How to Stop Worrying Whether or Not They Like You

We spend an inordinate amount of time concentrating on the question of whether or not we are liked. It would be a great deal wiser to put our energy into actually proving likeable and persuading our audience of our affection for them.

FURTHER READING

“One of the most acute questions we ask ourselves in relation to new friends and acquaintances is whether or not they like us. The question feels so significant because, depending on how we answer it in our minds, we will either take steps to deepen the friendship or, as is often the case, immediately make moves to withdraw from it so as to spare ourselves humiliation and embarrassment.”

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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Nick Hilditch

[rea]

How many relationships (romantic or not) have started just because one person shows an interest in the other one and the other one is just like: "cool, let's give it a go!"
We like to be liked!

[AFord]

I struggled with this til I was about thirty, when I realised exactly what is described so clearly here. If you act as if you like someone, and help them in some way, and they still don't like you, then you can just move on.

[MosesEmmet]

It’s hard, but realizing that some people just won’t like you.. Is the key. With some people it’s hard work just to keep a conversation civil.

[cyork]

in the 7th grade I asked this kid if i could be his friend. He just smiled and replied "Sure kid". We were the best of friends until he died some 50 years later.

[SophieLovesSunsets]

I honestly think one of the most valuable lessons to learn in life is that not everyone is going to like you and that's OK, to be a people pleaser and to put way too much emphasis on what others think is a road to misery, we can't be everything to everyone and still be true to ourselves.

[johnny_roots]

Despite how open, peaceful, and loving you attempt to be, people can only meet you, as deeply as they've met themselves. ~Matt Kahn.

[Xscape]

I just think of it like this: If I'm being open and authentic in my interactions and a person still judges me in a negative light and doesn't like a part of me, then that's not my problem. This means that there are some aspects of themselves that need to be adjusted if they can't take me for who I am. They'd be missing out, because I'm the prize.

[unleashingpotential-psycho]

One of the best ways to stop worrying about what other people think about yours to just remember that those people do nothing for you in your life and don’t deserve to hold that power over you.

[elenak]

A word of advice: Actively try to notice things you like about them! Focus on appreciating them, and they will naturally like being around you.

Second piece of advice: Some people are just ready to not like you, and this says much more about them than it does about you.

[muminnabil]

As someone who's felt ignored as a kid, It came to me very early. Some people will like you, others won't. For the same reason you will like some people but not everyone. The worst part is, those whom you really like don't necessarily feel the same about you. There's nothing you can do about it, it's part of being a human. Love strangers unconditionally, keep going and deepen your friendship unless you're 100% certain they're not that interested, gladly walk away without hating them. It's not their fault.

[georgiana]

This makes friendship so satisfying. Simply being empathetic, thoughtful and open is generally enough to make it work.

[randomizednrg]

“You’d care a lot less what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do”

[MrDaddynomates]

The day i decided to stop caring what people think of me was the best day ever. Since then i have better friendships. Just be who you are. That's all you can be.

[clinicalminatology]

We used to think that creating new friendships is something not easy, one because we're taught since childhood that we don't" make" friends but find them and they find us. Two because no one told us when we were little to like the other person we don't know, or to approach others in kind, warm way. What I think we could do is we like ourselves first then see the beauty of every person as unique and interesting by his own, and he'll in turn like the reflection of his good self in our eyes .

[marlenec]

School of Life, I love that you read my kind, but when I saw that black girl with similar hairstyle and blazer as mine, I knew this was a sign of the universe.

[CrispyBacon]

Okay this is getting weird. How does the School of Life know everything I need and release a video as soon as I need it...

[chubbyBunny]

I've lost so many friends during my time at uni and even now because I was afraid of getting hurt, afraid of making myself vulnerable only to have the door shut in my face. It was only when I finished uni and had people crying over my going back home that I realised that maybe, despite how I see myself, I am lovable.

[lupa]

This narrator has a nice voice 😀 I’m old and I don’t give a damn who doesn’t like me, but I used to care when I was younger, I think lots of younger folk do fret and nowadays the internet is causing them so much unnecessary anxiety and stress.

[NowNorie]

as usual, school of life hitting the mark

[sohini]

"Friendship cannot develop until one side takes a risk of showing they are ready to like even when there's as yet no evidence that they are liked back"