres]

My prayers for us women who wear our hearts on our sleeve who get emotionally invested way too soon, is that we can know our worth especially when a man shows that they want us then they pull away, that we are wise enough not to chase him. This happened to me and I'm having the most difficult time, he ignored me right in front of my face. I have to believe God showed me exactly what I needed to see. I'm too mature to play these childish games. 💔 I've already suffered the heartache of a divorce from a narcissistic man. Everyone keeps telling me I'm strong but I feel like I'm dying inside. Heaven Father help me heal from all this trauma I carry in my heart 🙏

[sonyagutierrez]

My dad gave my mom money to buy him his birthday gifts. My dad took care of my mom with money for the rest of her life. Even when my dad passed away he left my mom and kids who know are adults financially secure.

[maxinec]

"A real marriage is not the divorcing of me for the creation of we. A real marriage is the merging of you and me into we." R.C. Blakes. Well said sir, well said!

[seetaapplewhaite]

Two months ago my husband walked out said he wants some space and our financial stress is suffocating him....he came back on August 14 our wedding anniversary and first thing he mentioned that he has a friend he speaks to visits take out etc ... I said ok so its over with us ....he said no i want to reconcile and make it took a deep breath and said NO i don't think if shes your friend you saw it firto bring up her name and other things on our first meeting after two months Sorry.... I got up and walked out.... funny thing is I don't know what i didn't cry feel hurt or anything i just sighed and said God will put me where I belong and like pastor said i will get the person best suited to me and my

[marisolrivera]

When picking a partner that fits into your future you must know yourself and have a relationship with your Creator.

[abigail]

Woman submitting to a man is the fruit of him honoring her. In order to honour her, he will have to kinda submit to her first, then she will return this to him by honoring him. So true

[anabautista]

WALK AWAY if you constantly have to convince a person of your value. *If you do more parenting than partnering. *If the glue of the relationship is apologies. *

[anabautista]

Choose a man capacitated to accommodate all of you. Don't diminish yourself to fit into his life.

[Maria-]

It’s spot on, women who pursue men, will always be pursuing them, it makes men lazy, and then if they end up with that man, they then wonder, why doesn’t he buy me gifts, why doesn’t he surprise me etc etc, well why would he? You’ve made it all about him!

[allthingshsyf]

Parents must have talks like these with their children. Molested by my father, and my mother never educated me about anything. Takes a toll on your life. I am so grateful to this pastor for what he does.

[christchild]

I’ve heard someone else say all you haft to do is smile and look away, a couple of years ago. So one evening at the train station I decided to try it, on a White Man, I’m Black, the reason, because they aren’t that aggressive as the brothers, so I figured if it worked with him, it’s true. Well it worked lol 😂, he chased me, asked for my number, I was looking cute that day too, I was freeked out, I honestly wasn’t expecting that. All that to say, if he’s interested he will respond to a flirty smile, then look away. Don’t pursue Men.

[sharoneh]

What I treasure about RC Blakes
1. He keeps it real with real talk in real time.
2. He gives clear distinctions about looking for your type instead of your kind.
3. He breaks down many assumptions about relationships.
4. He speaks on the psychological perspectives and definitions in common language.
5. He gives bibical foundations and scriptures to ground truths.
6.He speak from experiences and with authority.
7. He is anointed and appointed to minister; such a blessing ✅
May God contine to bless your ministry.

[anabautista]

When relationships have been your poison, you don't need another relationship. You need isolation. You need to fast. Think through your past relationships. Do the work and come to a place of self-awareness. Establish the parameters.

[cosmic_curves]

Blake has become a type of spiritual father to many people. As a woman I had my father present in my life & I love him very much. However, we never had talks like this- teaching me what to look for in a man, red flags when dating, or the good traits. I made a lot of mistakes before I found Blake’s teachings. In my 40’s I am finding myself again because of this man. You don’t have to be Cristian for his messages to resonate, because his thought process is universal- there’s something in it that can reach to the heart of everyone. In a toxic dating society that we are currently enduring in 2023, Blake is an advocate that truly wants to save healthy love.